


Spin the bottle

by Skrigget



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Harry Potter Next Generation, M/M, Multi, Sexual Content, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-26
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-02-21 23:00:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 48,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2485388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skrigget/pseuds/Skrigget
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was all his stupid Weasley cousins and his brother's fault anyway. If they hadn't forced him to join a game of 'spin the bottle' he wouldn't have ended up kissing Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy and he, Albus, wouldn't have to suffer the bitter consequences.</p><p>Starring: parties, spiked punch, too many weasley cousins who don't know how to mind their own buisness, two stupid idiots who can't stay away from each other, James who is frustrated because of reasons (those reasons mostly being Al and Scorp), a kitchen, a quidditch match and a broom closet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is un-beta'd, all mistakes are my own and I apologize for the typos, my spelling is terrible, so...

_“I taste the good and bad in you and want them both.”_  
— Anita Ofokansi

 

Albus sat in the far corner of the Gryffindor Common Room, watching his older brother, James, make a total arse of himself. The older Potter was currently standing on the table in the middle of the common room, shouting some strange nonsense about how “a great new time” had finally enrolled where the Gryffindors could once again claim their rightful throne and title as the best quidditch team on Hogwarts. All around him his fellow Gryffindors students were cheering and shouting in agreement and all the while Albus just shook his head but couldn’t quiet help the small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

He wasn’t exactly sure what he was doing in the Gryffindor common room in the first place. Okay that wasn’t actually true. He very distinctly remembered Hugo looking at him with his impossibly large eyes, begging Albus to come with him to the party the Gryffindors were throwing for their new captain.

“But what do you need me for?” he’d groaned as Hugo pulled him through the corridors silently.

“You are Hufflepuff’s Prefect, Al, if we get caught I’m counting on you to get us out of trouble.” Hugo had looked at him shamelessly and beamed as a happy child when Albus didn’t protest, only rolled his eyes and sighed deeply, allowing his cousin and fellow Hufflepuff student to drag him further down until they found themselves outside – and two minutes later also inside – the Gryffindor common room.

“Oh, he is tipsy, isn’t he?”

Albus snorted and looked at Rose out of the corner of his eyes. “You bet he is,” Albus snorted as he watched his brother. “I blame the punch.”

“Oh, definitely blame the punch,” Rose said. “Peter Finnigan-Thomas poured something into it when he thought no one was looking and it looked a lot like firewhiskey if you ask me.”

“Of course it did,” Albus muttered and kept his eyes on his brother.

James had found the new captain in the mess of people beneath him and was pulling him up to join him on the table. Albus vaguely wondered if the table to carry them both. No one else seemed the least bit concerned about the furniture and instead cheered louder when Scorpius Malfoy finally stood next to James Potter, his arm slung around the older boy’s bony, broad shoulders.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” James shouted. “I give you Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy. The best bloody seeker in all of Hogwarts history and the man to – yet again – bring glory to Gryffindor!”

The common room erupted in cheers and shouts and Scorpius rolled his eyes but accepted the affection nevertheless, his entire face lit up with pride and joy, his grey eyes almost glowing in the dark.

“Definitely spiked the punch,” Albus concluded.

“Definitely,” Rose chimed in when their cousins, Louis and Fred – fifth and seventh year – grabbed Malfoy and started carrying him around on their shoulders, singing some horrendous song about glory and victory and “kicking those filthy Ravenclaws’ arses once and for all” and Albus recoiled to rolling his eyes again – he was fairly good at that.

Once upon a time, Albus remembered, there’d been a moment when the entire great hall had fallen into dead silence when the sorting hat had shouted “GRYFFINDOR” while Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy was wearing it. For what seemed like hours no one did anything but look at the small, blond boy. Scorpius, however, pretty quickly lived up to his promised Gryffindor courage and started walking toward his new house with his head held high and his gaze not flickering one bit.

And that was right about when James had started clapping. And so of course Victoire Weasley joined in, as well as Fred Weasley, Louis Weasley, Molly Weasley and every other Weasley present at the Gryffindor table and eventually – eventually the whole table was cheering and rooting for the petite boy. By the time he reached his destination the whole hall had joined Gryffindor in their welcoming.

“Spin the bottle!” Fred sang as he landed himself in the middle of the common room, his cheeks red with heat and excitement.

“Oh no,” Albus groaned.

“Yes!” James shouted, grabbed a random girl and dragged her down to join Fred. Louis and Molly jumped right into the circle forming on the floor. Melanie Longbottom – a fifth year – grabbed Malfoy and pulled him into the circle as well.

“Albus!” Louis shouted and waved for the other boy to join them.

“No,” Albus told them and shook his head determined. “No way – “

“Come on,” Hugo – who emerged at the other side of his sister – begged him.

“No way, I already came along to the bloody party, I’m not going to join some mindless game of spine the stupid bottle, you know I hate that game ever since that incident in second year with the Hippogriff!”

They pretended like he hadn’t said anything. So of course Albus ended up joining.

And it was as much of a catastrophe as he’d known it would be.

He sat between his brother and Rose as Fred leaned forward to spine the bottle. All around them people were laughing and shouting, pairs were kissing in corners and on the couch, loud music was playing from somewhere Albus couldn’t determine and bodies were jumping up and down to the beat.

He looked down at the bottle as it stopped in front of himself.

Oh no.

“Albus, Albus, Albus, I knew it was a good idea for you to join us,” Fred beamed and looked at James who smirked and lifted both his eyebrows.

Oh bloody hell no.

“Come on, Freddy, what is it this time?” he asked. “Any Hippogriffs hidden somewhere?”

“That was one time,” Hugo protested weakly. “And it’s not like you were permanently damaged or anything.”

Scorpius threw his head back and laughed loud and clear, James and Fred joining him. Albus looked at them and noticed how Melanie curled into Scorpius side when he wrapped a strong arm around her smaller frame. James had told him something about how they’d been dating for more than two years, how Mel had been the one to ask Scorpius out because he was too much of a scared cat to do it himself and that they’d been mad for each other ever since their first kiss by the lake. Or something along those lines.

“I have it,” Fred said and pulled Albus back to the presence. “Kiss Bella.”

“Who?” Albus frowned immediately.

“Her,” James said and put a hand on the thigh belonging to the girl next to him.

“Oh,” Albus said, tilting his head slightly.

She was beautiful, he thought. Exactly the kind of girl James would date; he’d brought home plenty enough for Albus to recognize them by now. They all had long, wavy hair and big eyes, framed by long lashes, a pretty face and red, kissable lips to match.

The girl smirked when she caught his eyes and shrugged nonchalant. James cheered because that was his thing, it was what he did; he cheered. And Bella leaned forward, Albus following suit.

It was awkward and not very comfortable and to be brutally honest Albus just wanted it to end. Not that Bella wasn’t nice and all, she was, and she was a fairly decent kisser as well, not that he’d had much experience so far. But aside from all of that he really didn’t – well, enjoy it, as one might expect. There was that tiny little detail that Albus Severus Potter was gay. And he hadn’t really mentioned that to anyone yet, not even Rose or Hugo. Especially not James or Lily (who wasn’t joining them at the party because she had a date with a Slytherin boy named Zack Zabini who was hotter than strictly necessary, Albus thought).

Albus pulled back and Bella did as well – and he sat back down and that was it, really. Just a peek on the lips; he could handle that much without freaking out.

“Oh for crying – was that it?” James shouted. “You’re such a pussy, Al, that was hardly a kiss.”

“It was, though, and it’s mine turn to – “

“Bloody hell no,” James said and grabbed the bottle before Albus could. “We won’t accept that challenge.”

“What do you mean?” Albus frowned.

“That wasn’t an acceptable kiss,” James said and caught eyes with Fred who nodded in agreement.

“It was a kiss, you asked for and a kiss you got, now give me – “

“Then snog her.”

Albus froze and turned to Louis.

“What?” he asked dumbstruck.

“Snog her properly and we’ll continue.” Louis shrugged but a devilish smirk was creeping in on his otherwise beautiful features. He really should’ve been a Slytherin, bloody snake. Albus inhaled deeply, swallowed hard and looked away from his traitorous cousin.

“Fine,” he spat irritated.

“No!” James shouted suddenly and Albus slumped back again. “I have a better idea.”

“Oh bloody hell,” Albus murmured, closing his eyes. He really should have taken some of that punch, deciding to stay sober was the worst fucking idea he’d ever made, he decided.

“Snog Scorpius instead,” James bluntly stated, smirking widely.

Melanie and Molly laughed loudly and even Rose and Hugo joined them, as if Albus snogging Scorpius was the best fucking idea they’d heard all evening. Louis, Fred and James were sharing these terrible, cheeky looks and Albus had to resist the urge to punch them in the face. Repeatedly.

“What the fuck, James?” Albus spat, ready to get up and leave.

“Calm down, Al, it’s just – “

“I’ll do it,” Scorpius suddenly said, getting everyone’s attention once again. He shrugged nonchalant and even had the nerves to smirk when he looked at James and the others. “I don’t mind, it’s just a kiss.”

And there it was; the whole fucking problem.

Because it wasn’t just a kiss.

Kissing Bella was “just a kiss” but kissing Scorpius was… well, it was kissing Scorpius.

It was kissing his brother’s best friend, the star captain of the quidditch team.

It was kissing a bloke and it was Albus kissing a bloke in front of his family and it was –

It was Albus freaking out, that was what it was.

“See? Scorp is up for it, now kiss him.” Fred smiled widely and nodded encouragingly.

“No,” Albus stated simply, crossing his arm over his chest.

“You’re hurting poor Scorp’s feelings, Al, that’s not very nice,” Louis pouted. Albus just short him a quick, angry glare.

“Oh come on, not this again,” James groaned and threw his brother a filthy look. ,,You are ruining our celebration party with your bad mood, baby brother, so either kiss the goddamn quidditch captain or go back to your own house.”

Albus inhaled sharply, staring into his brother’s eyes with great intensity for a moment. He could feel the others eyeing him and even a few of the other Gryffindors had stopped making out or dancing to watch the scene.

There was simply nothing else to do.

“Fine,” Albus said, feeling a sea of ice in his stomach and he leaned towards Scorpius. The other boy looked somewhat taken aback by the sudden approach but quickly recovered and met Albus halfway.

At first it wasn’t much more that what Albus had done with Melanie but then Scorpius tilted his head, that little bastard, and parted his lips, obviously deepening the kiss. And Albus couldn’t help but respond. It was all instinct, in the end. He felt Scorpius put a hand on his neck and pull him closer, knew the other was right next to Albus thigh on the floor. And Albus couldn’t help himself; he reached out and grabbed Scorpius’ perfect, soft blond hair, tugging the taller boy down. And he wasn’t surprised when he felt Scorpius’ tongue in his mouth, tasted the other boy on his lips.

There was definitely cheering around them, people hooting and shouting and whatever else they were doing but for just a few more seconds Albus didn’t give a damn about anyone but Scorpius Malfoy who was a fit, popular bloke who had willingly kissed Albus. More or less. And Albus – Albus was horny and gay and he could feel his body react in ways it really, really shouldn’t with so many people around.

In a rush of panic with the sudden development, he let go of Scorpius’ hair and pushed himself off the floor, causing Scorpius to almost fall forward.  
He could hear laughter around him but suddenly every sound was so distant and hard to pinpoint. He could hear his own blood throbbing in his ears, drowning out any other sound their might be.

“There you go Al, that wasn’t so – hey, where’re you going?”

James rose from the floor when his younger brother turned around and marched out of the common room, all eyes on him. Scorpius got up, Al was certain of it, he heard him say something to James that made his infernal shouting stop abruptly but it didn’t matter – nothing mattered.

He had to clench his fists and breathe through his nose to calm himself down enough that he wouldn’t just run out of the bloody room. He’d made enough of a fool of himself as it was already, he didn’t need any more reasons for the Gryffindors to stare at him.

He made it to the portrait hole and when he slammed it hard, he heard the fat lady whine about “Potter brats, never could close one gently, could they now?” but Albus didn’t stop to turn and apologize. He didn’t stop to look if James was following, if Rose was right behind him or if Hugo had started pursuing him through the empty corridors. He didn’t stop when the portraits told him to stop making noise and go back to his own common room and he didn’t even stop when he saw Filch’s ugly cat make its way toward him for then to turn around and run – possibly to find Filch, Albus didn’t care.

“Wait!” he heard someone – oh bloody hell – shout behind him. “Wait, Al, just – dammit, just stop, will you?”

“Stop shouting young man!”

“I’m sorry, it’s just – Albus!”

“Oh, It’s that Malfoy kid,” another portrait mumbled.

“And the Potter kid,” he heard the first one sigh.

He hadn’t stopped at the mentioning of Scorpius’ name.

“Albus Severus Potter, would you please – “

Something made a horrible noise behind him, like Scorpius had walked straight into one of the armors rooming the corridor. Albus slowed down and then turned around, his heart hammering way too fucking fast in his chest, it was almost painful.

He looked down the corridor but all he saw was a flash of bright, blond hair and a red tie. All he heard was a grunt of pain and anger and the portraits still cursing and whispering to each other.

With a heavy sigh he raised his wand and whispered “lumos” before he made his way toward the tangle of limps called Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy; currently wrestling with an old, silver armor.

Albus crushed down next to it and reached out. He pretty quickly grabbed some of the heavy armor and was able to pull it off the struggling boy, who crawled away from it and then sat up.

In the aftermath of the event a threatening silence fell over them both, even the portraits seemed to have gone back to sleep. Albus pointed his wand to the armor, refusing to look at his classmate. He was perfectly aware of what a fool he’d made of himself, Scorpius probably thought he was a right idiot. Albus told himself he couldn’t care less what Malfoy thought about him, but he had a bitter taste in his mouth – Scorpius still lingered on his lips.

“I’m sorry.”

Albus, startled by the words, turned to Scorpius and immediately blinded the blond boy with the light from his wand. The other boy pulled a face and covered his eyes with his hand. “Sorry,” Albus murmured and lowered the wand.

After a few heartbeats of silence Scorpius tried again: “I am sorry, you know, Al.”

Albus swallowed hard and looked at his hands in his lap. “Why, you have nothing to be sorry for?”

“I shouldn’t have kissed you, you obviously didn’t want to,” Scorpius said with a shrug. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Albus continued. “It was James’ stupid idea.”

“He can be a right idiot.”

“Agreed,” Albus grunted darkly causing Scorpius to laugh. The sound made Albus’ lips tug gently with a smile. The shorter boy finally raised his gaze and caught grey eyes looking at him. Neither looked away. “I’m sorry too,” Albus finally said. “I overreacted.”

Scorpius tilted his head. “Why did you run off like that?”

Albus, biting his lower lip so hard it almost drew blood, looked down again. This was not a conversation he was about to have with his classmate and brother’s best friend at 1 in the morning in a dark corridor outside of the Gryffindor common room.

“Don’t know,” he lied. “I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry.” He prayed Scorpius would just fucking let it go, it was none of his business anyway. “I’m sorry James made you kiss me,” he added before the blond could dig any further into his escape.

Scorpius inhaled sharply. “I’m not.”

Albus furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the other boy – he simply couldn’t help it. And just as before he caught Scorpius’ beautiful eyes staring at him.  
“What?” Albus said dumbstruck by the tender words the other had suddenly spoken.

Chewing his lower lip furiously Scorpius moved around the armor to get closer to Albus, and it really should have looked awkward and weird, crawling toward the other boy like that, but somehow Scorpius made it look elegant and, dammit, sexy.

The heat rose to Albus’ cheeks when Scorpius was suddenly siting too close. He could smell the other boy; cinnamon and sharp cologne. For a moment Albus didn’t breathe, he just looked at Scorpius, trying to remember his own name while trying to figure out what the bloody hell was happening. Five minutes ago he’d been ready to die of shame and now –

Now Scorpius leaned forward and Albus might’ve made a squeal-like sound that was quickly, however, cut off by a pair of lips on his own.

The thoughts that had been running through his head stopped from one second to another and he huffed in surprise. Scorpius placed his hand on Albus’ cheek and pulled him closer and Albus couldn’t help but lean into the touch. The rough lips moved against his own and he reacted by opening his own mouth; a tongue sweeped into his mouth, making him moan low in his throat. The rather embarrassing sound didn’t seem to stop Scorpius in the least; in fact it just made the other boy grab hold of Albus’ face more furiously with both hands. Albus moved closer awkwardly, a hand positioned next to Scorpius’ right thigh and the other lingering between them for a moment before he grabbed Scorpius shirt and pulled the other boy closer.

Their noses bumped and their teeth hit and Albus could hardly breathe but he could taste the other boy and feel his lips moves against his own and Scorpius’ tongue was battling against his own and –

Suddenly Albus pushed away and practically stumbled back to his feet, panting for breath and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He stared at Scorpius who still sat on the floor, his lips red and his cheeks flushed.

“Albus,” Scorpius croaked out, his voice rough.

“Why did you do that?” Albus demanded, his voice wavering slightly. His heart was hammering harder than it had been before – and that said a lot – and his hands were even trembling slightly.

Scorpius ran his tongue along his lower lip and Albus had to look away from the insanely sexy sight. “I – I don’t know.”

Albus closed his eyes for a brief second, inhaling deeply, trying to calm every nerve in his body. “Okay,” he finally managed to say.

Scorpius rose immediately and took a step forward, his hands extended to Albus as if he wanted the other boy to take them and let their fingers intertwine. “Wait, no, that’s not – what I meant was – “

“Is this some joke?” It suddenly clicked for Albus. Why else would quidditch-playing Scorpius Malfoy who was madly in love with his beautiful girlfriend leave his own party to snog Albus freaking Potter? “Was this something James made you do? Freddie or Louis or – “ He had to swallow hard around a big lump in his throat. He was so goddamn stupid, he’d fallen for their little trick, he’d let Scorpius kiss him even though –

“What? No, of course not, why would – “

“Don’t play games with me,” Albus sneered and took a step back from the boy. He wanted to sound harsh and cruel, but he sounded more like he was begging the taller boy, pleading him.

“I’m not!” Scorpius practically shouted; his eyes wide and his mouth half open. “I’m sorry, I’m not playing games – no one made me do anything! God, if they found out…”  
Albus’ breath got caught in his throat as he looked at the distressed boy in front of him; half a head taller, blond hair brushed to the side, grey, wide eyes and his lips bruised from kissing.

“They can’t know.” Scorpius swallowed and looked straight into Albus’ bright, green eyes. “You can’t – “

“I won’t,” Albus spat, some of the venom returning to his voice. “Don’t worry.”

Scorpius nodded and leaned back, watching Albus carefully. He tugged his lip between his teeth and chewed on it thoughtfully and never looked away from the shorter boy who took a deep breathed and clenched his fists.

“We should head back,” Albus said, still not entirely sure what had just happened. “Or you should, I’ll just, you know, go back to…” His voice trailed off and he made a hand gesture and Scorpius nodded again, still not looking away from Albus. “Okay than,” the shorter one said and turned around with his heart still hammering with a thousand volts in his throat.

“Wait,” Scorpius all but whispered and grabbed his arm. Albus closed his eyes for a second, willing himself to calm down, and looked back over his shoulder. “Albus, I…”

"What?” Albus asked.

Scorpius eyes flickered from Albus’ eyes to his lips and he looked like he was fighting a war against himself. Albus couldn’t help but freeze, anticipation running through his veins.  
When Scorpius leaned forward again Albus thought for a brief second to push him away, to demand that the other one stopped playing games with him and instead told him what was going on, but instead he stood paralyzed when Scorpius’ lips brushed against his. Albus held his breath and his eyes fluttered closed. It wasn’t a kiss, it was just lips on lips. And then Scorpius leaned back and Albus turned around and walked away before neither of them could do anymore they’d regret in the morning.

He hurried down the corridors, waking several angry portraits in the process.

He made it to the Hufflepuff common room in the basement faster than he usually would have and without meeting either Filch or that horrible cat of his. In a nook in the kitchen corridor behind a stack of barrels he found the entrance to his common room. He tapped the barrel two from the bottom, middle of the second row, in the rhythm of ‘Helga Hufflepuff’ and the lid swung open, revealing the round common room. There were only a few seventh years still up, sitting on the overstuffed yellow and black couches near the fireplace. They looked up when he entered but he quickly left for the boys’ dormitories and into the sixth year’s room.

Four out of the five four-poster beds were all occupied by sleeping boys. In the one nearest Albus’ own laid Benjamin White and snored louder than should be legal and on the other side of the room, with an arm slung out, was Keaton Entwhistle. In the last two, Albus knew although he could neither see nor hear them, laid Simon Turner and Patrick Dawn.

Albus quickly changed and crawled into his bed own bed, turning so he was facing the wall. He was staring at it without blinking and his eyes were getting sore but he didn’t care.

  
He was utterly screwed, he thought to himself. He had two options, the way he saw it, and neither were good if he had to be honest. Either Scorpius would tell James what had happened and then James would probably think Albus was gay or bisexual, neither of which Albus yet wanted to admit to James or any other relatives. Or else Scorpius would shut up in fear of what James and especially Melanie would say and then Albus and Scorpius could live the rest of their lives never, ever mentioning their brief make out session. Holidays, that Scorpius tended to spend at The Potter house, were doomed to become awkward and tense for a while and Albus would probably be forced to remember the way his gut had twisted in, well, in lust when Scorpius had kissed him. Not a good option either. Then of course there was also the possibility that Scorpius had lied about it not being a joke, meaning he was probably laughing his balls off with James and the rest of the Weasley clan at this very moment. That would probably also lead to the dreaded “are you gay, Al?”- conversation. The thought made him groan.

He rolled over and tried to calm down.

He was about ninety percent sure Scorpius hadn’t been lying. Albus prided himself for, maybe not being friends with him, but at least being on somewhat friendly and familiar terms with the blond Gryffindor – they sometimes paired up in charms or potions – and it had seemed like Scorpius had been sincere. Then again, Scorpius wasn’t Albus’ friends, he was James’ and there never was a better bloody liar than James Sirius Potter.

Another groan.

God, he just wanted to… sleep. Sleep sounded like a good plan at this point so he forced his eyes closed and tried to think about anything but Scorpius and his rough, perfect lips and the way they’d send tingles through Albus’ body, like little shocks of electricity.

He settled on listening to Ben’s horrendous snoring and fell sleep around four.

\---

“I hate you,” Hugo announced first thing the following morning when they met in their common room. The fourth year glared at his older cousin but Albus was in no mood to argue with the younger boy. “I got caught to stupid Filch, you know, when I had to go home alone last night. Alone, Al, and he caught me and now I bloody have to attend detention with professor Longbottom and – “

“Oh, like that’s the worst that could have happened,” Albus mumbled as they entered the great hall.

“Maybe not,” Hugo agreed reluctantly. “But it’s still not fair.”

Albus snorted in disagreement but didn’t say anything else. He had spotted Scorpius sitting between Melanie and James at the Gryffindor table, neither of whom looked up at Albus. They seemed to be engaged in some light, funny conversation and all three of them laughed with Fred and Louis. For a moment Albus stood and stared at them; his jaw tensed and his fingers clenched.

“ – he said he was going to hang me by my thumbs or something in the basement like they’d done in – hey, Albus are you listening? What are you looking at anyway?”  
Hugo reappeared next to Albus and, furrowing his eyebrows, looked to the Gryffindor table as well. Albus quickly looked away and started walking toward Hufflepuff but it was too late: Hugo had noticed.

“Why were you staring at James? Did you guys get in a fight yesterday or what?” Hugo asked. “Or is this about that kiss with Scorp? Don’t tell me you are all freaking out and being a prat – “

“I’m not, Hugo, Merlin.” Albus sat down with a growl and very promptly refused to look back at the Gryffindors.

“Okay, okay,” Hugo said. “Are you okay? You seem a bit… tense this morning. Hangover?”

Albus took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. He told himself he was being a prat to Hugo that didn’t deserve it, he hadn’t technically done anything wrong – other than use his big eyes to force his older cousin to play babysitter at a Gryffindor party.

“No, sorry, I’m fine,” Albus said and exhaled. “You?”

“Oh, bloody hell no, Rose wouldn’t let me drink anything,” Hugo said and made a face. Albus chuckled and listened as the younger one began talking about Gabriel Tate, Gryffindors keeper, who’d claimed that Gryffindor would not only beat Hufflepuff in their upcoming game but also win with at least 200 points because – “They are just that good, that’s what that stupid wanker said!” Hugo made some wild hand gestures and Albus nodded. “I mean, okay I know we don’t have the best team this year but that doesn’t mean he can just, what, throw those accusations around, right? Am I right?”

“You are, as always, right,” Albus said. “Come on, we are going to be late.”

They left the Great Hall – Hugo still ranting about the horrific creature that was Tate – when they met Scorpius and James. They were standing by the main staircase, discussing something that obviously made James laugh; head thrown back and the whole thing.

Albus considered walking past them and toward the dungeon but Hugo had other plans and decided to wave – that little fucker – and James waved back, gesturing for them to come over. Holding back a deep sigh and an extreme eye-role, Albus followed the redhead.

“Baby brother,” James sang delighted. Albus had to resist the sudden urge to just turn around and run out of the castle when Scorpius turned and looked at him, a flicker of uncertainly playing in his grey eyes. At least, Albus concluded, that meant he hadn’t told James anything. “How are we this morning, Hufflepuffs?”

“Great,” Hugo said. “We’ll be even better when we kill you in the next game.”

“Dream on, Hugo, have you seen your team this year?” James snorted.

“Not this shit again,” Hugo muttered before he started a rather heated discussion with James that Albus did everything he could to stay out of.

“Wanna head to the dungeons, Al?” he heard a voice say. He turned on his heels and caught Scorpius smiling to him although the smile did seem a bit tense. Albus couldn’t blame him.

“Sure.” He trusted it sounded easy and not-at-all worried.

They left James and Hugo to their quidditch ranting and headed to the stairs. For a moment none of them said anything but just walked; their usual conversations about homework or try-outs or – god forbid – girlfriends were for the time being put on hold.

It wasn’t until they were a few steps away from the entrance to the classroom – at which point Albus felt like stabbing himself repeatedly in the eye with a fork – that Scorpius grabbed his arm and pulled him into an empty corridor.

Albus, stunned by the sudden move, practically stumbled into Scorpius’ arms and the boy all but let him. He held onto Albus’ shoulders and didn’t let go when he regained his balance. Albus stood frozen yet again, staring at Scorpius like he’d never really seen him before.

“I just want you to know that I’m really grateful that you didn’t tell anyone about yesterday,” Scorpius said.

“Sure,” Albus said, ready to step away and out of the other boy’s strong hold. Scorpius only tightened his grip and dug his nails into Albus’ shoulders. “Scorp?”

Determination flickered in the grey eyes and he leaned down, connecting his lips with Albus’.

It took too long for Albus to actually react to the sudden kiss and so Scorpius leaned back slightly – until Albus caught himself, gasped and reached out to grab Scorpius’ by the collar and pull him down again; this time they wasted no time and it was somewhat rougher and less awkward than their previous kisses. There was the feeling of Scorpius’ tongue against his own, lips moving, the taste of Scorpius in his mouth and it was all too much and yet not nearly enough and, in all honesty, Albus Potter had no idea what the holy hell was going on, only that he never wanted it to end.

Scorpius moved so he could press Albus against the hard brick wall, one hand gripping his wild, black hair and the other resting above his head. Albus yet again tugged the other boy closer until there was no space between them and their noses were touched.

When Scorpius finally pulled away to breathe Albus leaned his head back again the wall, trying to regains control over his desperate breathing.

“Holy – “ Scorpius swallowed the rest of the sentence when Albus leaned forward and rested his forehead against his sharp collarbone.

None of them said anything for the next minutes. They could hear students passing them by but from their position no one could see them so they didn’t even move. Scorpius kissed Albus on his hair, nuzzled his nose into the dark locks and breathed in.

“We should move,” Albus told him, his voice merely above a whisper.

“We should,” Scorpius agreed but for a few more seconds none of them moved. Then, when they noticed that the steady flow of students had stopped, they finally pulled apart.

Scorpius took a step back and Albus inhaled and straightens his back, suddenly avoiding looking at Scorpius. The taller one was chewing his lower lip – again – but neither of them said anything as they made their way to the classroom. They arrived just before the professor and sat down next to each other; the silence between them growing impossible heavy.

Half an hour later Scorpius grabbed a piece of parchment and scribbled down a message that he subtle pushed toward Albus. The other one frowned when he saw the paper and looked up but Scorpius wasn’t looking at him – anything but him, actually.

Albus carefully took the note and read it with his eyebrows furrowed:

“ _It was probably nothing but it felt like the world_ \- Morrissey”

He kept looking at it as if he expected the words to rearrange themselves into some new arrangement that would make more sense than the words currently written down. Just, nothing happened and the words were still scribbled down on the paper five minutes later when he finally looked up at Scorpius’ face and found nothing but a small smile and those glimmering eyes.

Albus looked away again and then down at the paper. What exactly he was supposed to do with the note, he wasn’t sure. He thought Scorpius was referring to the kiss but then again – how could he? How could any of what had just happened be real? Scorpius had a girlfriend, had had one for several years, and had, up until yesterday, made no intentions toward Al. Sure, neither had Al toward the other boy but he wasn’t the one dating Professor Longbottom’s only daughter, now was he?

The rest of the class Albus didn’t pay much attention to anything and he almost ended up blowing the whole classroom up when they had to make their potions – he couldn’t even remember the name of said potion, it was like he was going slowly but surely insane.

Shaking his head and growling in frustration he grabbed the paper from his desk, crumbled it and set it alit, stormed out of the class before Scorpius could make any more attempts at contacting him.

\---

He was sitting in the common room belonging to his dear house that same afternoon, reading a book about herbology. Scattered around on the other couches and furniture sat other members of his house. Some of them were reading while others talked or gossiped, did their homework or fell asleep over the table, head in their arms.

“Yo, Albus.”

“Yeah?” He looked up when Patrick entered and waved at him. “What’s going on, Pat?”

“Malfoy is here to talk to you,” Patrick answered with a shrug before he walked over to Benjamin and Gabriel who were doing their essays on werewolves to DADD the next day.  
Albus sat and stared at the entrance for a while – the pros and cons of walking out to the other boy running through his head. After a minute or two he sighed, placed the book on the table and got up. He noticed the way Patrick send him a questioning look but Albus chose to ignore it and stepped outside.

In the kitchen corridor he saw Scorpius leaned casually against the wall, talking with a portrait of a fat, old man called “Sir Prompt”.

For a moment Albus considered going back in before Scorpius noticed him but then – then he remembered the note (he hadn’t ever forgotten it to be honest) and something like affection or anger ran through him. Remarkable, he thought, how alike those two could seem at times.

“What do you want, Scorp?”

The boy turned on his heels abruptly and looked at Albus. “Look, I need to talk to you.”

“I’m not really…” Albus sighed, unsure of how to approach the situation.

“Al, I just need to explain – “ Scorpius explained as he stepped toward the shorter boy.

“No need,” Albus said and the venom returned once more to his voice: “It was a game for you, I get that – “

“I already told you it wasn’t a bloody game – “

“Then how do you explain that stupid note? That was clearly an attempt at making fun at me!”

“No it wasn’t! Look, can we just – can we perhaps go somewhere and talk?”

Scorpius looked so damn gorgeous when he pleaded; his eyes begging and his mouth turned into a pout. With another sigh Albus shook his head and said: “Fine. There’s an empty closet a few corridors down, it’s big enough for us both to fit into,” he said as he walked past the boy. Without looking back to check that Scorpius was following him he continued down the corridor, made a few twists and turns before he stopped in front on an old door. He looked to the side and caught Scorpius’ grey eyes. A sudden shudder ran down Albus’ spine and he had to swallow hard as he pushed the door open and stepped inside.

The closet was mostly empty except for a few old, broken brooms and a couple of books. Albus pulled out his wand and mumbled “lumos” before he leaned against the far wall. Scorpius closed the door and leaned against it, looking at Albus with intensity in his eyes.

“Let me explain,” Scorpius begged.

“Then explain,” Albus said.

“It wasn’t – I wasn’t – “ He inhaled sharply and tried again: ,,I really like kissing you.”

Albus blinked dumbstruck and didn’t look away from the boy. “Excuse me?” he finally asked.

“I don’t honestly know,” Scorpius confessed. “Okay, I mean, I just don’t know, I can’t really explain it.”

“You… like kissing me?” Albus repeated slowly.

“Yeah.”

“Just – just like that?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s that simple, then?”

“I mean, why wouldn’t it be? Why can’t it just be that simple? I don’t want to overanalyze this, all of this, we are teenagers, Al, we are supposed to fuck up and make stupid choices aren’t we?”

“And this is one of them?” Albus bit back.

“No – I don’t know, maybe? I just said I didn’t want to overanalyze it.”

“So,” Albus continued, “the note, what does that even mean?”

Scorpius smiled and it made his entire face lit up. Albus couldn’t help but smile a little himself although he tried to tell himself that this was hardly the time for flirting. Or maybe this was exactly the time for flirting?

“It means exactly what it said,” Scorpius answered, the smile never leaving his face or faltering the slightest.

Albus opened his mouth to say something – then closed it when he realized he had nothing to say. Then they stood there in the closet, dust hanging in the cold air between them and a spider spinning a web above their heads, staring at each other, none of them moving.

“We could,” Scorpius suddenly said and took a step closer, “continue from this morning? If you want, that is.”

Albus felt his breath hitch and he stopped breathing all together when Scorpius once again pressed him up against the wall behind him.

“Just like that?” Albus whispered as Scorpius’ eyes flickered between his green eyes and his red lips.

“Yeah,” Scorpius breathed and kissed him, long and hard. “Just like that.”

And Albus wrapped his arms around the other boy and pulled him closer, loving the feeling of Scorpius pressing against him, their mouths open and their tongues battling. And somewhere in the back of his head a voice shouted that Scorpius had a girlfriend, that Albus shouldn’t kiss him, that he shouldn’t let Scorpius use him like this, that it was all-together a terrible idea but Albus was too busy to really care about anything the voice had to say.

Rough hands grabbed his waist and a swollen mouth started moving down his cheek, kissing his jaw and then his throat. Albus threw his head back when the tip of Scorpius’ tongue ran over his collarbone. When the mouth started sucking and bruising his throat the boy couldn’t help but throw his head back again, just slightly more determined so it hit the wall painfully, and moan low in his throat. Instead of being repulsed by the sound, as Albus might’ve feared, Scorpius seemed encouraged and turned on and he started moving his hands more desperately.

They were suddenly panting quiet heavily, their bodies rocking against each other in a broken rhythm. When Scorpius moved so he could press his knee against Albus’ hard prick the boy all but whimpered and dug his nails into Scorpius fragile skin, gasping for air.

“Oh god,” Scorpius moaned against Albus’ neck when he started rocking his hips once again. He moved again, so this time his own prick could press against Albus’ and when it did they both moaned and gasped desperately.

Albus pulled Scorpius down for another kiss, a strong hold on the boy’s collar, and kissed him harder than he had before, his mouth opening in a silent moan when their picks met. They panted into each other’s mouths and the rhythm in which Scorpius rocked quickened until they were practically grinding shamelessly against one another.

Albus closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Scorpius’ shoulder, gripping onto his robes when he groaned and grunted out a rough: “I’m coming.”

Scorpius rocked harder and faster and followed close after.

In the aftermath of their orgasms neither boy moved, they just stood there, panting and trembling, holding onto each other while the air grew thick with the smell of come and sex.

It was Scorpius who finally took a shaking step back from Albus and inhaled sharply. But instead of saying anything along the lines of “it was a mistake” or something equally terrible, he just – smirked, that cheeky bastard, and leaned down for another quick kiss that Albus was happy to return. Then he, with a quick motion with his wand, made the already drying come disappear.

“So,” he said when they were both clean and breathing normally.

“Yeah,” Albus said and nodded once, twice, three times.

Scorpius laughed; loud and clear and not at all mockingly. “We should defiantly do that again.”

Albus swallowed hard. A thousand things were running through his head but all he managed to choke out was: “Yeah, we should.”

\---

And they did.

In the following weeks they managed to snog in empty classrooms, empty corridors and hallways, under staircases and in closets. The shameless grinding became messy handjobs and their kisses were never anything but filthy.

It wasn’t perfect – so far from – but it was still amazing. And Albus caught himself looking for Scorpius every time he walked into the Great Hall or whenever he spotted James in a crowd. He began to notice just how handsome the other boy was; he knew that he himself was considered to be beautiful by quite a lot of people – there was something both delicate and cheeky about his messy, dark hair and his green, green eyes. Scorpius Hyperion wasn’t as obviously good-looking as Albus but he wore it better. And he was handsome, masculine and charming. He reminded Albus of James in that way and Albus had always admired his brother for his ability to charm girls.  
It wasn’t like he didn’t realize what they were doing was wrong. Not because they were both boys – Albus had come to terms with that when Scorpius started talking about blowing him in the prefect bathroom – but because of one problem: Melanie Longbottom.

She was practically family to the Potter children and her father, Professor Longbottom, was Albus’ godfather so, yeah, all in all it totally wasn’t a good idea to make out with Melanie’s boyfriend whenever and wherever they could do so without being seen.

Albus wanted to stop, wanted to tell Scorpius that this couldn’t continue. He didn’t want to hurt Melanie, he didn’t want to lie to his siblings and cousins about where he was or what he was doing, he wanted it to be as simply as Scorpius had promised it would be, but it just wasn’t. And it kept Albus awake at night, made it hard for him to concentrate and he was doing poorly in at least two classes already, he couldn’t afford to drop behind any further. He hadn’t properly talked to Hugo for a long time and he was frightened his younger cousin thought Albus might’ve grown tired of him – he hadn’t!

And every day when he woke up he promised himself that today would be the day he’d finally confront Scorpius. It was all rather simple, really: him or Melanie. Stop lying. Stop pretending everything is okay when it’s not. That’s what he wanted to say – those words – but then…

Then Scorpius showed up in the corridors, walked with him to charms or potions and pushed him into empty classrooms to have a quick snog before having to face their professors. And when pressed up against a wall, with Scorpius’ slender fingers on his face or his waist or tangled into his wild hair, his lips kissing him raw and his tongue tasting his lower lip – well, then it was hard to concentrate on anything but how amazing it felt, right in that very moment, and to just forget about what would follow.

And even now, with Scorpius right there, Albus didn’t say anything. Because truth be told: he was terrified.

So when Scorpius kissed the corner of his mouth and let his fingers tangle into his messy, black hair, all Albus did was smile and lean forward until his forehead touched the taller boy’s shoulder. He felt Scorpius’ arm wrap around him and Albus inhaled deeply, dwelling in the wonderful smell that was Scorpius Malfoy.

“James asked me if I wanted to spend Christmas with you guys,” Scorpius mumbled while he drew circles on Albus’ back with his long, white fingers.

“Yeah?” Albus mumbled back.

“Yeah. I told him I’d have to ask my father but I don’t think he’ll care much.” Scorpius shrugged. “I just wanted to check with you too.”

Albus leaned back out of the embrace and watched the other boy with furrowed eyebrows. “Me? Why do you want to check with me first?”

Scorpius smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes; in fact it looked sad and almost forced. With a sigh he stepped back and leaned against the wall behind him. He looked tired, exhausted almost. Albus swallowed hard and when Scorpius sat down, he followed. They sat next to each other, shoulders touching, without saying anything for a moment or two.

“I just didn’t want you to be uncomfortable,” Scorpius finally said. “You know, with what we’re doing.”

“Yeah,” Albus breathed. He could barely hear anything, his heart was hammering that hard in his throat, and he clenched his fists until his fingernails dug into his palms painfully. He should say something. He should demand Scorpius to stop fucking about, he should not let the other boy use him like this – he was a bloody mistress and he shouldn’t allow that. He should…

“Albus?”

“Yes?”

“You know I like you, right? A lot.”

Albus could feel his heart stop in his chest for a split second before it resumed its constant drumming. “Okay,” he finally said.

“What, you don’t like me?” Scorpius said and smirked amused as he leaned down and pressed his nose against Albus’ cheek. “You smell nice, have I ever told you that?"

“You’re a dimwit,” Albus told him and Scorpius laughed. And then, before could say anything else, he continued: “I like you too. A lot, actually.”

When Scorpius spoke again Albus could hear the smile in his voice: “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Scorpius carefully placed his hand on Albus’ face and moved it so the shorter boy was facing Scorpius. Dull grey met bright green and Scorpius smiled when he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Albus’. Immediately the dark-haired boy kissed back. Albus tilted his head and placed a hand behind Scorpius’ neck to pull him further down. Their lips parted and their tongues touched and Albus felt firework in his stomach.

For a long while they did nothing but kiss. Then Scorpius grabbed Albus by the waist and pulled him over so he was sitting in Scorpius’ lap. Albus couldn’t help but gasp and Scorpius used the brief distraction to move his lips to his neck. He kissed and sucked his way down his neck towards his shoulder.

Albus moaned and breathed heavily when Scorpius licked his collarbones. Then Albus pulled back enough that Scorpius had to stop kissing his beautiful, pale skin. Albus looked at the irritated frown on Scorpius face and couldn’t help but laugh gently before he moved in again, this time so he could return the favor: he placed feather light kisses down Scorpius’ face, along his jawline and down his neck and when Albus heard Scorpius’ breathe hitch he couldn’t help but smirk in victory.

“Albus,” Scorpius whispered and moaned and Albus just smirked wider. He moved further and further down until he could push Scorpius all the way down on his back. Albus’ fingers ran along the inside of Scorpius’ thigh and the blond boy hissed and closed his eyes.

Albus, encouraged by the reactions he could pull out of the taller one, placed himself between his legs and, with a hand on each side of his handsome face, hovered over him. Scorpius’ eyes fluttered open and he smiled before he grabbed Albus’ by the neck and pulled him down for another messy kiss full of tongue and teeth and moans. He wrapped a leg around Albus’ torso and their bodies started rocking together. Albus was already painfully hard and he could feel that Scorpius was as well. It wouldn’t take long before they both came with the rough rhythm they were keeping. He was panting heavily into Scorpius open mouth.

“God, Albus,” Scorpius said and arched his back up. Every time their pricks touched they both moaned loudly. “God, Albus – just, oh my god.”

“Scorpius,” Albus whispered and kissed the corner of his mouth. “Scorpius.”

They moved faster, harder and it became messy and desperate but they didn’t care and when they came it was almost in sync. It took all of Albus’ willpower to not just collapse flat against Scorpius but roll over so they lay next to each other on the cold floor in the closet.

They panted for breath and none of them said anything. Their jeans were filthy and their lips swollen but they didn’t care, couldn’t find it in them to think about anything but the smell of sweat and the taste of someone else in their mouth.

“I have to go,” Scorpius finally said after what felt like hours. “I have a date with Melanie in an hour and I should really shower first.”

Albus felt as if it someone grabbed his heart in their bare hands and squeezed it. He closed his eyes and didn’t say anything. Next to him he heard Scorpius get up and mumble the cleaning spell. Albus felt the come disappear but he didn’t dare open his eyes. It wasn’t until Scorpius’ rough lips gently touched his that he forced his eyes open. Scorpius stood back up and looked down at the green-eyed boy beneath him.

“I’ll see you later,” Scorpius said before he turned around and left.

Albus waited till he sure the boy was really gone and wouldn’t come back before he let the one, single tear he had in his eye fall down his cheek.

\---

“Hey, so you wouldn’t care if Scorpius came over for Christmas, right?”

Albus looked up from where he’d been studying in the library. James was standing at the other side of the table wearing his usual smirk.

“No,” Albus shrugged, ignoring the lump in his throat. “Why would I?”

“Exactly!” James exclaimed. “That’s the spirit, little one.”

“Don’t call me little – “

“Well, we better prepare ourselves,” James said and looked around as if he was searching for someone.

“What do you mean?” Albus asked suspiciously.

James looked back at him. “Melanie’s spending Christmas with her father this year,” he said as if that explained everything and then went back to searching for whomever.

“I don’t follow you,” Albus said.

James sighed and Albus rolled his eyes. “It means she’ll be most likely come over for at least part of Christmas as well, we should prepare to witness some serious snogging ‘s all I’m saying. So, I’m looking for someone I can bring back – hey who’s that one?”

Albus, feeling as if someone had dropped his body in ice cold water, followed James’ gaze and saw Tiffany Blake with her fellow sixth year Slytherin girls sitting at the table a few feet away. “You can’t just bring home some random girl for Christmas, Jamie,” Albus said but his voice was oddly empty and broke at the end.

James, oblivious to his brother’s struggles, shrugged and looked back down at the other. “I got to get going,” James said. “Oh and Scorp told me to give you this.” He gave Albus a note and Albus took it without even looking at it. James gave the Slytherin girls one last look before he left the library again. Albus swallowed hard and opened the note.

“Astronomy tower tonight” it said.

Albus closed his eyes and crumbled the note before getting up and leaving.

\---

There’d once been a time when James Potter didn’t much like Scorpius Malfoy because, well, because of the history between their fathers. His hatred toward the other boy had lasted exactly one train ride and then it had vanished completely. When Scorpius was sorted into Gryffindor James saw it as proof that the boy was worth befriending – and he did just that.

Later their biggest worry had been what their parents would say to their friendship. Uncle Ron didn’t like it at first, especially since also Rose seemed to have become close to the blond boy as well, but with time even he had to admit that Scorpius wasn’t Draco. Harry hadn’t said anything but “sure, that sounds fine, Jamie” when the oldest Potter boy had told his parents he was bringing back Scorpius Malfoy to spend a week with them over the summer holidays. Ginny, on the other hand, hadn’t been very pleased and no one could really blame her. Malfoy’s grandfather had almost caused her death when she was just eleven years old. But then she’d met Scorpius and that was about all it took.

Scorpius was witty and smart, he cared for his friends and family. He was a “good boy” as grandma Weasley would say but he was also sneaky and sometimes ruthless and selfish. He hadn’t had to work hard for anything before and sometimes, when he didn’t get what he wanted, he got irritable and angry. He had a temper but he didn’t shout – he was a Malfoy – he only snickered and spoke with cruelty in his voice. He had the bravery of a Gryffindor and the occasional insecurity of a Malfoy but all in all he’d been approved of by the Potter’s.

Harry had, he later admitted to his sons and daughter, thought Draco wouldn’t allow Scorpius to stay with them and when James had told this to the blond boy he’d just laughed and said: “My father lets me do what I want so long as I’m happy,” and that’d been it, really. The Potter/Malfoy rivalry had been put out that easily and was rarely ever brought up again.

As Albus made his way to the Astronomy Tower he found himself wishing his father had forbid James to speak to Scorpius or that Uncle Ron had been better at warning them about him or that Mr. Malfoy wouldn’t let Scorpius befriend a Potter, because then Albus wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.

With a sigh he reached the top step. He knew he had no one to blame for this mess. No one but himself – and maybe also Malfoy, who was lying on his back, arms folded behind his head. He was looking up at the clear, dark sky above him and Albus allowed himself to just look at him for a second or two before he stepped forward and cleared his throat.  
Scorpius sat up immediately and looked at him. “Hey you,” he said. “Wasn’t sure you’d come.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Albus asked as he walked toward the other boy. He sat down next to him and looked up at the sky as well. When he felt Scorpius’ lips brush against his cheek his didn’t even flinch, he just smirked and leaned closer to the boy, who took the hint and opened his mouth to kiss his jawline.

They didn’t talk – didn’t have to. Or maybe there just wasn’t anything to say at this point? Nevertheless, Albus moved his head so his lips met Scorpius’ and then he kissed him hard and merciless before he crawled over so he was situated in Scorpius’ lap. He tangled his fingers into Scorpius’ hair without breaking off the kiss. Scorpius placed his hands on Albus’ waist and kissed back just as desperately.

“Albus – “ Scorpius moaned and threw his head back when Albus’ lips moved to his ear.

“What do you want, Scorp?” he whispered and took the earlobe into his mouth.

“Everything, Merlin – just, anything, please.” Scorpius grabbed his face and pulled him down for another heated kiss and Albus couldn’t help but chuckle against his lips.

“Okay,” Albus finally said when they broke apart again. He swallowed hard and before he could second guess what he was doing he pulled back and pushed Scorpius down on his back. Then he pushed his knees apart and crawled in between his long legs. With a hammering heart and slightly trembling fingers he pulled down Scorpius’ trousers. He heard Scorpius hiss in surprise and looked up questioning.

“Yes,” Scorpius said and nodded feverishly. “Yes, please, Albus.”

Albus nodded as well and pushed the trousers all the way down. Then he rubbed Scorpius’ already hard prick with his palm, loving the sight of Scorpius’ eyes fluttering close and his mouth opening in a silent moan, before he pulled down his boxers down as well. Another hiss escaped Scorpius’ lips but this time Albus didn’t look up for confirmation; he knew he had it already. He leaned down, steadying himself with one hand on Scorpius’ bare thigh, until his lips were millimeters away from the head. He pressed a tender kiss to the head and Scorpius shuddered and curled his hands into fists. Albus, not entirely sure what he was even doing, licked a stripe from the base of the cock and all the way up the head before he took it carefully into his mouth.

The pre-come tasted bitter in his mouth but he didn’t care when he could get Scorpius to moan and swear loudly. Albus moved further down and tried to relax his gag-reflex while stroking the rest of the cock with his free hand. When Albus had managed to swallow almost all of Scorpius he felt the urge to throw up as his gag-reflex reacted and he pulled back a bit but didn’t let go. Then he started moving up and down and stroked what he couldn’t get into his mouth.

Scorpius gasped and cursed and it didn’t take long before he reached out and took a hold of Albus’ hair, yanking it painfully. Albus had to resist the urge to force the hand away and instead let Scorpius hold onto it. It was difficult to breath and Albus had to constantly remind himself to relax but it was worth it all when he heard Scorpius beg and moan and hiss. Albus couldn’t help but moan himself and the sound obviously did something to Scorpius who made this odd noise in the back of his throat.

“Oh shit, Albus I’m going to – “ Scorpius jerked his hips so suddenly Albus choked and felt his eyes water but still he didn’t pull away and a few seconds later Scorpius was coming hard in his mouth.

Albus squeezed his eyes close and swallowed around the cock, feeling a bit of come leak from his mouth and down his face.

He pulled back when Scorpius let go of his hair. Albus sat back up and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. Scorpius had his eyes closed, breathing heavily for a moment before he inhaled sharply and sat up and pulled his trousers back on.

“God, Albus,” he muttered before he pulled the boy in for a messy kiss. Albus knew Scorpius could taste himself in his mouth and the thought aroused Albus more than it probably should have. He wanted to taste himself on Scorpius too, wanted to see the boy between his legs, wanted to –

“ _Fuck_ ,” Scorpius mumbled against Albus lips. “Salazar, the things I want to do you.”

With his breath caught in his throat Albus said: “Do it.”

Scorpius, pulling back a bit, looked at the other boy with furrowed eyebrows. “Al.”

“Do it, please,” Albus repeated. “Please, Scorpius – “

“Yeah,” Scorpius whispered. And then he fell to his knees and Albus hissed. Scorpius carefully opened his trousers and pulled them down before he kissed the prick against the boxers. Albus squeezed his eyes and bit down on his lower lip not to say anything else that would make him look like a bloody fool but Merlin how he wanted everything that Scorpius would give him.

Scorpius took his time working his palm over the soft material and Albus wanted to tell him to stop being a fucking tease but every time he dared to open his mouth, he moaned shamelessly. Finally, just when Albus thought he’d lose it and come before Scorpius had even managed to properly do anything, he pulled down the boxers and placed a light kiss against the head. At this point Albus had to restrain himself so he wouldn’t just jerk his hips forward and force his prick into the other boy’s mouth.

Scorpius opened his mouth and lowered his head. Albus moaned, throwing his head back before he looked down at the boy and caught Scorpius’ grey eyes looking at him. God, it was amazing, nothing like Albus had ever thought it would be. Scorpius moved slower and more carefully than Albus had at first but then it got faster and less rhythmically and in the end Albus couldn’t help himself; he yanked at Scorpius hair and when he came – without warning – his hips jerked and he heard Scorpius choke and cough in surprise.

Scorpius didn’t pull away, just swallowed Albus’ come before he stood back up with a cheeky smirk on his wet lips. Albus looked at him – really looked at him – and he could get hard again just by the sight.

“Sorry,” he said as he pulled his trousers back up.

“It’s okay,” Scorpius told him, stepping forward. “I got a bit carried away as well when Mel gave me my first blowjob.”

Albus felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach and instead of meeting Scorpius for a filthy kiss, he stepped back and looked away. It hurt, all of the sudden; his heart, his head, his limps, his mouth, everything just hurt.

“Hey,” Scorpius said confused and reached out but Albus took another step back until he almost hit the reeling. Suddenly the air felt very cold and he wished he had brought a jacket or jumper – or just hadn’t shown up at all.

“What’s wrong?” Scorpius demanded with his furrowed eyebrows.

Albus swallowed before he shook his head and walked past the boy.

“Hey!”

Scorpius grabbed Albus’ arm and twisted him around so they were face to face. Albus had his jawline clenched and mouth shut close. Scorpius was watching him with a confused look in his grey eyes.

“What happened?” the taller one asked but Albus just shook his head and tried to step back. “Al!”

“Let go of me,” Albus hissed and looked away, angry tears ready to leak from his green eyes. “Now.”

“Tell me what happened – “

“Why do you always have to do that?” Albus shouted when he couldn’t help it anymore.

Everything hurt.

“Do what?” Scorpius asked puzzled.

“Mention her!” Albus continued as he struggled with Scorpius hold. “You always ruin everything, you know that?”

“Me?” Scorpius said and finally let go so suddenly Albus stumbled away. “You’re the one getting all worked up over my – “

“Your girlfriend!” Albus interrupted him. “I’m sorry I’m not very comfortable talking about her. Hey, maybe I should go down to meet her, right? We could exchange funny little anecdotes on how it is to suck your cock!”

Scorpius entire face paled and he looked as if he was ready to actually hit Albus. “Don’t you dare,” he growled.

“Don’t I dare, what?” Albus said without missing a beat.

“Don’t you _dare_ make this about me. This is just as much, you know. You want this too – “

“But I don’t have a girlfriend!” Albus shouted, the first tear falling from his eyes. He looked away before Scorpius could see it. He didn’t want his pity, he didn’t want his praise; he wanted him to choose him over Melanie but the sad truth was that he never would. “God, sometimes I just wish…”

“What?” Scorpius asked in a calmer tone but Albus just shook his head and took a step away from the boy. “Albus, come on – why are we even fighting?”

Albus couldn’t decide if he wanted to scream or throw up. He shook his head again but didn’t turn around. “Just – I’ll go now,” he said and closed his eyes briefly.

“Wait – “ Scorpius began again.

“No,” Albus said and hated how weak his voice sounded all of the sudden. “Just…”

He didn’t finish and he didn’t have to; Scorpius stopped and looked at Albus for a long while before saying: “Okay, you should probably go.”

Albus nodded although he wanted to shout. He wanted Scorpius to refuse to let him go, he wanted Scorpius to fight for him, he wanted Scorpius to tell him, that he didn’t want to him to leave, but instead all Al got was “okay”.

“Okay” would never be enough for Albus so he walked down the steps of the Astronomy Tower before he could do or say anything else.

\---

The next few days were terrible. He woke up in the morning and felt miserably and alone. Patrick would ask what the hell was wrong with him and Albus would say that everything was fine, before grabbing his robe and leaving. Then he’d have breakfast with Hugo where he tried to pay attentions to the never-ending stream of words leaving his cousin’s mouth while he attempted not to look over at the Gryffindor table. And if he did look and he saw James chatting with Fred and Scorpius or saw Scorpius kiss Melanie on the cheek, Albus felt sick all over again and he’d push his plate away without touching the food.

It’s hard to say for how long he would’ve been able to walk around in his haze, hating just about everything in life because he had to share two classes with Scorpius – spending them trying not to look at him or kiss him or anything alike – and therefor also two classes with Rose who was starting to really sense something was bothering Albus. As it was, he only got to drown in self-pity and pumpkin-juice for three days because on Friday something happened:

He was sitting in the Great Hall with Hugo. They were playing wizard chess (Albus was losing, obviously) and discussing which new broom Hugo should beg Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione to buy him, when Hugo suddenly groaned and furrowed his eyebrows.

Albus, who’s been gazing at the sky above them reflected in loft, looked at his cousin, worried he’d done something wrong or that Hugo had finally snapped and had enough of his lousy behavior. But as it turned out Hugo wasn’t even looking at him – instead he was staring at the Slytherin table at the other end of the hall.

“What’s the matter?” Albus asked confused.

“He’s doing it again,” Hugo mumbled without looking at Albus.

“Who’s doing what?”

“Finnigan.”

Albus looked from his cousin toward the Slytherin table where he caught sight of the fifth year quidditch seeker. He was talking to his younger sister, Danielle Finnigan-Thomas – a first year Gryffindor, probably helping her with her homework.

“What exactly is Finnigan doing?” Albus asked as he turned back to Hugo.

“Looking at you,” Hugo said and shook his head before looking down at the chess board with a sigh.

“Looking… at me?” Albus repeated slowly, like he hadn’t heard Hugo’s words.

“Yeah, looking at you. I think he fancies you,” Hugo said before completely destroying Albus’ queen. “Check mate.”

“Wait, why exactly do you think he – how did you reach this conclusion, Hugo?” Albus said in a demanding tone.

“Well,” Hugo said. “Lily happened to talk to his baby sister one afternoon in the common room. Me and Rose were there, she was helping me with my charm essay, you know the one I’d been struggling with for a month? Well Lily was there and talking to Danielle for some reason and I just heard Lily mention Peter and then, I don’t know, Danielle giggled or something and you were brought up and I think the word ‘fancies’ as well.” Hugo shrugged before looking toward the Slytherin table. When Albus looked over as well he caught Finnigan’s big, brown eyes and the boy smiled and, bloody hell, winked.

“See, I told you he fancies you,” Hugo mumbled. “Just tell him you’re not gay and he’ll probably leave it be.”

“I don’t want to tell him that,” Albus said before he could stop himself. His face was bright red and he swallowed hard but it didn’t seem to do anything to the lump in his throat.

“Why not?” Hugo asked confused. “Do you want him to fancy you? I don’t get it, Al, why – “

“I’m gay, Hugo.”

Dead silence followed his sudden words and Albus already regretted opening his big mouth.

Fuck.

Bloody hell.

“Hugo – “ he said, ready to try and lie, say it was some sort of joke or whatever, when Hugo interrupted: “Is that why you’ve been acting all strange this week?”

Albus bit down on his lower lip, looking down. He could feel his heart beat way too fast in his chest and he couldn’t do anything to slow it down to a less painful rate. “Yeah,” he finally whispered, still not looking up.

“Oh bloody hell, I thought it was something important! Like, maybe you’d decided you wanted to drop out or move to France or – “

“Hugo,” Albus said and the boy stopped his ranting. “Are you okay with this?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked, face serious and his tone light but not teasing.

Albus inhaled, feeling the air fill his starving lungs. “Thank you,” he said and smiled.

“Of course, Al. I love you no matter what, you know that right?” Hugo clicked his tongue irritated, as if Albus’ distrust confused him deeply. “Have you told the others?”

“No,” Albus groaned and look down at his fingers twisting in his lap. “Not yet.”

“Well,” Hugo said as he stood up, “maybe you should, they’re worried about you too.”

\---

And so he spend the rest of weekend not-worrying about Scorpius and what he was or wasn’t doing with his stupid, bloody girlfriend but instead worried over how to tell his parents, siblings and cousins that he was gay. Hugo would roll his eyes and tell him to just get it over with but Albus would growl that it wasn’t that easy.

“Yes it is,” Hugo said from the couch in the common room. “Just say it.”

“When?” Albus sneered.

“Now.”

“Don’t be an arse, I can’t just tell them!”

With a deep sigh Hugo rose from his position and walked past Albus into his dormitory just to return a few seconds later.

“Come on,” he said. “We are going to the party.”

“What party?” Albus asked as he got up and followed the other boy outside.

“The Ravenclaw one,” Hugo answered. “You need a drink.”

Albus was just about to argue but realized Hugo was probably right and agreed with a huff and a shrug. Hugo grinned and guided them through the castle to the Ravenclaw tower.  
There they stood helplessly for a few minutes unable to answer the stupid, bloody riddle to gain entrance, before a second year finally arrived back from the library and agreed on getting them in if they’d get her some of the punch she wasn’t allowed to touch. When safely inside they quickly got rid of the girl without handing her any form for alcohol.

“Mum would be so proud of us,” Hugo said. “Not giving any little girls alcohol poisoning today.”

They looked around at the crowded common room but couldn’t locate anyone they needed to talk to so they grabbed a glass of the spiked punch and sat down on one of couches. Albus took a big slurp of the drink and felt it burn through his throat and into his stomach. He resisted the urge to cough and took another sip.

“Hey, look, it’s James and Rose. And Freddie and Molly and Louis and Melanie and Scorpius – “

“Oh bloody hell,” Albus groaned and turned to see the entire Gryffindor gang enter the common room. Rose, Lucy and Louis were talking and laughing, James had his arm slung around his best friend’s shoulder and Scorpius had his fingers intertwined with Melanie’s.

“What? Hey guys, over here!” Hugo shouted and waved his hands. Closing his eyes and groaning into his drink he quickly emptied the sharp liquor and got up to get some more.

“Hugo! Albus! Hey, hey, hey,” James sang and walked toward them. “Fancy seeing you here, I thought you said you were going to finish your potion essay?”

“Al needed a drink,” Hugo explained.

“Seriously? Better get him one then.” James grinned widely and Albus was debating whether or not their mother would maybe cut down on his Christmas presents if he broke his brother’s nose right there and then. “Come on, Albus.”

Before he could protest too loudly James had an arm around his neck and was walking him over to the punch. Loud music was pouring out from somewhere and people were just tipsy enough to start dance awkwardly and talk too loudly; practically yelling to each other.

Five minutes later he had another drink in his hands that he emptied just as quickly as the previous one. He made the mistake to look for Hugo and found him sitting next to Rose and Scorpius. Suddenly Albus didn’t feel like talking to anyone from his family – ever again.

“Hey,” he heard a voice say and he turned on his heals abruptly and was face to face with Peter Dean Finnigan-Thomas.

“Hey,” Albus said with a weak smile. He’d met Peter and his sister a few times during his childhood when his fathers, Dean and Seamus, had visited Harry and Ginny.

“I saw you in the Great Hall yesterday,” Finnigan said and smiled friendly.

“Yeah, I saw you too,” Albus said and willed himself to smile and look interested. Finnigan was nice and good-looking. He was tall, broad-shouldered. His skin was dark and close to perfection. He had big, dark-brown eyes and a buzz cut. He was a seeker as well and top of his class. He was cunning like any good Slytherin, ambitious and sneaky, but also calm and funny. He never did anything in a fit of rage and had, as far as Albus knew, never been in a fight with anyone during his time at Hogwarts.

“Did you now,” Finnigan said and smirked before adjusting his weight to stand more casually.

“You were with your sister,” Albus shouted over the loud music.

“I was. Helping her with some school work.”

“That’s really nice of you,” Albus said. “I never did anything like for Lily.”

"I’m a nice person, Albus Severus,” Finnigan said, his smirk only growing wider and more cheeky by the minute. Albus couldn’t decide whether he wanted to run and hide or if he wanted to just attach Finnigan’s beautiful lips there and then.

“I’m sure you are, Peter Dean,” Albus said and the other boy threw his head back and laughed.

“Want another drink?” he asked and pointed at the empty glass in Albus’ hands.

“Yeah, why not?” Albus said and handed the other boy his glass. He gave Finnigan a quick smile before he turned around and caught Hugo’s eyes. The boy was nodding furiously and making not-so-subtly motions with his hands, gesturing for Albus to go join Peter once again. Albus rolled his eyes but couldn’t but smile as well. That was when his gaze wandered on and he met grey, stormy eyes.

Albus inhaled sharply and kept staring at Scorpius, neither of them moving or even blinking. It wasn’t until Finnigan returned that Albus tore his eyes off of the other boy. When he looked back a few seconds later Scorpius was making out with Melanie and Albus felt his blood boil in his veins. He took another sip of the sharp alcohol and loved how it burned his body even further.

When Peter leaned in further Albus didn’t second guess it but just leaned forward as well. They didn’t kiss; there were still millimeters between them but they were definably close. The other boy was talking about school and his fathers and his sister and quidditch and the essays he had to write the next day and every now and again he threw in a random joke that made Albus laugh – maybe a little louder than normally. Peter wasn’t half bad, actually entertaining if not a bit predictable. Albus might’ve liked him if it wasn’t for bloody Scorpius Malfoy. He could feel Malfoy’s eyes on him and he couldn’t decide if he hated or loved it. He drowned all of his worries in more alcohol and the more he drank the funnier Peter seemed.

“What’s the matter with you?” he heard James shout over the music and out of the corner of his eyes he saw his brother look at Malfoy with a frown.

Scorpius just shook his head and kissed Melanie on the cheek. The next sip of punch was bitter and Albus knew it had nothing to do with the drink and everything to do with one blond boy.

“Hey, I was wondering,” Peter said and Albus look to him again. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Are you – I mean, are you gay?” Peter inhaled sharply before continuing: “I was just wondering if you’d like to go on a date with me?”

Albus clenched his jaw; the music was too loud and his blood full of poison. He could hear his cousins’ and siblings’ loud laughter and all around him people were either dancing or making out. Without thinking about it he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Peter’s.

He didn’t care that half his family was right and could see him, he didn’t care that he wasn’t anywhere near in love with Peter, who returned the kiss eagerly. In fact he didn’t care about anything but the furious look in Scorpius’ eyes. He caught the grey eyes across the room before he closed his own bright green ones and grabbed Peter by the waist.

It felt like hours but it was probably just minutes before they pulled apart. And that’s when he realized that his family was looking at him – as well as a good part of the other people in the common room.

Rose and Molly both just stared at him with wide eyes and half-open mouths. Louis and Freddy looked like they were about to start cheering, big, cheeky grins on their faces. Lily, despite her surprised eyes, was beaming. And James – James seemed to be frozen, expression unreadable.

And Scorpius –

Albus met Scorpius eyes yet again and time seemed to just stop for a second. They looked at one another, the music drowned everything around them, and for a second no one did anything. Then Peter placed his hand gently on Albus’ shoulder and a shiver ran down his spine and the world started spinning.

Louis and Fred finally gave into their urges and started cheering and clapping, a few of the others in the common room joining in. People started talking again, started dancing and snogging and Peter gave Albus’ shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Scorpius, his grey eyes storming, turned around then and marched out of the common room. Fred and Louis stopped their shouting to look at him surprised. Lily shouted that he should come back but he didn’t even turn to look back.

“Are you okay?” Peter whispered into Albus’ ear.

“Yeah,” he whispered back; his voice was rough and heavy. He felt tired, all of the sudden, and the weight of the alcohol was beginning to settle into his body, making him feel nauseous and weak.

He allowed himself to close his eyes for a brief second and when he opened them again his younger sister was standing in front of him. She smiled widely and reached out to wrap her arms around him. Albus felt himself relax into her gentle touch, felt some of his fear disappear. Lily had accepted him, Hugo – who was in the corner rolling his eyes and shaking his head but wearing an amused smile – had accepted him, Fred and Louis had obviously accepted him and, by the looks of it, Molly and Rose, who were walking toward them, had also accepted him if their laughter and bright smiles were anything to go by.

“Oh, Al, why didn’t you tell us?” Lily muttered while holding onto him tightly.

“I don’t know,” he lied and returned the embrace. “I’m sorry – “

“Don’t apologize,” Lily said sharply. “Don’t ever apologize, Albus Severus Potter.”

“Okay,” he whispered. “I love you,” he added.

“I love you too, you idiot,” she said and kissed him on the cheek.

Rose and Molly nodded and hugged him. Rose’s arms lingered around his shoulders longer than normally and she squeezed him tighter than she usually would.  
“Where did Scorpius go?” Fred shouted as he joined them, Louis in a tow.

Albus clenched his jaw but didn’t answer, instead he allowed himself to lean into Peter’s gentle touch. The atmosphere tensed almost instantly. Louis and Fred looked at each other for a long time, Rose bit her lip and Molly looked down at her fingers.

“What – are you telling me that the little fucker – “

“Lily!” Albus scowled his younger sister.

“He probably just needed some air,” Fred said but his voice was higher than usual and not even Louis tried to back him up. An anything but comfortable silence spread between the teenagers and Albus looked away from the worried gazes.

He saw James watching them a few feet away, his entire face red with – was that anger? Was James angry at Albus? Or someone else?

Behind James stood Melanie looking awkward and alone and Albus felt a boom of happiness though he knew he wasn’t being fair; none of this was her fault, just the opposite.

“Maybe I should go look for him, yeah?” Louis suggested in a low murmur.

“Yeah, I’ll go with you – “

“Don’t bother,” James’ sharp tone cut off his cousins. Before anyone could react to James’ harsh words the boy had turned around and disappeared as well.

“Oh,” Albus said, feeling as though his blood was pounding too fast, too loud, too painfully. “I think I’ll just go now.”

“Albus, are you okay?” Rose asked concerned.

“Yeah,” he whispered without looking at her. “I just need to go.”

All of the Weasleys stepped back and allowed their cousin to step away.

“Wait, Albus,” Peter called behind him. Albus looked over his shoulder and saw the look of distress and pity reflected in Peter’s beautiful eyes.

“I’m sorry, I have to go – “

“I still really want to go on that date,” Peter interrupted seriously. “Just so you know.”

Albus managed a weak smile and a brief nod. “Okay.”

Peter allowed himself a gentle smile before he reached forward and brushed his lips against Albus’. “Goodnight.”

“Yeah, goodnight,” Albus said before he turned and left.

\---

“Albus? Al, are you awake?”

Albus groaned and rolled over so he was facing Hugo standing in the doorway. “Yeah, what do you want?”

“James is here,” the redhead spoke in a tender, thoughtful tone so different from his usual ranting one.

Albus sat up abruptly as if he’d been struck by lightning and he felt his heart rate pick up immediately. He caught his cousin’s eyes and for a second he saw pity reflected in them – so overwhelming it almost made Albus choke. Instead he nodded and got out.

“How are you?” Hugo asked as Albus dressed.

“Been better,” Albus answered truthfully as his head pounded and throbbed with every move he made.

“I can imagine,” Hugo snorted. Then he stepped aside a let Albus walk into common room.

James was standing in front of the fire, his shoulders hanging low and his head bent. He looked like a soldier freshly returned from the brutal war.

“Jamie?” he said, voice breaking.

His brother spun around and looked at his younger sibling. James’ light brown eyes were – sad, Albus realized surprised. The boy looked tormented and tired and above all he looked like he was ready to cry or scream.

“What happened to you?” Albus asked because it seemed appropriate.

James smirked and shook his head. “I had to do something,” he mumbled without meeting his brother’s sharp gaze.

“Do what?” Albus demanded in a low tone.

“Don’t worry about it,” James snapped irritated. “Just – “ He made some wild hand gestures before sighing deeply. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he finally spoke.

Albus looked down, unable to meet his brother’s eyes, and shrugged. “I thought…” he said without finishing his thought.

“You thought what?”

“Nothing,” Albus said.

“ _Liar_ ,” James practically shouted. “You thought I wouldn’t accept you, didn’t you?”

“No!” Albus snapped back, only half lying. “I thought – I thought you might be angry with me or disappointed in me or – “

“God fucking dammit, Albus!” James shouted frustrated. “I’m your brother! Why the fuck would I – just – dammit Albus!”

His brother’s desperate outburst left Albus somewhat stunned and he stared at him wordlessly for a long while.

“Are you angry with me?” he finally asked carefully as he stepped forward.

“Yes,” James roared. “No. Maybe, yeah I am. You should have bloody told me, Al!”

“I should,” Albus agreed with a serious node. “And I’m sorry.”

James inhaled and Albus saw the motion make his back straighten and his shoulder rise. “Okay,” he spoke. “It’s okay.”

“Now what the hell happened to you?” Albus asked again.

“Nothing,” James sneered just as before. “Told you I just had something I needed to do.”

Albus took a step back again and he couldn’t decide if he was hurt or angry: “You’re still angry with me.”

“Of course I am!” James shouted. “But I just need some time to cool down, you know me,” he snapped before clenching his jawline. “You should write to mom and dad,” he then said, “before someone else tells them.”

"Yeah,” Albus whispered and looked down at the carpet.

“Hey,” James said in his ‘big-brother-voice’ and walked up to Albus, wrapping an arm around his shoulders; something he hadn’t done in years – not like this anyway. “They’ll love you no matter what, you know that right?”

Albus wanted to say ‘yes’ but he couldn’t choke out the words because of the huge lump in his throat and the stinging sensation in his eyes. He closed them to cut off the stream of tears and James’ embrace tightened. Albus let himself fall against his brother’s strong frame and James rested his chin on Albus’ hair and the younger boy almost gave up his battle with the sobs.

“I just – “ he finally said. “I just don’t want to – “

“You could never disappoint them,” James promised. “You could never disappoint them or me or Lily or anyone else, Al, never.”

Albus nodded against his brother and James squeezed him once more before letting go and taking a step back. Albus wiped away his tears with his sleeve and looked back up at James who had his eyebrows furrowed as he examined Albus.

“I got to go,” James informed him, “but I’ll talk to you later, yeah? Oh, and Al? Good luck with Peter,” he added with a cheeky wink before he left the common room, leaving Albus utterly alone again before Hugo rejoined him.

“So that went well,” the redhead stated and sat down.

“It did,” Albus smiled. “I wonder why James looked so worn out though, it can’t all be because of me, can it?”

“I hear Scorp and him got into a fight,” Hugo said.

“What?” Albus exclaimed and sat up straighter. “Are you _shitting_ me?”

“What? No they really did.”

“Why? They are best mates – “

“Because of you.”

Albus froze, features blank and his entire face lifeless. “Because of me?” he repeated.

“Yeah. James saw Scorpius leaving after the big announcement and assumed Scorp didn’t approve of, you know, you, and James went after him. When he confronted him all Scorpius did was shout some nonsense about James not getting shit and that he should stay out of his way. He was very upset, Scorpius was. But so was James and he punched him, right in the face. Broke his nose and lip. Told him to stay the fuck away until he’d decided not to be such a homophobic shithead.”

“Are you seriously not shitting me?” Albus asked.

“Seriously not.”

“Oh – okay.” Albus was up and leaving before Hugo had gotten up from the couch.

“Where’re you going?” he shouted after him.

“Have to check something!” Albus called back before leaving.

\---

He found Scorpius in the library. Albus had first been to the Gryffindor common room but when he’d mentioned he was looking for Scorpius Rose turned an angry red color and Lily started saying something about ‘’murder’’ and Albus thought it better to leave before they got too worked up.

Then he tried the Great Hall where he met Melanie who told him she hadn’t seen him all day. She told him to try the Ravenclaws but before that he tried the library and there, at the table furthest away from the doorway, sat Scorpius bend over the table, reading a large, leather-bound book.

Albus sat down on the chair next to him and immediately Scorpius’ head snapped up to look at Albus. When he saw the other boy, though, his eyes widened in surprise and then his entire face turned into a grim grimace.

“Potter,” he growled.

“Malfoy.” Albus nodded and leaned back a bit. “Must say I’m lightly disappointed by your looks, I heard you got into a fight with my brother over my virtue.”

Scorpius’ jaw clenched and he met Albus’ eyes with stormy grey ones. “Fuck you,” he spat angrily. “I couldn’t tell him the truth, right? And so that idiot just misinterpreted the whole thing.”

“And what truth is that?” Albus asked, keeping his voice light and almost playful. “That we’ve been fooling around or that you hate to see me with Peter Finnigan even if it was just one, brief kiss.”

“Fuck you,” Scorpius said again, this time not looking up from his book.

“No, fuck _you_ , Scorpius!” Albus’ tone rose but he didn’t give a flying shit. “You can’t just – “

“Just what?” Scorpius interrupted, his voice just as angry. “Just get upset that you’re snogging some skank you just met?”

Albus, red in the face, stood up and looked down at Scorpius. “Why can’t you just admit that you’re jealous of Peter?”

“Because it makes no difference!”

“It makes all the difference?”

“How?”

Albus inhaled and took a step back. There was so much he wanted to say right in that moment but he swallowed the words and clenched his fists. “Fuck you,” he whispered instead before he turned around and left the blond boy alone.

\---

By Monday it was all over Hogwarts that Albus Severus Potter was gay, of course. This meant one thing for Albus: he had to write and tell his parents immediately. So the same evening he found himself sitting in the Great Hall at the Hufflepuff table with a piece of paper in front of him and his white owl, Josephine, circling above his head, ready to deliver the letter.

He’d been sitting and staring at the blank paper for almost an hour when Rose sat down next to him. “How are we today, Albus?” she asked.

“Never been better,” he sighed. “How are you?”

“Life has its ups and downs,” she answered. “What are you doing?”

“Writing to my parents.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Albus said and groaned loudly. Then he turned to her and said, before he could change his mind: “Could you tell James to stop acting little a dick? To Scorpius, I mean?”

Rose inhaled sharply. “You don’t have to defend – “

“Believe me I’m not defending anyone,” Albus assured her. “It’s just – James got it wrong, okay? With Scorpius so, you know, he shouldn’t be angry with him… or whatever.”

She looked at him with a frown, but bit her lip as if trying very hard not to say anything else. She watched him for a long time, while Albus stared at the paper instead. He didn’t know what to write, he didn’t how to write it, and he was, truth be told, scared for what his parents would say.

“I’ll tell him,” she said with a sigh and Albus nodded but didn’t look up to meet her gaze. “Al, are you going to tell them?” she asked carefully.

He inhaled sharply followed by a nod. “Yeah,” he mumbled. “Though, I haven’t actually written anything yet. Don’t know what to say exactly.”

“Just tell them the truth,” Rose said instantly. “Plain and simple.”

He glared at her out of the corner of his eyes. “Shall I write ‘dear mom and dad, hope you’re well, by the way I prefer shagging boys over girls. Also James is a prick. With love from Albus’?”

“What has James done now?” Rose asked and leaned back. “Besides protecting your virtue.”

Albus rolled his eyes. “He is still mad at me for not telling him,” he sighed. “Anyway, the letter, Rosie, what am I supposed to tell them?”

Rose leaned forward and in a quick motion Albus could hardly even see snatched the piece of paper out of his grab. “The truth, Severus,” she said mildly irritated before she began to write the letter herself.

“What are you doing?” he asked her as he tried to read what she was writing.

“Saving your arse,” she mumbled and continued without looking up.

“Okay,” he said because he knew that a) she probably was saving his arse and b) when Rose Weasley told you she was helping you, you better accept the help and be bloody grateful and not try to decline it. Albus had learned this early in his life.

“You know, James is not actually angry at you,” Rose said after a second of comfortable silence. “He is mad at himself for not noticing and he’s mad at himself because he thinks it’s his fault you didn’t feel comfortable enough to talk to him about it. Personally I think you are both idiots.”

Albus snorted a laugh. “Thank you, cous.”

“Anytime.”

\---

The gossip about Harry Potter’s youngest son might’ve died down after a few days had it not been for the fact that he was, apparently, dating Peter Finnigan, a handsome Slytherin.

Albus noticed how people were staring and whispering when he entered the Great Hall or the library or any of his classes. Albus would usually turn a bright pink color and look down or towards Scorpius and he’d catch those grey, gorgeous eyes storming with rage. Albus hated the way the blond looked at him – with fire that could consume and ice that would destroy – but he also craved it; craved the attention and the feelings he could provoke in the other boy. It gave Albus a sick rush every time he forced even a glimpse of an emotion out of Scorpius.

He thought about Scorpius too much – practically all the time – and every time he saw him with Melanie it made Albus feel sick and used and broken and so terrible weak and vulnerable. When his parents wrote him it helped him through a few more days, however. Their letter was long and full of love and admiration. They told him over and over again how proud they were of him, how they could never not love him, how it didn’t matter to him if he brought home a girl or a boy. And if Albus cried – just a few, salty tears streaming down his pale cheeks – than that was to be expected, he told himself.

James was angry at him for exactly four days before he finally cracked. He found Albus one morning in the Great Hall and sat down next to him at the Hufflepuff table. Albus looked up from his breakfast and smiled slowly like he was testing the waters.

James sighed dramatically and said: “I give up, I can no longer be angry at you.”

“Is this you admitting you were wrong?” Albus asked amused.

“This is me sucking up my famous Gryffindor courage and letting go of my anger – you better be thankful, you little weasel.”

Albus rolled his eyes. “Oh jeez now I feel so much better, thanks Jamie.”

“Don’t push your luck with your sarcasm,” James warned him.

“You’re right,” Albus admitted and sighed. “I should have told you.”

“Why didn’t you?” James asked.

“I don’t know,” Albus mumbled and looked away from his brother’s sharp eyes. What could he possible tell him? That he’d been afraid James might not have accepted him? Or that he’d been a little too occupied snogging his best friend to worry about coming out?

“Well,” James said, “it hardly matters anymore. You told me, that’s it. Well, told me is probably not the right way to put it. You decided to snog Peter Finnigan rather aggressively.”

Albus glared at him but didn’t say anything.

“Are you dating him?” James continued when his younger brother didn’t say anything.

“No?” Albus said. “I haven’t even talked to him since the party.”

“Haven’t he contacted you?”

“Well,” Albus chewed on his lower lip, “he actually wrote me a letter asking me out on an officially date.”

James threw his head back and laughed loud enough for several people at the other tables to turn and look at them. Albus blushed again and hit James hard on his arm. “Shut up,” he hissed and James swallowed his laughter.

“Are you serious?” he said. “He wrote you a letter?”

“Oh shut up, you,” Albus snarled before he got up. “I have to go to potions, I’ll see you later – “

“Wait!” James said and stood up as well. “Rose told me to tell you I’m not fighting with Scorp any longer.”

Albus pretended that the mention of James’ fellow Gryffindor boy didn’t send a heat of anger, sadness and lust through his body. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” James said. “She told me Scorpius wasn’t, you know, disgusted by you or anything.”

Albus clenched his jaw so tight it hurt his teeth but managed a weak hum in agreement.

“Just thought you should know,” James said. “Scorpius won’t tell me why he ran from the common room and I suppose you won’t either?”

“I have no idea,” Albus lied easily.

James watched him suspiciously but didn’t say push the subject any further. “Fair enough,” he said. “But Albus, if he ever gives you any kind of crap, tell me, okay? Or Peter or anyone else for that matter.”

This time it was Albus’ to throw his head back and laugh. “What, are you protecting my virtue, Jamie?” he asked amused.

“I’m just saying – “

“Thanks brother, but I can fight my own battles, I’m not a girl,” Albus assured him.

“No, but you’re a Hufflepuff and I’m a Gryffindor.” James and Albus stopped by the staircase where Albus was heading down and James up.

“Meaning I’m a pussy?”

“Meaning,” James corrected him, “that you have too big a heart and not enough courage to strike first.”

“It means I don’t – “

“Whatever,” James said before he headed a few steps upstairs. “See you later, baby brother,” and before Albus could shout at him, the boy was already long gone.

\---

Albus and Scorpius managed another week of glaring at each other from a safe distance and generally avoiding each before something happened:

It was Peter’s fault, really. All Peter’s fault. Because he asked Albus out again and Albus was stupid enough – or angry and sad and confused enough – to agree. And of course the rumors of the date were all over Hogwarts before evening.

“I think it’s adorable,” Rose told him.

“Oh, please don’t, Rosie,” Albus mumbled and groaned loudly when they left the charms classroom that same evening.

“What, I think it is!” she protested. “You shouldn’t be embarrassed about – “

“I’m not embarrassed,” Albus argued, “I just wish people weren’t so damn interested in my love life.”

“Oh please, your love life’s the most interesting thing to happen since Louis blew up the potion classroom last year.”

Albus snorted loudly. “Well, I still wish people would stop the damn whispering.”

“Not likely,” Rose told him flatly and Albus gave her another loud sigh as they made their way down the corridor toward the Great Hall. It was when they were about halfway there that Scorpius walked up to them. When Albus saw the boy he was couldn’t decide if he wanted to kiss him or hit him. Or kiss him and then hit him, or hit him and then –

“Potter,” Scorpius said. His voice was hardly anything but a snarl but it sounded exhausted, like Scorpius didn’t have the energy to be angry any more. “Can I have a quick word?”

Albus inhaled quickly debating the pros and cons before nodding stiffly. “Sure,” he said coldly.

“Al, are you sure?” Rose mumbled without looking at Scorpius.

“It’s Scorp, Rosie,” Albus murmured back. “He’s not actually – he’s not – “ Albus sighed and ran a hand through his messy, dark hair. “It’s nothing, we’re just… arguing, it’s nothing important, I promise.”

Rose didn’t look the least bit convinced, but instead of pushing the subject she simply nodded, shot Scorpius a quick death glare and hurried on. Suddenly all alone with Scorpius Albus realized how hard his heart was pounding. Bloody hell.

“She hates me,” Scorpius said, looking at where Rose had been. “She’s been looking about ready to kill me for the last week. If I end up dead I’m blaming you,” he told Albus and finally – god, finally – he turned and looked at Albus, really looked at him for the first time in far too long.

“Okay,” was all Albus said. He didn’t want to have this conversation. He wanted to tell Scorpius to go screw himself – or Melanie – and be done with it.

Scorpius sighed. “Look,” he said. “You’re angry with me, I get that, I’m angry with you too – “

“Merlin’s beard,” Albus sighed, feeling his anger boil inside of him. “Was that what you came here to tell me? Like I haven’t noticed the way you look at me – “

“So you notice me, Potter?” Scorpius asked with a smirk that made Albus’ heart pounder faster and more painfully and made his anger boil again.

“Go fuck yourself,” he told the boy and walked past him when Scorpius caught his arm and turned him around.

“Calm down,” Scorpius said. He was angry too, now, Albus could tell. His grey eyes were darkening, his jaw was clenching, his grip on Albus’ arm was strong and painful, like he was trying to dig his nails into Albus’ skin and break it.

“Let go of me,” Albus hissed.

“Albus, bloody hell, you stupid idiot.” Scorpius didn’t let go, just the opposite; he tightened his grip and pushed Albus back a bit so the boy stumbled into the wall behind him. Albus’ breath caught in his throat; they’d been in this situation too many times before. “You’ve made your point,” Scorpius said, “now quit it.”

Albus was too focused on the way Scorpius was leaning forward for him to actually muster a response. It took longer than it should have for him to break through his haze and hiss: “What are you talking about, Malfoy?”

“Your idiotic date with Finnigan,” Scorpius almost shouted.

Albus’ eyes widened for a short bit before he closed them and shook his head in annoyance. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Your date,” Scorpius said, “I know it’s just so you can prove your point – “

“What _point_?!”

“That I’m fucking jealous of him!”

“Salazar’s beard Malfoy, not everything has to be about you, have you ever considered that?”

Scorpius snickered and leaned closer until Albus’ head hit the wall behind him. “Don’t tell me you like the fool,” he said.

“Maybe I do,” Albus said looking up at the other, taller, handsome boy. Merlin, he was falling hard and merciless for the stupid idiot. “It’s none of your damn business.”

“Of course it’s my business,” Scorpius said.

“How,” Albus said, “is this _any_ of your business?”

Scorpius’ perfect posture broke for just a split second but it was Albus needed; he saw it, and that was good enough. Albus inhaled sharply and couldn’t help but smirk. Scorpius squeezed his eyes and clenched his jaw like it took all of his concentration not to snap and shout.

Albus could hardly hear or feel anything beside his hammering heart. He wanted to yell some more or maybe laugh mockingly or just plainly tell Scorpius to sod off but before he got the change to do any of those things, Scorpius flung himself forward and smashed his lips against Albus.

For a moment Albus didn’t react, too surprised to do anything, but he recovered quickly and it felt like his very blood started running faster in his veins. He kissed back with just as much teeth and tongue as Scorpius kissed him with.

It was angry and fast, it was a bite, there were tongues, it was bloody painful. It was Albus stepping forward and forcing Scorpius to take a step back so he was the one to hit the wall. It was Scorpius grabbing Albus’ face and holding him close. It was Albus pushing a knee between Scorpius’ legs – pleasure mixed with pain. It was Scorpius biting down hard on Albus’ lower lip; it was Albus digging his nails into Scorpius waist. It was Scorpius grabbing Albus’ hair and yanking it merciless. It was rough, hard, teeth hitting, full of moans and hisses.

When Albus finally pulled away to breathe he felt like he’d run a marathon and his lips were pounding. Scorpius looked at him and some of the heated anger he’d kissed him with had disappeared from those shimmering grey eyes.

They were both panting, leaning against the walls, looking at one another. In the end it was Albus who broke the stillness but not the silence. He turned around and left; just like that. Because he knew that if Scorpius kissed him just once more, whether it was light or ferociously, he’d start begging the boy to forget and forgive. And Albus didn’t want that, not honestly.

And Scorpius didn’t call his name or try to make him stop – so Albus kept waking, clenching his fists to stop them from shaking too badly.


	2. Chapter 2

_"I hate and I love you. You ask why I do this? I do not know, but I feel I am tormented"_

– Catullus

 

The problem was that Peter wasn’t a bad person. Albus thought that if he was then maybe he wouldn’t feel so sick by betraying him the way he did. But, because the universe was out to get him, Peter was smart and kind, he had an odd and sometimes rude humor but he never meant any harm and he was as charming and cunning as any Slytherin.

After their first date where they’d met in the kitchen and had sat there drinking hot chocolate while the house elves ran around and found all sorts of chips and cookies, Peter Finnigan started showing up just about everywhere. He was there in the morning when Albus looked up from his plate; he’d see the boy smirk from his Slytherin table and Albus would blush and force himself to return the smile. He was there was there in the afternoon when Albus was studying in the library; he’d sit opposite of him, also studying, or he’d just casually walk past his table, winking when he caught Albus’ green eyes. And he was there in the evening; he’d ask someone to go find Albus in his common room or he’d get one of the firs years to let him or he would have asked Albus to come join him in the kitchen or in the Great Hall and Albus would almost always agree.

And so a few weeks passed by and suddenly Albus realized – and it probably shouldn’t have been such a shock but it honestly was – that he had a boyfriend.

“What’s with that look?” Hugo asked him from the other side of the table where he was eating and reading a book about – of course – quidditch.

Albus cleared his throat and shook his head, too embarrassed to bother explaining anything to Hugo. Instead he looked up and wasn’t at all surprised when he met a pair of big, brown eyes and a charming smirk. He found it increasingly harder to return the glare without feeling on the edge of throwing up. It had nothing to do with Peter who was funny and smart, if not a bit boring at times, and instead had everything to do with stupid, bloody Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy who hadn’t talked to him or even approached him since that day in the hallway. He wasn’t even looking at Albus anymore and it was driving Albus absolutely insane. He tried to ignore it, tried to pretend that he was totally over the asshole and not at all bothered by the fact that Scorpius seemed more in love with Melanie than ever before but truth be told it felt like he was drowning. Every time he looked over to the Gryffindor table and saw Scorpius laugh with James or discuss something with Fred and Louis or kiss Melanie or the mouth or hair or cheek, Albus just wanted to head back to his common room and hide beneath several layers of blankets.

“You up for some quidditch tonight, mate?” Patrick asked him as he sat down next to him.

Albus looked up at him and shook his head. “Sorry, I have a – “

“Date with Peter,” Patrick finished with a deep sigh but he didn’t look irritated when Albus met his eyes. “Okay, sure, whatever. Hugo, you up?”

“Yes!” Hugo practically shouted. “Are you sure you won’t join us, Al? You could bring Peter?”

“Maybe,” Albus said but thought ‘no way in hell’. He hated Peter spending any time with his family. Not because his family didn’t like him, they all seemed to have accepted him more or less into their circle, but he always felt that pang of guilt whenever he saw Peter with them. Albus felt like he was lying to Peter and when he was with his family Albus also felt like he was lying to them – and he didn’t want to, he absolutely hated it.

“Tell me,” Patrick said and smirked. “What do you guys even do?”

Albus blushed but shot the other boy a death glare. “We study or go down to the kitchen, pervert.”

“Okay, sure,” Patrick said and rolled his eyes. “Not what I’d do, ‘s all I’m saying, but whatever you want!”

Albus also rolled his eyes but didn’t continue the conversation. ‘Study or go down to the kitchen’ didn’t exactly cover what Peter and Albus did but he wasn’t about to admit that. Not because he was ashamed and he knew that his friends wouldn’t be disgusted by it, they’d all been surprisingly accepting, but he didn’t want to share the details of their relationship.

Albus pulled a face – relationship. He wasn’t even sure how this had happened. He looked up again but luckily Peter had left for class and Albus could look back down without feeling his guts twist uncomfortable.

Later that day Peter and him sat in the kitchen and drank hot chocolate and discussed politics. Their conversations were always easy, never an awkward silence, but they weren’t exactly interesting or _personal_. They always stuck to subjects such as school, homework, politics, gossip and that sort of thing.

When Albus felt Peter’s foot gentle touch his leg and then move up and up until it was practically resting in Albus’ lap he looked up and met Peter’s brown eyes. The Slytherin lifted his eyebrows questioning and Albus nodded once before he pushed away, thanked the house elves who bowed until their noses touched the floor, and left the kitchen with Peter right behind him.

The boy took his hand and pulled him towards the closet where Scorpius and Albus had spent too much time grinding or extending handjobs between classes.

When the door closed behind them, Peter pushed Albus’ against it and started kissing him down the throat. “Why do you do that?” he asked as he rested his hands gently – far too gently for a Slytherin, Albus vaguely thought – on Albus’ hips.

“Do what?” Albus asked and pulled his lower lip between his teeth not to groan too loudly when Peter’s hand started moving downwards.

“Thank the house elves,” Peter answered before he looked up and caught Albus’ gaze, his eyes shining.

“My aunt says that keeping house elves is a form of slavery,” Albus shrugged, not wanting to talk about Aunt Hermione or any other family member, really. “So, I always try to be polite when – oh, yes,” he hissed when Peter started moving his palm slowly and teasingly against Albus’ prick. He let his head hit the door behind him and closed his eyes, swallowing hard.

“My fathers’ve told me about that, I think,” Peter gasped against Albus' skin. Albus grabbed the boy’s shirt and forced their lips to meet, just to shut Peter up. They kissed hungrily, tongues touching and teeth pulling at lips. Peter started palming Albus’ dick more desperately and Albus was too caught up in the feeling to care that he didn’t exactly return the favor, just stood there, grabbing and pulling at Peter’s hair. “God, Al, you are so beautiful,” Peter breathed into Al’s mouth. Then he started fumbling with Albus’ belt until he was finally able to get it open and could pull Al’s jeans down. Albus couldn’t help but hiss and he finally opened his eyes to look at Peter, as he stood back and sank to his knees. The sight made Albus swallow hard.

Peter kissed the boxers and Albus hissed and closed his eyes shut. Then he took the liberty of removing the boxers. “God,” he whispered and his voice was rough and hungry and Albus wished, like he had too many times before, that it was enough. Why couldn’t he just fall in love with Peter instead? That was so much simpler; he was openly gay, he didn’t have a girlfriend, he was a good guy, his family approved and their parents even knew each other.

When Peter took him all the way in Albus almost lost it but he managed to swallow down and breathe through his nose until he had calmed down enough that he knew he wouldn’t come as soon as Peter started moving. Peter was good at this – good at making Albus come apart under his touch and he always let Albus lose himself completely until the Hufflepuff was fucking his throat raw.

When he came Peter swallowed all of it and stood up immediately to kiss Albus hungrily. And Albus could taste himself on Peter’s tongue and lips but it wasn’t as good as it’d been when it’d been Scorpius.

“My turn,” Albus said against Peter’s lips. He grabbed the boy’s shoulders and turned him around so he was the one leaning against the door.

“Oh,” Peter groaned. “Please, Albus, please – “

Albus fell to his knees and pulled Peter’s trousers and boxers away. He kissed the inside of Peter’s thighs teasingly and loved the sound of Peter gasping and purring. Even if Albus didn’t feel anything but friendship toward Peter he still wanted him to feel good. So he ran his tongue from the base to the head and took the head into his mouth before he was able to take all of him into his mouth. Peter gasped and begged and moaned but kept his fingers to himself. Albus was grateful for that, because if Peter started yanking at Albus’ hair or started fucking his throat the way Albus did to him, then Albus would almost without doubt gag and pull away.

When Peter came Albus swallowed all of it. Before he had the chance to get up from the floor Peter sank to the floor with him, grabbed his shirt and pulled in for another messy kiss.

“God, Albus,” he moaned into his mouth before he sighed happily. “Just – oh my god,” he chuckled.

Albus didn’t say anything.

\---

“You have to explain something to me,” Rose said one afternoon when they were sitting in the library. Albus looked up from his postions essay and looked at her questioningly. What could Rose Weasley possibly need help with? “I thought you were supposed to be happy when you were in love?”

Albus inhaled sharply and looked down again. “I am,” he lied stiffly.

“No,” she answered, “you pretend that you are, but in reality you are just getting more and more miserably.”

Albus swallowed hard around the lump in his throat but didn’t know exactly what he was supposed to answer. “I’m trying,” he finally settled on. “Okay, Rosie, I’m trying,” and even he could notice how tired he sounded.

There was a moment with intense silence and then: “Okay,” she nodded. “Just, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

“I know,” he said and gave her a genuine smile.

Albus thought vaguely that maybe he wouldn’t feel so damn sad or angry all the time if he wasn’t dating Peter. Not because it was Peter’s fault but just because dating Peter was a constant reminder that he wasn’t dating Scorpius Malfoy. And when exactly this thing with Albus and Scorpius had had gone from fumbling around in empty classrooms to a full-on, heartbreaking crush, Albus couldn’t determine. He _did_ try, though, and after the conversation with Rose he tried even harder. He spend more time with his friends; started joining them for quidditch in the afternoon or sat with them in the common room in the evening and talked and laughed or played chess. And he tried to be more earnest when he was around Peter; he even started mentioning his family once or twice when they were talking. He tried to be more eager when they were together and tried to not just want to be with the other boy when he knew it would result in a blow job in the prefect bathroom.

And for the next few weeks everything was, well, better. Until, of course, the holidays came. Albus had managed to not-think about Scorpius so much he’d forgotten that the boy was coming home with them for Christmas break.

When Albus saw James and Scorpius stand together in the entrance hall, laughing, Albus felt as though someone had punched him in the stomach. He swallowed and looked away and – there came Peter, walking toward him with a huge grin on his face.

“Albus!” he called and several of the Weasley children turned to look at the boy.

“Peter,” Albus said and smiled – maybe a bit brighter than normally now that he knew Scorpius was watching them. “Are you ready to go home for holidays?”

“Yes,” Peter shrugged and reached him. He tilted his head and smiled. “I’ll miss you,” he said in a half-whisper and Albus had to clench his teeth when he returned the smile.

“I’ll miss you, too,” he said a little louder. The he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Peter’s. And the other boy happily returned it, opening his mouth eagerly when Albus ran his tongue along Peter’s bottom lip questioningly. Albus felt Peter grab his waist and pull him closer and Albus’ hands found Peter’s neck. They were kissing, snogging, making out, and rather aggressively. Albus, though, had no plans to pull apart until he heard Fred shout: “Get a room!” and several of their cousins laughed in agreement. 

Albus panted when he finally leaned back and he let his eyes stay closed a little longer, not daring to look up and meet anyone’s gazes just yet. Peter leaned in again and gave him another quick kiss before whispering, “I’ll really, really miss you, you know,” into Albus ear. The hot breath against his skin made Albus shudder and all he managed was a weak nod before he opened his eyes, smiled and turned to his relatives who were all getting ready to leave.

Fred and Louis smirked and winked, Rose shook her head but Albus saw the smile on her lips, Lily and Molly as well as Molly’s boyfriend Thomas all looked in a state somewhere between amused and slightly disgusted and James just rolled his eyes. Albus didn’t catch Scorpius eyes; the other boy never even looked in Albus’ direction.

\---

It was surprisingly easy to ignore Scorpius in the crowd of Weasley children Albus surrounded himself with for the first few days of the holiday. The problems didn’t start until all of the cousins started going their separate ways; Fred was spending Christmas with his parents and his older sister Roxanna as well as her boyfriend, Phoenix and Albus’ grandparents. Louis, his older sisters and their parents went to France to spend Christmas there. Molly, Lucy and their folks were spending the Christmas with their non-Weasley side of their family and Uncle George was in Rumania during the holidays. And so, all of the sudden, it was only Albus, James, Lily, Teddy, mom, dad and, of course, Scorpius Malfoy left.

Albus woke up one morning and dragged himself downstairs only to find a blond boy sitting in the kitchen, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. Albus froze and stared at him for a long while as if he expected the boy to somehow disappear under Albus’ sharp glare. When that didn’t happen Albus argued about just leaving, head upstairs and sleep a few hours until he could be absolutely certain that the rest of the family was awake as well. In the end his hunger won the argument and he forced himself to move, swallowing his deep sigh.

When he entered the kitchen Scorpius looked up and clenched his jaw tight. They looked at each for the first time in too long and neither of them spoke. Albus just carried on into the kitchen to make some food. They continued this non-conversation of theirs until Albus felt like was practically suffocating in the silence and he forced himself to say: “There any coffee left?”

“Yeah,” Scorpius answered and Albus heart – stupid, traitorous heart – fluttered. Inhaling sharply Albus turned around and walked to the table, very promptly ignoring Scorpius. As he poured himself a cop he suddenly heard Scorpius say: “so how’s it going being in love?”

Albus almost spilled the coffee but managed to control himself. He allowed his eyes to close for a brief second before he answered sharply:  “fine, what about you?”

Scorpius snorted and Albus looked down at him, meeting his beautiful grey eyes. “Like you care,” he said.

Albus shook his head and took the cop. “Maybe I do,” he said, “maybe I don’t, what does it matter anyway, I didn’t even know we were talking?”

“You started it,” Scorpius pointed out.

“Oh, please,” Albus said. “Asking for coffee can hardly be called a proper conversation, Malfoy.”

“Okay, whatever you say,” Scorpius replied stiffly and turned back to the newspaper. Albus resisted the urge to hit the boy so hard his nose broke – for a Hufflepuff Albus had a great temper – and turned around to march out. “You know,” Scorpius called when Albus reached the staircase. “You don’t have to pretend to be in love with Peter just to bother me, Al. I don’t care.”

Albus bit down on his tongue so hard he could taste blood. He had to breathe through his nose once, twice before he was able to control himself. “Fuck off, Malfoy,” he snapped and practically ran upstairs, his stomach still clenching with hunger.

After their little encounter the air between them was tense. Normally they more or less just ignored each other so no one noticed that they weren’t exactly speaking, but now – well, James gave them odd looks they both promptly pretended not to notice and Lily kept asking if they were both alright. Evening came Albus found himself sitting in his room, alone, reading and pretending he couldn’t hear Lily and Scorpius laugh shamelessly in the living room.

“Al?”

Albus looked up and saw James enter the room. He swallowed but smiled and put the book down. “What’s up, Jamie?” he asked casually.

“Not much,” James shrugged. “You wanna tell me what’s wrong between you and Scorp?”

“What could possibly be wrong between us?” Albus asked.

“I don’t know, that’s why I am asking,” James snapped and sat down on the bed next to Albus. “Does it have anything to do with what happened at that Ravenclaw party where he just disappeared?”

Albus inhaled sharply but found himself tongue-tied. “No,” he finally choked out, “Cause there’s nothing wrong.”

James glared at him. “You are a bad liar,” he said coolly.

“I’m not lying,” Albus said weakly and looked away from James' intense brown eyes that suddenly reminded him of Peter. “Maybe we’re just both having bad days?”

James snorted loudly and Albus very deliberately didn’t look at him. “Okay, whatever. If you still don’t think you can talk to me I really don’t – “

“Jamie,” Albus cut his brother off. James both sounded and looked a mixture between sad and angry and Albus wanted to just tell him everything then and there but he wasn’t sure what James would even do. Would he be mad at Albus for lying? Would he be mad at Scorpius? Would he be mad at them both for betraying Melanie? Because this wasn’t just Scorpius cheating on her, this was also Albus allowing Scorpius to cheat even when he shouldn’t.

“Al, you can tell me whatever,” James said.

“I know,” Albus lied and swallowed hard. “I’m really okay, James.”

His brother inhaled sharply and shook his head. “Okay,” he said but Albus knew he didn’t believe him. James got up and left without looking at Albus who suddenly felt very miserably and alone.  He stayed in his room the rest of the evening, in fact he didn’t get up until midnight when he had to use the bathroom. He knew his parents were sleep and he was pretty certain Lily was as well. Of course, as soon as he opened his bedroom door he ran into Scorpius. And maybe the day before they’d just ignore each other but now their eyes met and they glared at one another for a silence, intense minute.

“James thinks I’m plotting to kill you,” Scorpius said all of the sudden and all Albus could do was stare at him.

“Fascinating,” Albus said flatly. “Could you please move, I need to use – “

He didn’t get to finish the sentence because suddenly there were rough lips on his own hands on his hips, nails digging into his tender skin and fingertips bruising him. And Albus returned the kiss immediately and eagerly, kissing Scorpius raw, like he was the air Albus needed to fill his starving lungs. Albus grabbed at Scorpius shirt but if to pull him closer or to force it off, he wasn’t exactly sure. All he knew was that he needed Scorpius, needed his touch, needed his kisses, needed him to bruise and ruin, needed him to do just about anything or everything.

Scorpius pulled back to breath and Albus immediately started attacking his exposed neck. He kissed, licked and sucked on his collarbone until Scorpius had to bite down on his lower lip painfully hard not to moan. Scorpius’ hands were rooming all over Albus’ body; over his arms, into his hair, over his stomach, his face, down his back. And Albus leaned into every single touch, craving them desperately. In the end they landed on Albus’ shoulders where they pulled him up to another messy kiss. This time Albus hooked his fingers into Scorpius belt and started pulling him backwards towards his room. He wasn’t even sure what they were doing, and he honestly tried not to think. All he was sure of was that he would certainly die didn’t taste Scorpius properly within the next few seconds. He’d never actually felt a need to suck a cock, but there it was; he needed to swallow Scorpius, needed to taste him, needed Scorpius to fall apart under his touch.

When he pushed him against the wall next to his bedroom door Albus was about ready to fall to his knees right there and then and just not give a damn but – luckily – Scorpius had a bit more sense and he took a step back, swallowing hard.

Albus looked up at him and the sight of the boy made him whimper with need; his blond hair was messy, his lips were red and his clothes were a mess.

“I have to – “ Scorpius said and breathed heavily. “James,” he finally got out.

“Oh,” was Albus said, and then: “Yes, you’re right.”

And then they stood in the hallway and looked at each other, both of them trying to grasp the concept of what exactly had just happened. Albus took a step forward and kissed Scorpius again and Scorpius immediately wrapped his arms around the smaller boy and pulled him closer. The kiss turned messy way too fast but again Scorpius had the sense to pull away. This time Albus very deliberately whined and pouted, causing Scorpius’ breath to hitch and when Albus caught his eyes they were dark with lust. The sight just made Albus even hornier than he already was and it was almost painful.

“God,” Scorpius breathed and shook his head. “Albus…”

“Scorpius.”

He took one more deep breath before Scorpius turned around and hurried away. Albus quickly went into his room. He locked the door and went to his bed. He pulled his too tight jeans down and started palming himself, biting his lips to keep in the filthy moans. It was easier than ever before to get off; all he had to do was imagine Scorpius kissing him, pressing him against a wall, on his knees or looking down at Albus, biting his lips not to moan, or moaning so loudly someone would certainly hear, or Scorpius lying naked on a bed, Albus with a finger inside him –

He closed his eyes, covered his mouth with a hand to muffle the way he shouted when he came.

\---

The next day Albus wasn’t exactly sure what to do with himself. He was conflicted about – well, about everything really. He was still angry at Scorpius, he still thought what they’d done – and was apparently doing again – was wrong and now even more so because of Peter and oh _Merlin_ Peter. The thought of the beautiful boy made Albus sick to his stomach. He’d cheated. He was just as bad as Scorpius. And still that didn’t stop him from wanting more, more, more.

The Potter children, Teddy and Scorpius spent the day indoors. Teddy and James were playing some sort of game that Albus wasn’t entirely sure what was about, Scorpius watched them or talked to Lily and Albus sat on the couch, reading his book. Every now and again he’d look up and he’d see Scorpius looking at him from across the room. At first it was more or less innocently but as they day proceeded the looks and his actions got more and more filthy; he’d bite down on his lip, would run his tongue over his lip, would suck discrete on his thumb while looking at Albus or ache his back the same way he did when he Albus was on top of him and he needed more. And Albus was falling apart. He grew harder and harder and he swallowed hard while he tried to read his book.

“I have to use the loo,” Scorpius suddenly stated loudly and got up.

“Yeah,” James said, not looking up from the game where he was – Albus thought, he wasn’t entirely sure – losing.

Albus tried not to breathe harder, tried not to shake, tried not to swallow too loudly. He waited three long minutes before he mumbled something about being cold and needing a sweater before he finally got up and followed Scorpius upstairs.

He didn’t know where Scorpius was but he didn’t think he’d be in the bathroom. Albus went to his room first, thinking he could at least grab the sweater, and about as soon as he’d opened the door he was pressed again it while eager hands moved up under his shirt and over his skin. He gasped and closed his eyes.

“Scorpius,” he moaned.

“You have to be quiet,” Scorpius whispered into his ear, “or else they’ll hear.”

Then he took Albus’ earlobe into his mouth and started sucking on it gentle until Albus couldn’t help it and he arched his hips against Scorpius’. The other boy gasped and let his fingers wander over the skin until they were suddenly underneath Albus’ waistline, tugging at his bare hips.

“Scorpius,” Albus whispered and leaned forward so he could press kisses to the other boy’s pale throat and shoulders. “Please.”

“Al,” Scorpius choked out. He gasped and inhaled sharply as he forced a leg in between Albus’ so he could press a knee against Albus’ groin.

“Please,” Albus repeated, “please, please – “

“We have to be quick,” Scorpius said. “We have to – “

Albus cut him off by pushing him away gently, so he stumbled a step back. He looked at Albus with a mixture of confuse and lust and Albus couldn’t help but lick his lips before he fell to his knees. Scorpius hissed when Albus worked his belt open and pulled his jeans down quickly. He licked his lips and again and again as he pulled Scorpius’ boxers down as well. He was so close to the prick that Scorpius could feel his hot breath on it but before he took it into his mouth Albus looked up and caught Scorpius grey eyes. The boy inhaled sharply and nodded. Albus smirked – actually smirked – and returned the nod once before he took Scorpius all the way in.

“Oh my god – Albus,” Scorpius moaned and threw his head back, his fingers twitching by his side. “Please, please, please – yes.”

Albus moved slowly up and down at first, taking absolute pleasure in the sounds Scorpius was making. Then he started moving faster and faster, running his tongue along the shaft.

“Oh god,” Scorpius whimpered, “so good, Al, so _good_ – please, touch yourself.”

Albus moaned around the prick and it made Scorpius hiss. Albus let his right hand find its way between his legs and pushed it into his boxers, wrapping it around his hard dick. He moved his hand to the rhythm of his mouth and he could feel Scorpius eyes on him.

“So beautiful,” Scorpius whispered brokenly. Not five seconds later did he come and Albus swallowed around the cock. Albus came before he’d even had the change to properly pull away from Scorpius prick.

They were panting and gasping desperately. Scorpius placed a gentle hand on Albus’ shoulder, urging him to get up. When he did he noticed how his legs were weak, almost shaking. He swallowed hard and then Scorpius kissed him desperately.

“God,” he whispered against Albus’ lips.

“I should change into some other jeans,” Albus murmured and Scorpius chuckled and pulled back slightly.

“Maybe, yeah,” he said before he leaned in for another quick kiss. “I’ll go downstairs, okay?”

“Yeah,” Albus nodded. Scorpius let go and walked to the door but before he opened it, he turned around and looked at Albus.

“You’re amazing, you know that?”

Albus actually blushed and had to look away. “Go downstairs, you fucker,” he mumbled and Scorpius just laughed before he finally left.

\---

Albus didn’t have time to think about how wrong what they were doing was; when he wasn’t pressing Scorpius against a wall, biting into his tender flesh, sucking him off or being sucked off, he was with his family. Christmas came and they all sat in the living room and exchanged presents and it was amazing and nice and easy and Albus felt truly happy and comfortably for the first time in months. Later, when he was in the kitchen making hot chocolate, Scorpius walked in.

“Hey,” he said and nodded casually.

“Hey, good presents?” Albus asked.

“Yeah,” Scorpius shrugged. “My parents, as always, had no idea what to get me,” he said and snickered, ,,but other than their dress robes, yeah, they actually were.”

“Good,” Albus nodded. And then Scorpius leaned in, just slightly, so he could whisper into Albus’ ear: “I saved your present for later,” and it took all of Albus’ willpower not to drop the cup in his hand.

Later when he was in bed he was staring up at the ceiling, waiting impatiently. The clock was almost one in the morning before his bedroom door finally creaked open and Scorpius showed up. Albus sat up in his bed immediately and Scorpius smirked as he walked toward him.

“Hey,” he said and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Hey,” Albus said and leaned forward, ready to attack Scorpius’ mouth with his own.

“So, James told me about this place,” Scorpius said and the smirk grew wider. “Just on the other side of the lake, there’s this house – “

“Yeah,” Albus interrupted. “It’s more like a shed than an actual house, though.”

“Well, whatever it is,” Scorpius said, “I thought it would be the perfect place to go and, ah, give you your present.”

Albus inhaled sharply and couldn’t help but lean forward in anticipation. “Okay,” he gasped.

“Yes?”

“Yes, bloody _hell_ , just hurry up – “

“Impatient aren’t we?”

“Oh, shut up, you,” Albus growled and practically pushed him off the bed. He grabbed a sweater and walked to the door, Scorpius close behind him. They quickly got outside. The snow was covering the ground and despite his sweater Albus couldn’t help but shiver. Scorpius suddenly put an arm around him and pulled him closer. Not to kiss, not to tease, just to hold him as they made their way toward the shed, giving Albus some much needed body heat. Albus swallowed but didn’t say anything, just continued onward.

The shed was hardly even a shed. It was this old shelter-thing that stood close to the lake. It wasn’t even half the size of Albus’ bedroom but is was airtight and warm. There was even a lamp and a few blankets, indicating that this wasn’t the first time someone had taken a lover to the shed for the night. Maybe this was where James brought all his girlfriends.

“Oh, this is nice,” Scorpius mumbled into Albus’ hair. “Albus…”

“Yeah,” he said but he wasn’t exactly sure what he was agreeing to, just that whatever it was, he needed it now because he was aching with need already. “Please, Scorpius – “

“God,” the other boy groaned, “I can’t control myself when you start begging, Albus. God.”

“Good,” Albus mumbled before he turned in Scorpius’ arms so they were facing each other. They looked at one another for a few tense seconds before Albus finally leaned up and kissed the taller boy. The Gryffindor grunted and kissed him back with just as equal amounts of force.  It was, as always, messy and hard and full of teeth and tongues and moans. They stood there, kissing almost desperately, for what felt like hours and Albus could feel his heart drumming painfully hard in his chest.

Then Scorpius pulled away. Albus opened his eyes and looked at the other boy who was panting and trying to gain control over the situation. “Albus,” he said, “listen to me.”

“I am listening, Scorpius,” Albus said as he started pressing tender kisses along Scorpius jaw, ,,to whatever you say – “

“Let’s have sex,” Scorpius interrupted and Albus froze immediately. “Al, listen – “

“Are you… sure?” Albus asked as he leaned back to look up at the other boy. His grey eyes were glimmering and shining in the dim light from the broken lamp but he nodded with intense determination that made it hard for Albus to breathe properly.

“I want you so bad,” Scorpius told him and kissed his forehead, letting his fingers trail down his spine. “Want you so bad, Al, so, so – “

“Scorp – “ Albus chokes and closed his eyes, leaning against the other boy.

“Do you want to, Al?” he heard Scorpius ask and he inhaled suddenly. ‘Yes’ he wanted to shout because, yes Salazar did he want this, did he crave this, did he think about this all the fucking time, but – it wasn’t that easy, was it? For neither of them; neither of them were single, they were both in relationships and even if Albus wanted Scorpius like he’d never wanted anyone or anything before, he still wanted his first time to matter, he still wanted Scorpius to mean it. “Al? Please, tell me – “

“Scorpius,” Albus whispered but he wasn’t even sure what that meant. All he knew was that the way Scorpius’ hand moved all over his body made it harder and harder for Albus to breathe, to think, to –

“Please,” Scorpius begged and sucked and bit down on Albus neck. “Please, Al, whatever you want – “

“You,” Albus said, “just you, all of you, Scorpius, please – “

“Yes,” Scorpius said and kept sucking and biting and licking. “Yes, whatever you want me to do – “

“Fuck me,” Albus breathed and the words even took himself by surprise but as soon as he’d said them he realized how badly he needed just that: for Scorpius to fuck him hard. “Please, Scorpius, I need – “

“Oh god, Al,” Scorpius said and never before had Albus heard him sound so – almost broken with need. “Yes, yes, yes.”

They were panting hard, taking turns in kissing the other’s neck or throat, licking and biting. Then they both pulled back to attach each other again; kissing more aggressively than before. Scorpius tucked Albus’ shirt over his head, only breaking the kiss when absolutely necessary. Albus’ own hands trailed down until he reached Scorpius jeans. He quickly started opening them and pulled them down. It all happened too fast and suddenly they were naked expect for their boxers and they were still kissing and biting and holding onto each other desperately. Albus never wanted to let go, he wanted to always have Scorpius this close to him.

“You really are amazing, Al,” Scorpius whispered into his mouth between kisses. “So beautiful.”

“P-please,” Albus choked out, not entirely sure what he was begging for any longer.

“Yes,” Scorpius said and swallowed hard. Then he took a step back and looked at Albus while licking his lips. The sight made Albus whimper and swallow hard.

“How should – “

“On your back, love,” Scorpius said and his voice was suddenly so, so gentle. It made something inside Albus twist and he wasn’t entirely sure it was in a good way. But he ignored it and nodded. He took one of the blankets and spread it out on the floor and sat down. Scorpius sat down in front of him and, with one hand on his chest, carefully pushed him back so Albus was on his back. Then he hovered over him for a second before he leaned down and kissed the shorter boy once again. Albus moaned into his mouth and couldn’t help but jerk his hips up for more contact. Scorpius chuckled and kissed his cheeks and jawline and throat and lower, lower, lower. Albus kept swallowing hard because he couldn’t fucking breathe and it was terrifying and amazing at all once. He felt Scorpius’ tongue on his stomach and he shuddered. Gentle fingers were running over his ribs making his flesh creep. He wanted to beg some more but he was suddenly tongue-tied as Scorpius looked back up at him. He nodded furiously as the other boy pulled down his own as well as Albus’ boxer, leaving them finally entirely naked. Then sat down in front of Albus and forced his knees apart.

“Al, are you – “

“Yes,” Albus said and closed his eyes shut in anticipation. “Yes, _please_.”

When he opened his eyes again it was to see Scorpius open a bottle of lube and spread it on one finger and Albus breath caught in his throat. His heart was hammering and his blood pumping in his ears. Then he felt a cold touch against his hole and he hisses.

“You okay?” Scorpius asked.

“Yes, just – “

He didn’t get to finish because Scorpius pressed against his hole and pushed his finger inside. Albus felt a short pang of pain and he bit down on his lower lip not to shout out. For a second neither of them moved or spoke but then he felt Scorpius hiss and inhale sharply before he started working the finger inside of Albus. And god, it felt so, so good. Albus swallowed hard and clenched his jaw tight, digging his nails into his palms painfully.

“Oh, god,” he choked out. “More, Scorpius, more.”

Scorpius groaned and then Albus felt another finger press inside of him and he moaned loudly and couldn’t help but move his hips to meet Scorpius thrusts. He hardly noticed when the third finger was added, fingering him open.  They were both panting desperately by the time Scorpius pulled the fingers out. Albus forced his eyes open and saw the other boy apply the slick lube to his prick, moving his hand up and down in movements that made Albus’ breath hitch. The sound made Scorpius turn and look down at him, hunger visible in his grey eyes.

“Albus, are you ready?” he asked carefully and suddenly Albus couldn’t hear anything over the sound of his own blood pounding. He tried to nod but it turned into a shudder. Finally he managed to say: “Yes,” and Scorpius nodded.

Albus’ body was thrumming with need and want and lust and –

He couldn’t help but hiss when he felt the head of Scorpius’ dick against his entrance. Scorpius stopped and looked at him but Albus just nodded and Scorpius continued to push carefully.

Albus inhaled sharply and clenched his teeth. Scorpius dick was so much bigger than his fingers and for a brief second Albus thought it would never fit, that it couldn’t possibly be inside of him but then Scorpius inhaled and pushed forward and Albus choked on the pain.

“Al – Al, are you okay?” Scorpius whispered.

“Y-yeah, just give me a second,” he whispered, his eyes closed. He took several deep breathes through his nose and told himself to relax before he nodded. Another second and then Scorpius was pushing into him again. Albus kept his eyes and dug his nails into his own thighs to take some of the sudden pain away; it burned so bad.

Then Scorpius hitched and Albus opened his eyes to find the boy hovering just over him, his blond hair sticking to his forehead with sweat. “Albus – are you – are you – “

“Yeah,” Albus nodded and swallowed.

“Can I move?” Scorpius asked carefully and Albus shook his head.

“Just give – just give me a second, okay?”

“Of course,” Scorpius spoke gentle, his voice so full of patience if broke Albus’ heart. “Just relax, love, _relax_.”

Albus nodded and took a few more calming breaths, feeling the pain slowly go away. When he felt like the other boy could move without breaking something, Albus nodded and opened his eyes. Scorpius actually gave him a tender smile before he started moving. The first few thrust hurt terrible but Scorpius was so, so careful and soon the pain turned into pleasure and Albus started moaning with Scorpius.

“God, Al, so beautiful, so, so – “

“Please, please, please,” Albus choked out and actually jerked his hips to meet Scorpius’ slow thrust. “I need more – “

“We have to be careful – “

“No,” Albus said and shook his head. “Please, just, Scorpius, fuck me, please – harder, more, I need – “

Scorpius grunted and when he thrust forward the next time it was with more force than before. He hit something inside of Albus that made him scream out in pleasure and his back arched up.

“Again!” he said and the next time Scorpius hit the spot inside of him Albus shouted again. He wrapped his legs around Scorpius’ torso and Scorpius leaned down to kiss him hungrily. They gasped and panted and moaned.

“God, Al, oh god,” Scorpius moaned into his mouth. He pulled out slightly so he could slam into him harder and Albus’ entire back arched up so Scorpius could wrap an arm around him and hold him close against his chest.

“Yes, please, Scorpius,” Albus moaned. “ _Harder_.”

Scorpius grunted and he looked almost desperate when Albus looked at him. Then, without ever breaking the contact, Scorpius managed to move so he was on his back, Albus straddling his lap. Albus gasped and threw his head back. Scorpius’ hand came to rest on Albus hips. “Move,” he begged. “Albus I need you to move,” and Albus did move. First back and forth, loving the way it felt, and then slowly up and down. And then, when they were both panting and begging, he pulled almost all the way up and then sunk down again. Scorpius shouted and dug his nails into Albus’ fragile, pale skin. They both knew it would be over soon – too soon – but that knowledge wasn’t enough for either one of them to tell the other to go slower. They needed more, they needed it harder and faster and –

Albus came with a shout, bending forward so he could lean his sweaty forehead against Scorpius’ collarbone. The next few thrust from Scorpius were almost painful, so over-sensitive was Albus after his orgasm but he didn’t say anything, just bit his lip and then Scorpius came, screaming Albus’ name. Scorpius filling him up made Albus moan in pleasure all over again.

They panted heavily for a few minutes before Albus very carefully moved so he could lie down next to Scorpius. He felt both tired and happy and sore and over-sensitive and it was all too much and not enough.

“You really are amazing,” Scorpius whispered and leaned over Al to kiss him gently on the mouth.

“So are you,” Albus smiled and returned the tender kiss.

“We have to go back,” Scorpius said and he actually sounded regretful, it almost made Albus smile again.

“Just… give me a second, okay?”

“Whatever you need,” Scorpius promised and kissed him again. “Are you sore?”

Albus just shrugged and closed his eyes, too comfortable to care. He felt Scorpius lie down again and then strong arms wrapped around his torso and a mouth kissed his shoulder. This time he didn’t even try to stop the smile; he was too goddamn happy.

They stayed for almost an hour before they finally got up. When Albus stood he felt the pain shoot through his muscles and he swallowed hard and tried not to let it show. Getting into his jeans was hard and he could feel Scorpius eyes on him. Walking was even more difficult but he was pleased to discover that the pain seemed to go away with each step he took, like his body just needed to adjust. Scorpius didn’t say anything; he didn’t have to, he just took Albus’ hands and let their fingers intertwine. It was all too perfect; walking slowly back to his house, Scorpius right next to him, the sky clear above them and the air cold and fresh.

It was all too perfect so of course something had to go wrong.

Albus hadn’t seen it coming.

Maybe he should have, but he didn’t.

They made it back home and Al opened the front door carefully only to be blinded by the light from the kitchen. They both froze and stared at James in the doorway. He was looking at them with his mouth half open and his eyes widened.

“Where have you been?” he hissed.

“Nowhere,” Albus said and immediately felt absolutely stupid.

“Really, Albus, you haven’t been anywhere at all?” James asked flatly. “It’s, what three in the morning and you both just happen to be out and about. I was really worried about you,” he directed the last part to Scorpius. “I woke up and you weren’t there!”

“Sorry, I just got up to…” He didn’t finish the sentence and that was when Albus realized how screwed they were.

“Just got up to what exactly? Where were you? A few days ago I thought you hated each other and now you’re sneaking – is that a hickey?”

They both froze and Albus immediately put his hands on his neck as if to cover it up even though he knew it was far too late for that.

James inhaled sharply and his eyes grew impossibly wider. “No, “ he said and shook his head slowly. “No, you can’t be serious.”

“Jamie,” Scorpius pleaded, “just please calm down and don’t – “

“Tell?” James practically shouted. “What the hell is _wrong_ with you two?”

“James,” Albus pleaded.

“You’re both in relationships!” the boy continued. “You are both cheating on someone, how could you?”

“Shh, please, Jamie, you are waking your parents and sister and – “ Scorpius tried again.

“Oh don’t talk like you actually _care_ about anything like that,” James snapped, his eyes practically glimmering with fury. “I just can’t believe you guys.”

It felt like someone was stabbing Albus; he looked down, unable to meet his brother’s rightfully angry eyes. Because, yes, Albus knew what they’d done was wrong, he’d known all along. It had been wrong even before Peter had entered the picture and now it was just – it was all so messed up.

“Calm the fuck down,” Scorpius hissed angrily and Albus wanted to tell them both to please stop arguing. “We haven’t – It was a onetime thing, okay?”

And if James’ words hurt it was nothing compared to Scorpius’.

“Okay, Jamie? It was _one_ time and it didn’t matter – “

Albus cut Scorpius off by his sharp intake of breath and they both turned to look at him but he was staring at something above James’ head. He wasn’t about to cry in front of his brother and his – his –

“I don’t care,” James stated. “I don’t care if it was once or – or – I can’t believe you two! Do you not care about Melanie?”

“Of course I do!”

Albus felt like throwing up, like falling to his knees and curl into a ball, like just letting go and start crying. It was all too much, it was all too fucking painful. 

“Then why?”

“I don’t know!” Scorpius shouted and now they had certainly woken everyone else up. Albus inhaled sharply again and looked away. His heart was beating too hard, his fingers were shaking and he vision was blurry with tears. “It was a mistake, okay, please just don’t tell – “

Albus couldn’t take it anymore; he turned and hit Scorpius. Whether it hurt Scorpius’ face more than it hurt Albus’ knuckles is doubtful but at least he was given the pleasure of seeing the other boy stacker backwards in surprise and pain. And then Albus ran upstairs and into his room where he slammed his door shut and locked it. Then he collapsed on his bed, buried his head in the pillow and cried, not giving a shit about whether the others could hear or not.

\---

It wasn’t fair. Well, maybe it _was_ fair, actually. After what he’d done – after what _they’d_ done – maybe pain was exactly what he needed, what he deserved, but there had to be a limit, right? There had to be one point where the universe would stop it; all of it.

Albus had woken up the next day and felt like shit. His muscles were burning, his inside was hurting and everything was so fucked up it was hard to even breathe properly. He stayed in bed as long as he could manage and then got up, pulled on a hoodie and went downstairs; and that’s where he entered hell.

The first thing he saw was Melanie Longbottom sitting in his kitchen talking to Lily and – Scorpius Malfoy, of course. She looked happy so that had to mean James hadn’t told her. And then Albus realized: Scorpius had _known_ she was coming today, of course he’d known, and he’d still taken Albus to the shed – he’d taken Albus to shed _because_ she was coming today, because it was his last change.

Albus felt sicker than ever before and he turned dangerously pale. He couldn’t walk into the kitchen, he just couldn’t. Instead he turned around and walked upstairs again. He opened the door to his bedroom but then James appeared.

“Albus," he said and Albus closed his eyes and swallowed hard before he dared turn toward the other boy. “You’re awake.”

“Yeah,” Albus said, voice breaking. “So are you.”

James just nodded, glaring at Albus with fire in his eyes. Albus felt like crumbling under the intense glare but he couldn’t even look away from the brown eyes.

“I just wanted to tell you, that I’m not going to say anything, to anyone,” James said, his voice harsh. “It’s not my place. You, on the other hand, should – “

“I will,” Albus said and nodded desperately. “I will.”

“Good. I’ve talked to Scorpius but I don’t – “

“Stop,” Albus pleaded and turned away. “Just, please stop.”

There was a moment of silence and when James spoke again Albus was surprised at how gentle his tone was: “Albus.”

The youngest looked up and met his brother’s eyes again. “Just…”

“Albus, come here.” James held out his hand and Albus looked at it like he expected James to hit him but of course no such thing happened. “Come on!”

Finally Albus moved forward and let James lead him into his room. It was slightly bigger than Albus’ and even messier. From the window you could see the lake and the shed.

“Talk to me.”

Albus looked over his shoulder to see James leaning against the door frame. His words were gentler than before but his glare was still strong and his posture made it very clear that he wasn’t happy with Albus at all. The younger Potter shook his head dismissingly and turned back to look out of the window.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” he said after a silent moment. “It happened and it shouldn’t have, end of story really.”

It hurt so much.

“I don’t believe you. You really are a terrible liar.”

“What do you want me to say, huh?”

“The truth, for once, please Al! A few days ago I didn’t even think you and Scorpius liked each other that much and now you are apparently shagging! Hell, I didn’t even know Scorpius was bi but this is just a day full of surprises, isn’t it?”

Albus closed his eyes when they started stinging. He wasn’t going to cry again. He felt pathetic enough as it was, he didn’t need a breakdown in front of his older brother to make it worse.

“I really don’t know what you want, Jamie,” he said.

“Al, dammit, just tell me why it is that you look like you’re about to cry all the time. Is it because of Peter? I didn’t even know you liked him that much – “

“I don’t,” Albus cut James off.

He heard his brother take a deep breath. “No I didn’t think so either. Then why?”

“Just… It doesn’t matter,” Albus said. He wanted to turn around and leave, he wanted to go to his room, lock the door and never get out. He wanted to scream into his pillow or cry against his knuckles, he wanted all of this stupid fucking holiday to be over.

“It does. Al, tell me, are you… Are you in love with him?” And James tone was far too gentle and his words far too true and god it was getting harder and harder for Albus not to cry. He didn’t want to, he didn’t –

“Maybe,” he whispered. “Does it matter?”

“It wasn’t just once, was it?”

Albus shook his head. “No. Uh, it started a few months ago but then – then it stopped.”

“Because of Peter?”

“Because of Melanie.”

“Oh.”

And then neither of them said anything else. James hadn’t moved, Albus hadn’t moved. Outside it began to snow and Albus followed the snowflakes with his eyes as they circled toward the ground. After a long moment of silence Albus finally pulled together some of his supposed Gryffindor courage and turned around. He didn’t look at his brother as he pushed past him and James didn’t try to stop him from leaving. He didn’t need anger or pity from his brother.

The door shut with a slam behind him.

\---

The next few days were absolutely hell. Not only was Albus forced to look at Scorpius and Melanie kissing in his living room just about every god fucking time Albus left his room, but he was also forced to share meals with them as well as Professor Longbottom. And if he thought he already felt bad about the situation it couldn't compare to how Albus felt after Neville looked at him with admiration in his eyes and told him he’d missed being his godfather. Because that was the kind of crap Professor Longbottom said and it made Albus feel like the worst person on this earth. He wasn’t sure whether the fact that James and Scorpius wasn’t talking made the situation worse or better but it hardly even mattered. His parents noticed the tension between the three of them and asked Albus if everything was alright.

“Yeah,” he’s answered but didn’t look at them.

“We are proud of you, you know that, right?” his mother had told him.

“And if this has anything to do with, uh, you’re sexuality – “

“It hasn’t,” Albus had said, cutting off his father. “There’s nothing… There’s nothing wrong, okay? I’m just tired and I don’t know what’s up with Scorp and Jamie.”

“Okay,” his mother had said, but she said in the exact same way James did whenever he was positive Albus was lying.

Luckily the holiday eventually ended and all the Weasley and Potter children had to go back to Hogwarts. Never had Albus been so glad to disappear into his common room. Hugo sat down next to him on the couch and gave him a concerned look.

“You okay? You didn’t say anything the entire train ride – “

“That’s not true,” Albus protested weakly and Hugo just snorted. “Whatever.”

“Okay, okay, if you don’t want to talk about it – “

“I don’t,” Albus snapped and glared at Hugo. He knew he wasn’t being fair, this wasn’t Hugo’s fault. This wasn’t anyone’s fault but Albus’ and he deserved the questions and concerned looks but they still made his skin crawl and his stomach clench and god he wanted them to stop before he accidentally told them, all of them, the truth. He knew how they’d look at him if he did; the same way James looked at him. He couldn’t take that, it would break him. If Hugo ever –

He shook his head and inhaled sharply. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “Wanna play chess?”

Hugo glared at him for a few seconds before he gave up and nodded. Albus gave him a weak smile as he stood up and grabbed the board. His heart was pounding and he clenched his teeth painfully hard. Luckily Hugo dropped it and didn’t pester him about it once they started playing. And the next few hours were actually nice. Albus could pretend that he could stay inside the common room forever and never have to face anyone else but his fellow Hufflepuff students. They were all happy and laughed and hugged each other and told stories about their holidays. It was nice and calm. It wasn’t as loud as the Gryffindor common room but not as quiet as the Slytherin either. It was just about perfect, Albus thought. So of course something had to happen.

It was almost midnight and Albus was ready to go to bed but Hugo was telling him about his latest Quidditch tactic and Albus was forced to endure it. His younger cousin had just started talking about why Gryffindor’s keeper was shit or something when Patrick showed up.

“Hey, Al,” he greeted.

“Hey Patty, good holiday?”

“Yeah,” the boy shrugged. “Grandmother almost choked to death and mother threw up so it was as calm and normal as ever.”

Albus, Hugo as well as a few other students laughed.

“Anyway,” Patrick continued, “that’s not why I’m here. Your boyfriend is outside.”

For just a brief, insane moment Albus was about to ask ‘Scorpius?’ until he realized that no, of course it wasn’t Scorpius, it had to be Peter. And then it became increasingly harder to breathe all of the sudden. He swallowed hard and nodded.

“What about Quidditch?” Hugo asked him.

“Tell Patrick,” Albus said without turning to look at his cousin. He felt weak and miserably and like shit. There was no other way to put it; Albus felt like utter shit all the way through. He wanted to throw up or pass out or just about anything. He imagined time stopping, he imagined himself getting hit by a meteor, he imagined a lot of things on his way to the door but nothing happened.

When he pushed the lid open and entered the hallway his fingers were shaking badly and he felt warm and cold at the same time.

He saw Peter as soon as he left the common room. The boy stood leaned against the wall, talking to Sir Prompt just like Scorpius had what felt like years ago. God, this was all too fucking messed up. When had all of this happened? When had Albus decided that he was that guy? The guy that cheated on his boyfriends, shagged his brother’s best friend and allowed said best friend to cheat on his girlfriend who also happened to be Albus’ godsister. He felt sick.

“Peter?” And even his voice sounded weak.

The other boy turned around to face him and his face lit up. “Al!” he sang happily and quickly moved toward him. When he wrapped his arms around Albus and pulled him into a hug Albus found himself thinking that maybe – maybe he shouldn’t tell? Maybe he should just let Peter hug and kiss him, maybe he should –

“God, I missed you,” he whispered and kissed Albus’ just under his left ear.

No, Albus had to tell him.

“I have to talk to you,” Albus murmured.

“Okay, what about?”

“Not – not here. Let’s go to the closet.” Albus stepped back and caught Peter’s brown eyes. The boy had furrowed his eyebrows and that concern and confuse flickering in his glare.

“Okay. Is everything alright, Al? You look a little pale.”

Albus just shook his head and started walking. He had to do this, he had to tell Peter. Peter was a good guy, he didn’t deserve Albus lying to him.

Albus pushed the door open and entered with Peter close behind him. “Lumos,” he whispered and the light form his wand fell over their faces. Peter was standing close – too close. Albus could see the crinkles around his eyes and the birthmark on his jawline.

“What’s wrong, Al?”

Albus swallowed hard, inhaled sharply and swallowed again. “This can’t – we can’t – I’m sorry – “

“Are you breaking up with me, Al?” Peter asked and his voice wasn’t angry it was just sad, like he was about to cry.

Albus looked absolutely devastated when he closed his eyes. A tear escaped from the corner of his eye and fell down his cheek. “I’m so sorry but you deserve better, Peter.”

“What? No, I don’t. Please, Al, what’s this about, I don’t understand.” Peter took his hand and gave it careful squeeze. “I don’t deserve better, I don’t want anything better, okay? I want you because you are amazing and – “

“I’ve cheated on you.”

The words sounded so absolutely hallow. They couldn’t begin to describe what had happened but it was all Albus could say, he couldn’t explain it all to Peter.

Peter let go of his hand and took a step back. Albus opened his eyes to look at him. He was betrayal and hurt in Peter’s big, brown eyes. And underneath all of that, below all the sorrow and terror, he saw pure rage flicker and Albus inhaled, waiting for the inevitable punch that never came.

“What?” Peter finally choked out. “You got to be – are you serious?”

“I’m so sorry,” was all Albus could say and god that wasn’t even remotely close to what Peter deserved. He deserved someone who loved him, who could hold him close and whisper sweet nothing into his ear when they had sex, he deserved the world and Albus couldn’t give him that. He didn’t even want to. Because truth be told, Albus didn’t much care about Peter. He knew that only made it worse, that only made the situation more fucked up, but it was true; he didn’t care about Peter. He’d never been even remotely close to in love with him.

“When?” Peter asked.

“Holidays,” Albus answered. He couldn’t tell him that it had been going on even before. Telling Peter the entire truth wouldn’t help either of them so he wasn’t going to do that.

“What? But who – “ He cut himself off and Albus could pinpoint the exact moment he realized who it was. “Scorpius?”

“Yeah,” Albus whispered and looked away, unable to meet Peter’s gaze.

“Why?”

And there is was, that one question Albus couldn’t answer. What was he supposed to say? ‘Because I’m in love with him for god knows what reason, because I’ve been in love with him ever since my brother made us kiss in the common room a few months ago.’

“I’m so sorry,” Albus said instead of answering the question.

There was a moment of intense silence where neither of them said anything. Albus wasn’t even looking at Peter, but he could hear the other boy breathe heavily and Albus had to swallow hard.

“I hate you,” Peter said calmly after a while.

“I know,” Albus answered even though he didn’t – he didn’t.

“You – you _fucking_ piece of shit!” Peter was shouting now and it was even worse than if he’d just hit him.

“I know,” Albus said again. He couldn’t say anything else.

“You are – I hate you, Albus. So fucking much, you absolute trash! I thought…”

“I’m _so_ sorry,” Albus whispered, feeling another tear leave his eye.

“Don’t cry, you don’t deserve to cry,” he spat. His tone was full of venom and made Albus flinch. “You don’t get to cry, okay? You don’t get to do that, because you were the one who – fuck you. Just… _fuck_ you.”

Another silence. Albus wasn’t sure what to expect.

“Stay away from me, yeah? Stay the fuck away from me.”

When Albus finally looked up he saw Peter open the door and disappear. The door slammed shut behind him and the loud noise rang out in the closet. Albus stared at it for a long while as if he expected it to open and reveal…

More tears streamed down his cheek but he quickly wiped them away with his sleeve. Peter was right; he didn’t deserve to cry. Instead of walking back to the common room Albus slid down the wall, pulled his legs up and buried his face in his knees. The closet smelled of dust and his wand’s light was dim but none of that mattered.

Nothing really mattered.

And despite it all Albus couldn’t help but eventually let go and just cry.

He felt pathetic and miserably and somewhat broken and he wasn’t sure what to do with himself or anyone else. He wanted to just stay in the closet forever.

\---

When he woke up the following morning he felt as if something should be different. It wasn’t. He looked around and saw Patrick and Benjamin discussing something about their robes. Neither of them turned to glare at him or spat an evil comment on their way out. They didn’t know. Of course they didn’t know. Even if Patrick had told anyone it wasn’t likely that the rumors had reached the Hufflepuff common room just yet. That didn’t mean that they wouldn’t, however, and it was really only a matter of time.

He got up and dressed before he headed downstairs to meet Hugo. The Weasley was cheerful and talked about Quidditch and potions essays and the hideous sweater grandmother Weasley had made him – as well as all her other grandchildren – this year. It wasn’t until they entered the Great Hall that Hugo realized something was wrong. Peter entered just about the same time but instead of walking toward Albus or winking or smirking or just anything, all the Slytherin did was stare at him with cold eyes and continue toward his own table.

“What was that all about?” Hugo asked confused.

“Oh,” Albus said. He looked around but no one was staring at him, more than the usual, so maybe that meant that Peter hadn’t told them, that Albus had been a little shit and cheated on him. “We, um, broke up.”

“What?!” Hugo exclaimed loudly and a few of the other students turned to glare at them but Hugo and Albus ignored them as they sat down at their table.

“Calm down,” Albus begged and grabbed some toast and egg. “It wasn’t… It’s over, that’s it.”

“Was he too clingy?” Hugo asked knowingly.

“No,” Albus said. “It just wasn’t… I’ll tell you later, okay?”

And he would; Albus made himself a promise right there, that he’d tell Hugo the truth before anyone else could. His younger cousin stared at him with furrowed eyebrows but eventually let it go and presumed their previous conversations.

Albus nodded at all the right times, even made a few comments but all in all he didn’t participate much. When he looked up from his food he found James looking at him. Albus inhaled sharply and got up before he really knew what he was doing.

“I have to go talk to Jamie,” Albus said.

“Oh, about Peter?”

“Yeah,” Albus said. “I’ll see you later, yeah?”

“Sure.”

Albus quickly made his way through the Great Hall and over to the Gryffindor table. For once James wasn’t sitting next to Scorpius and Melanie and that made this a lot easier.

“Morning,” James greeted.

“I told him,” was all Albus said before he sat down.

“Really?”

“Yes, I told him.”

James nodded in approval and took a sausage. “Fine. Good. I’m proud.”

“Thanks,” Albus mumbled and took a few eggs himself. “Are you and Scop still not talking?”

James snorted. “Not really, no. I think he’s a cunt for not telling Melanie the truth, but it’s not really my place, you know. I’m angry at him, that’s for sure, but I’m also kinda angry at you. It probably won’t last forever, though, and eventually I’ll forgive him.”

Albus nodded; he knew that. James was not very good at holding a grudge against anyone for too long. “Okay,” Albus said and nodded before he started eating.

“You know, I really think what you guys did was just – it was horrible, you know? But, like I said, it’s not my place, so,” James finished with a shrug.

“Yeah,” Albus said weakly, unsure of what to do with himself.

They walked out of the hall together and Albus headed for the dungeons.

Sharing a class with Scorpius was just as horrible as it had been the last few months. They very promptly ignored each other and sat as far away from each other as possible and somehow they made it through yet another class and another day and Peter still hadn’t told anyone.

And one day turned into two, three and four and Albus allowed himself to hope that maybe Peter wouldn’t tell, maybe he’d just let it go. He should’ve known it wouldn’t be that easy. In hindsight given the fact that Peter and Melanie were both fifth years he really should’ve known better. But he didn’t and so he was totally unprepared for Scorpius suddenly slamming his hand down on his table, making Albus jump in surprise.

He was sitting in the library, trying to make his essay for charms, when he looked up and saw the blond boy stare down at him with fury in his eyes. Albus was, to say the least, surprised. This last weak Scorpius had ignored him, hadn’t looked at him or said anything to him. Albus wasn’t sure whether Scorpius was angry that Albus had punched him or whatelse or if maybe he just didn’t care that much about Albus, maybe he wasn’t angry at all?

But then he sure as hell looked angry now.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Scorpius snapped.

“Wrong with – what are you on about?” Albus spat.

“Melanie!”

“What about her?”

“She knows.”

“Oh,” was Albus could say. Then he shrugged and returned to his essay. “How is that – “

“You told her, didn’t you?”

“What? _No!_ Believe it or not, I didn’t tell her anything!”

“Then how the hell does she know? James?”

“No, he said…” Albus’ eyes suddenly widened and he licked his lips. “Peter,” he finally said.

“Peter?” Scorpius asked confused.

“Yeah. I, uh, told him. The truth.”

“Why would you do that?”

Albus inhaled sharply, grabbed his parchment and books and stood up abruptly. “Because unlike you,” he spat, “I don’t enjoy hurting people feelings!”

He turned around to leave immediately when a hand grabbed his arm and yanked him back so suddenly he dropped all of his stuff. With a yelp of surprise Albus was turned around so he was face to face with the taller Gryffindor.

“You think I enjoy this? Hurting Melanie – “

“You must,” Albus spat. “Why else would you continue doing – “

“Maybe it has nothing to do with Melanie and everything to do with you, have you ever considered that?” Scorpius practically shouted. The firm grip on Albus’ arm didn’t falter and Albus could feel the other boy’s finger tremble.

“Don’t make this all about me,” Albus continued. “This isn’t only my fault, Scorpius, and you know – “

“Yes, I _bloody_ hell know that!”

Albus furrowed his eyebrows confused. “Then what are you saying – “

“You two!” a sharp voice said and they turned around to face Mrs. Molly, the young, irritating librarian. “ _Out_ , right now.”

For a short moment, Albus thought maybe Scorpius was going to refuse, but then he let go of Albus’ arm and took a step back. Albus immediately turned around, grabbed his stuff and left before anything else could happen.

 


	3. Chapter 3

_“I want you to remember me. Will you remember that I existed, and that I stood next to you here like this?”_

- Naoko (Norwegian Wood)

 

Melanie didn’t tell anyone either. Albus was pretty certain Peter hadn’t told anyone beside Melanie because it would reflect poorly on him. A Slytherin letting a Hufflepuff ruin him like that? No, he couldn’t have that, he was too proud. And Melanie, Albus realized, probably hadn’t said anything because of her father and his relationship with the Potters. So despite Albus’ fears nothing happened to them. James did eventually forgive Scorpius somewhat and they got back to their eternal friendship or whatever. Melanie withdrew herself from the Potter and Weasley children for a short while but then she returned. Albus never saw her actually talking to Scorpius but she apparently didn’t have any problems sitting in the same group of people as him. And that somehow made Albus feel both betrayed and angry and stupid, though he couldn’t exactly say why.

Albus did actually tell Hugo the truth and the boy _did_ look at him with disgust in his eyes for a few minutes before he wrapped his arms around Albus and pulled him in for a hug. “Oh you bloody idiot,” he’d whispered into Albus’ ear. “You are in love with him, aren’t you?” Maybe Albus had a bloody sign on his forehead that said ‘I’m in love with Scorpius Malfoy’ because it sure as hell felt like it. He just nodded and let Hugo rock him back and forth like a child for a few minute before he let go of Albus and they both straightened their backs.

They didn’t talk about it ever again but having Hugo on his side made everything surprisingly easier. Every time Scorpius laughed too loudly so Albus could hear at his table, Hugo would give him an understanding look or he’d talk louder, drowning out the noise. And Albus was really bloody grateful. After the incident in the library that day Scorpius didn’t approach Albus again and so January turned into February and nothing changed.

The only thing that really happened was the Quidditch match between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor that Hugo and ranted on and on about for what felt like years. A match that Albus didn’t much care about until the morning of the match when Hugo pulled him aside in the common and said: “You have to play seeker today.”

“What?” Albus asked confused.

“Seeker, that’s gotta be you.”

“What about Smith?” Albus asked.

“Well, he’s in the hospital wing.”

“What? Why?”

“Does it matter?” Hugo sneered impatiently.

“Of course it matters!” Albus shouted angrily.

“Something to do with a love potion gone wrong,” Hugo shrugged indifferently. “Now come on – “

“Oh hell no,” Albus said and took a step back. “No way you are making me – “

“You have to!” Hugo whined. “You are our reserve seeker. “

Albus growled at his cousin who only rolled his eyes and snorted loudly.

Albus was, technically, yes, the reserve seeker for the Hufflepuff team but only because there literally was no one else even remotely close to good enough to fill in the position. Albus didn’t want to be reserve anything, he absolutely hated it. It wasn’t that he didn’t like quidditch, it was an okay game and he was fairly good at it but it just didn’t interest him the same way it interested – well, everyone else in his family. The only one who seemed even remotely indifferent toward quidditch was his aunt Hermione and so the two of them had often looked at one another and rolled their eyes when the discussion about the game had gotten a little too heated at family dinners.

Albus’ parents as well as his siblings and cousins absolutely loved quidditch but Albus couldn’t for the life of him figure out why exactly that was. Albus liked flying and he was good at it but that was also _it_. He played quidditch with his family all the time but he never, ever had the need to do it on the house teams. Ever. And how exactly Hugo had talked him into being the reserve seeker was a mystery.

“I hate you so much,” Albus hissed in the changing room ten minutes later. “So, so much.”

“Oh shut up,” Zacharias Black said. “You are good, Al. Even better than Smith.”

“That’s not the point,” Albus snickered and Black knew it wasn’t. They all knew it had nothing to do with skills. It was matter of principals.

“Yeah, yeah you can me hate all you want. Now grab your broom and put on your gear.”

Albus glared at Hugo but followed orders nevertheless.

“Think about how proud Uncle Harry will be,” Hugo continued when they stood and waited for the doors to open. Albus glared at him again but still didn’t say anything. Partly because he knew Hugo was right. Albus’ dad had always been a bit sad that Albus hadn’t done more with his flying talents. He didn’t understand that Albus didn’t want to be a quidditch star like his brother.

When the doors opened and they walked out Albus drowned in the shouts and cheers and what else. It was all very overwhelming and he had to try and swallow hard but it didn’t particularly help. He could see the Gryffindor team on the other side of the field. He could see James with one arm around Fred and the other one around Molly. Fred was a beater together with another seventh year boy Albus couldn’t for the life of him remember the name of. Molly was chaser as well as James and a second year girl named Annabelle Something. Behind James stood the keeper, Tate, and next to him –

Scorpius looked up as if he could feel Albus’ eyes on him. It was the first time in what felt like ages where they both actually looked at one another and acknowledge the other one’s existence.

“Captains!” madam Hooch shouted and Black and Scorpius stepped forward. Albus tore his eyes off the boy and looked at Hugo who was sending evil glares in James' direction. Albus rolled his eyes.

“Ready!” he heard madam Hooch shriek and then all of the sudden Albus was standing ready to grab his broom and fly and it was too much, he didn’t bloody want this. Stupid Hugo and stupid quidditch.

“If I fall of the broom and die I’m going to kill you,” Albus sneered at Hugo who just threw his head back and laughed.

“You know the rules,” Hooch continued. “One, two, three – “

“And they’re in the air!” Albus heard the Ravenclaw commentator, Miranda Bloom, shout. And she was right; they were in the air. Albus flew up and up and up until he could see all of the players beneath him. Miranda continued: “And on the Hufflepuff team we have Albus Potter as seeker instead of that bloody prat – sorry professor. Anyway, we have Albus Potter as seeker for today’s match. It’s practically a family war, isn’t it? Speaking of family; James Potter has the Quaffle!”

Albus heard a roar from the Gryffindor stand and looked down to see James flying toward the Hufflepuff’s goals.

“And he delivers to Weasley. Weasley delivers to – and Black takes the Quaffle! He delivers to Turner and Tuner is off. Turner delivers to Peterson, Peterson to Black, Black back to Peterson!”

Albus couldn’t make out the different players from his position. He could see that someone from the Hufflepuff team had the Quaffle but that was about it. Bloom continued shouting:

“Peterson delivers to Black – Black is getting closer, closer! And – oh, Turner has the – and Tate saves it!”

Albus looked away from the players and let his eyes drift around, looking for the golden snitch. He had no idea where Scorpius was but as long as the other boy hadn’t seen – or caught – the snitch yet Albus didn’t much care to be honest. To be fair Albus knew he wouldn’t catch the snitch before Scorpius – Albus wasn’t _that_ good. Scorpius was pretty amazing on a broom and Albus had heard James talk to his parents about Scorpius going pro.

“Potter to Weasley and Weasley – no, she drops it and – Turner to Black – Potter gets the Quaffle from Hufflepuff’s captain! And he’s off and he delivers to Weasley. Can she keep it – she can! Weasley delivers to Potter. Potter to Jerry and – Potter scores!”

Albus heard the roar from the Gryffindor stand again and when he looked up he saw Scorpius smiling enthusiastic. Albus quickly looked away, flying a littler lower, searching for the snitch. This was one of the reasons he didn’t want to be the Hufflepuff seeker: it was boring. All you had to do was fly around and search and hope to catch the little golden ball before the other seeker.

In the background he could hear Bloom continue and the students cheer or shout. Albus flew around above the players, every now and again getting caught up in watching the game.

“Weasley has the Quaffle and she is heading – but no, the other Weasley saves it and he delivers to Black!”

Albus looked back up and that was when he noticed Scorpius suddenly stiffen. The first thought that ran through Albus’ head was that something was wrong but then, when Scorpius suddenly flew forward, he realized the other boy had caught a glimpse of the snitch. Without thinking it over he just followed suit, leaning forward on his broom to catch up to Scorpius.

“What is that? Malfoy and Potter are – yes, they’ve seen the snitch! Malfoy is ahead but Potter is getting closer – and Weasley has the Quaffle again. She delivers to Potter. Potter – eh, the other Potter – and Malfoy are getting closer!”

They were heading down toward the ground pretty fast. Albus still hadn’t caught a glimpse of the snitch himself but he knew it had to be there, why else would –

He realized just in time. It was a technique his father had told him about. Albus couldn’t remember its name but it was fairly simple: lurk the other seeker down, down, down and then in the very last minute head back up. The other seeker would very likely not make it in time and would collide with the ground. But Albus had, in fact, made it and he steered away at the same time as Scorpius did, both of them managing to avoid a crash.

“Weasley scores!” Bloom roared.

Albus flew upward again, his head spinning and his blood pumping. He glared at Scorpius but the other boy wasn’t looking at him.

“Weasley is heading towards Weasley and the other, well, the third Weasley – “

A Bludger was heading toward Albus – Albus saw Fred glare at him, his bat raised – but one of the Hufflepuff beaters – Conner Macmillan – was suddenly right in front of him and hit it, sending it away.

“Thanks!” Albus shouted as Conner flew away again, headed for another bludger. Judging by the loud cheers someone from Gryffindor had scored again. Albus looked down and saw James give Molly a thumbs up. Not ten seconds later and Hufflepuff scored their first goal. The roar was even louder than before. Not because of the Hufflepuffs but because of Ravenclaw and Slytherin who were cheering for Hufflepuff. If Hufflepuff won the match then that meant that Gryffindor had no chance at winning the cup this year. Albus looked over his shoulder to see Hugo shout and cheer louder than anyone else. Clearly Hugo hadn’t gotten the memo that Hufflepuffs weren’t supposed to be that competitive. Albus rolled his eyes again when Hugo nearly fell of his broom and turned back to the match.

He flew around above the game, searching for the snitch. Every now and again he caught sight of Malfoy circling around not too far from Albus. He clearly hadn’t seen the snitch either and he wasn’t foolish enough to try another feint.

It continued on like that for around twenty minutes. Scorpius and Albus flew around above the player, Bloom shouted and the students cheered.

“Potter to Weasley. Weasley delivers to Jerry and Jerry is off. But Black and Turner are headed her way! She delivers back to Potter and he – uh, that was a close one! Black has the – no, wait. Weasley scores again!”

Albus straightened his back and swallowed another deep sigh. That was when it happened: one second he was looking at his brother delivering the Quaffle to his cousin and the next he looked away and saw a bludger heading toward Scorpius way too fucking fast. He opened his mouth to shout but his body moved faster than his brain: he shot forward without even thinking about it.

No one from the either team had time to process what happened and they were all too far away to do anything.

Albus saw Scorpius turn around in the very last second and the blond boy’s eyes widened. Then Albus felt the bludger hit him hard in back and he couldn’t hold back a broken scream of pain. He fell forward without meaning to and felt Scorpius’ arms around him.

“Albus,” the boy gasped. “What the hell did you do that for?”

Albus wanted to say something – tell him to shut up preferably but… he couldn’t. Albus realized, in that terrifying moment, that he couldn’t feel anything. It didn’t even hurt. He knew Scorpius had his arms around him, he could see it, but he couldn’t feel it.

“There’s something wrong,” he croaked out. He was vaguely aware of someone approaching them.

“Come on we just – “

“Scorpius,” Albus said and he hated how weak he sounded. “I can’t feel anything.”

There was a moment of silence. In the background Broom was saying something, Hooch was shouting and all the students were silent for once.

“What?” Scorpius choked out.

Albus squeezed his eyes shut, trying to breathe through his nose. “I can’t – I can’t feel anything.”

“But…”

“Please just get me down, Scorp, please,” Albus begged.

“You have to – “

“I can’t move,” Albus continued, the fear beginning to sink in. “You have to hold me, if you let go – “

“I won’t, okay? I _won’t_.”

He could hear Scorpius heartbeat and it would’ve been comforting if it wasn’t beating way too fast. He kept his eyes close as Scorpius began to maneuver them both down from the sky.

“Albus!” he heard several people shout then and he thought he could recognize James’ and Hugo’s voices.

“James,” Scorpius said and Albus was surprised to hear the sheer terror in the taller boy’s voice. “You have to help me, I can’t hold him – “

“What – “

“Just help me!” Scorpius shouted. His heartbeat was beating faster and faster, Albus kept his eyes closed. “And someone go down and tell madam Hooch to find Pomfrey – “

“Is it that bad – “

“He can’t feel anything,” Albus heard Scorpius whisper. They were still making their way slowly down, Albus thought, but he wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure about anything anymore.

“W-what?” James gasped.

“Just – help me get him down!”

Albus could smell James right there next to him but he couldn’t feel his arms wrap around him to help Scorpius guide them all down. Albus tried not to freak out, tried to keep his breathing calm but it was hard, especially since he could sense how desperate and terrified his brother and Scorpius both were. And then his world suddenly tilted and he opened his eyes. He caught Scorpius’ grey eyes looking down at him and he had this vague feeling that he was lying with his head in Scorpius lap.

“Albus,” he heard James choke out. If he could he would’ve turned his head and seen his brother’s usually bright brown eyes flicker with concern and panic.

“It’s going to be alright,” he heard Scorpius whispered but the other boy’s voice broke and ruined the otherwise calming sentence. Albus closed his eyes again. He could hear someone approaching and he could hear people – lots of people – murmur somewhere above him. It was all very surreal.

Then someone sat down next to him and Albus opened his eyes again. “Oh dear,” he heard madam Pomfrey whisper. “Oh dear.”

“You can make it – “ James began but Pomfrey cut him off.

“Not now, Potter, I’m very sorry but you have to be quiet. We can’t risk moving him, we’ll lose time.”

Albus heard other voices. He thought he recognized Professor McGonagall and Professor Longbottom but again he wasn’t entirely sure.

Madam Pomfrey said something, it sounded like she was summoning something. Albus kept his eyes closed and focused on the sound of Scorpius’ heart and his brother’s heavy breathing. It wasn’t calming but it was enough to keep him sane for the moment.

“Okay, Mr. Potter,” Madam Pomfrey and Albus forced his eyes open. “This will unfortunately hurt badly. It will last for about ten minutes and then you’ll pass out. If you do not pass out after ten minutes but the pain continues then, well, let’s take it when we get to that, okay my boy?”

Albus wanted to throw up. Instead he blinked once, hoping it was enough answer for the woman and apparently it was for she continued: “Okay, Mr. Malfoy put him down on the grass, please.”   

Again Albus felt the world tip. It was a strange feeling when he couldn’t actually feel anything. He was on the ground; he knew this because above him was the clear blue sky.

“Okay my boy, here we go,” Madam Pomfrey said I a low, calming voice. “It’s going to be alright.”

Albus wanted to believe her but it was hard with the promise of pain hanging over him. She leaned in over him and he saw that she was holding a flask in one hand. With the other she gentle lifted his head. He opened his mouth when she held the flask to his lips. Then she tilted it back and the sweet potion glided into Albus’ mouth. He swallowed until there was nothing left and then Madam Pomfrey laid him back on the grass.

At first nothing happened and he was afraid that it was too later, but then a sharp pain stung his body. It was sudden and ruthless and Albus screamed.

It didn’t stop. It wasn’t a sharp pang of quick, unbearable pain and then it was over; it continued on and on and it only grew stronger and stronger. His entire body was in pain and Albus was vaguely aware of the fact that he was twitching and digging his nails into the grass. He was also vaguely aware of the fact that he could actually feel the grass under him. All of the sudden none of that mattered. He wanted not to feel anything again, he wanted the pain to be over with. His father had once told him, that a person can only feel pain one place at the time. That may be true, but in that very moment it wasn’t Albus’ arm or shoulder or leg or knee that hurt – it was every limp, every hair, every fiber, every muscle, every inch of skin and flesh; all of it.

He kept screaming and screaming and screaming.

And then it was over: just like that. Darkness settled around him and he drew in a sharp breath before he passed out.

\---

He woke up in the middle of the night. He wasn’t sure it was the same night but he found that he didn’t care. His was sore but not in the good way like after he’d had sex with Scorpius; this was a tired, ruined kind of sore, like all of his muscles had decided to break, like all of his bones had decided to crack, like all his organs were inside out.

With a groan he closed his eyes and drifted off again. When he awoke the next time it was day. He knew this even before he opened his eyes properly. He could hear people talking and someone was stroking his hand. His was still tired and sore but he forced his eyes open with a grunt.

“Albus!”

“Oh my god, Al, finally.”

He blinked furiously and tried to make his vision stop blurring at the edged. He finally managed to breathe in through his nose, he felt the air fill his lungs, and then he could make out the faces looking down at him.

Molly stood next to Lily, Louis and Rose on his right, James, Fred, Melanie and Scorpius on his left. Albus moved his glare slowly to his hand and realized, to his surprise, that it was Scorpius holding his hand.

“Merlin, you gave us a scare,” Lily breathed and Albus moved his eyes back to her. She had tears in her brown eyes. He wanted to ask why but his mouth was too dry and his throat hurt.

“How are you?” Molly asked.

“You’ve been out for nearly a week!” Louis said.

“Your parents were here,” Freddie continued. 

“Don’t ever do something like that again!” Rose scolded but he could hear the obvious concern in her tone and it made him smile weakly.

“Hey, give the man a break!” James said and sent his younger cousin a sharp look before returning his gaze to Albus. “How are you, Al?” he asked gently.

Albus wasn’t exactly sure, to be perfectly honest. He was tired, sore, he hurt all over and his head was spinning but all he had to do was remember the sharp pain to know he was alright. He nodded, that was about all he could do, and James smiled and leaned back.

“You children!” a voice suddenly interrupted them and they all turned to where Madam Pomfrey appeared. “I’ve told you not to – “

“But he’s awake!” Lily protested and gestured to Albus.

“He still needs rest,” Madam Pomfrey carried on. “Go now, all of you.”

“But – “ Louis began.

“I’ve told you,” Madam Pomfrey said, “to leave the boy alone – “

“Oh, come one, Poppy,” James said and smiled widely, “you adore us.”

Madam Pomfrey snorted loudly. “There’s been too many Potters and Weasley in here over the years,” she said and gave them all stern look. “Now go.”

Rose grabbed James arm and pulled him away from the bed. Molly and Lily locked arms and started walking away, and Fred and Louis exchanged looks before they followed their cousins.

“We'll come by later,” they told him.

“Scorpius?” Rose called and the boy, the last one, started to get up from his chair next to the bed. Without thinking Albus clenched his hand, refusing to let go of Scorpius. The other boy almost tripped but managed to collect himself. He turned and looked from the hands to Albus and back to the hands. Then he sat down slowly and Albus smiled weakly, feeling his eyes grow heavy and his limps start to protest.

“Mr. Malfoy,” Madam Pomfrey said but then she looked at their hands and it was as if she gave up. With a heavy – and quiet impressive - sigh she shook her head and turned around. And then it was just Albus and Scorpius.

“How are you?” Scorpius asked carefully, stroking Albus’ hands again.

“Water,” was all Albus managed. Scorpius somehow got a glass of water without letting go of Albus’ hand. He held it to Albus’ lips and the shorter boy drank. Then he said: “I feel like shit.”

Scorpius chuckled at this but his smile faltered quickly. “It was – it was pretty bad.”

“Yeah,” Albus said. He could remember pain and he could remember screaming.

“You, um, screamed for ten minutes straight before you passed out and they took you to the castle. Everyone was crying.”

Albus lifted both his eyebrows and tilted his head questioningly. “Even James?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Scorpius said to Albus’ surprise. “Even James.”

Albus couldn’t help himself: “Even you?”

Scorpius inhaled sharply and looked away then and Albus felt like someone had hit him in the stomach. Neither of them spoke for a while after that, Albus allowed himself to just love the feeling of Scorpius holding his hand.

“Where is Hugo?” he finally asked.

“Ah,” Scorpius said and met his eyes. “He felt really bad about what happened.”

“Why?” Albus asked confused.

“Something about,” Scorpius sighed, “it being his fault because he’d told you to play the game or something.”

“Oh you gotta be – “

“I know,” Scorpius said. “He’s been in his common all week, won’t talk to anyone.”

Albus closed his eyes tiredly and sighed heavily. “I’ll talk to him,” he mumbled around a yawn.

“First you have to sleep,” Scorpius laughed.

“Will you stay?” Albus asked, already feeling himself slip away.

“Yeah,” Scorpius whispered and gripped Albus hand desperately. “Always.”

Albus couldn’t help but make a sound that might’ve been a moan but he was asleep before he could do anything else.

\---

When he woke up again, Scorpius was asleep with his head on Albus’ shoulder.

\---

“Mr. Malfoy, don’t you think it was about time you went back to your common room?”

Albus and Scorpius looked up immediately when Professor Longbottom entered. Albus glanced at Scorpius and he could see his face flush. Albus couldn’t blame him.

“I was just…” Scorpius didn’t finish his sentence and when he looked at Albus he flushed again. Albus bit his lip not laugh and turned his attention back to professor Longbottom.

“Can we help you, sir?” he asked and tilted his head to the side.

“I just wanted to see if you were alright, Al,” Neville said and Albus smiled brighter and nodded. “James told me you were awake.”

“Woke up yesterday,” Albus said. “Scorp was just keeping me company.”

“Oh I’m sure he was,” Neville said flatly and Albus looked away from the older man’s stern face.

“Well, it was technically my fault, so…” Scorpius shrugged and licked his lips before he stood up. Albus was looking at him with furrowed eyebrows as if to say ‘don’t you dare’ but Scorpius just shot him an apologist glance and said: “I’ll come back later. I should probably head down and get some breakfast. Professor.”

“Scorpius,” Neville said and Scorpius hurried out of the room. “Now, tell me, are you really okay, Al?”

Albus inhaled and exhaled deeply before he answered: “I am. More or less, anyway.”

“It was pretty – “

“Bad, yeah, Scorpius told me.”

“Everyone’s worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” Albus shrugged. “A bit, well tired and weak, but fine.”

“Good,” Neville said and smiled. “I’m glad. And there we have the rest of the clan.”

Albus turned and saw James, Fred and Lily sneak in through the door, casting long glances to Madam Pomfrey’s door.

“Hello there,” Neville said loudly and snorted when all three of them jumped in surprise. When they saw it was just Neville they visibly relaxed.

“Neville,” Lily said with a bright smile. “Hey, Al, how are you?”

“I’m alright,” he shrugged.

“Well,” Neville said, “I’ll leave you guys to it. Now, don’t skip any more classes so you can sit here,” he told the other three but neither of them looked all that concerned. Neville sighed and shook his head but Albus saw the gentle smile playing in the corner of his mouth as he left them.

James sat down on the chair where Scorpius had sat and Fred and Lily lined up on the other side of the bed. “Scorpius stayed the night?” James asked. “He wasn’t in the common room or the dormitory.”

“Yeah,” Albus said and looked down at his fingers in his lap.

“Oh,” Lily said and then: “Oh boy.”

“Lily,” Albus hissed and shot his sister and evil glare. “Don’t you dare.”

“Don’t I dare what?”

“Get any funny ideas into that pretty little head of yours.”

Lily just snorted and Albus rolled his eyes.

“Well,” James said and coughed. Albus looked at him and his brother met his eyes; brown meeting green. “Are you okay?” and somehow Albus got the feeling he wasn’t asking about any physical injuries.

“I don’t know,” Albus said and looked away again. “Yeah, maybe, I think so.”

“Do you need us to beat him up?” Fred asked dead-serious. “We could do that.”

Albus actually laughed. “No it’s okay, he hasn’t done anything wrong. In fact he hasn’t done anything at all. We barely even talk.”

“And yet you didn’t hesitate to get between him and  bludger, breaking your own back in the process and he stayed the entire night in the hospital wing, not to mention he hardly left your side all week and you should’ve seen the look of his face when Madam Pomfrey gave you that horrible potion– “

“Fred!” James hissed and shot his cousin a glare. “Shut the hell up.”

“What? I’m just – “

“Shut up,” Lily chimed in and even elbowed him in the ribs.

All three of them looked at Albus but he wasn’t sure what they wanted him to do. Tell them he was madly in love with this boy? That he had no idea how Malfoy felt about him because every time they’d been even fairly intimate one of them had been in a relationship? He didn’t know what they wanted, he didn’t even know what he wanted for himself. So he just kept looking at his fingers and eventually James sighed and placed a firm hand on his little brother’s shoulder.

“Don’t scare us like again, okay?” he said.

“Promise,” Albus said and smiled.

“It was bad,” Lily whispered.

“So people keep saying,” Albus mumbled.

“Well, it was,” Fred said and now he was the one who couldn’t look at Albus, as if it hurt him too much. Albus wondered what it’d been like for is cousins and siblings, watching him twitch and scream in agony like that. His thoughts were cut off when Scorpius practically stumbled into the room and stopped dead in his track when he noticed James, Lily and Fred.

“Oh,” he said. “Sorry, I just…” He gestured weakly at Albus as if that was a proper explanation.

“You just what?” James asked sharply.

“Needed to talk to him.” Scorpius shut James a glare.

“Well, go on, talk to him,” James said and crossed his arm across his chest.

Scorpius kept glaring at James but neither of them moved or made any indications they’d back down. Albus thought maybe he should say or do something but he wasn’t really sure what to say so he kept his mouth shut.

“Fine,” Scorpius spat irritated and turned from James to Albus. For a brief second he was still angry but then his anger turned into… admiration or fear. “I just, I was walking down to the Great Hall like I’d said I would do when – when I realized I hadn’t said what I should’ve said. You know, when Melanie broke up with me.” He inhaled sharply. “Even before that,” he continued. “I should have told you this a long time ago but I was a bloody coward and… and what I had with Melanie was good, you know? It was good and safe and I didn’t want to risk it all for – okay, just… I’m in love with you.”

Albus felt his heart beat faster and he widened his eyes but didn’t speak. Suddenly his tongue couldn’t do anything but lay flat and heavy in his dry mouth. And no one else said anything either so eventually Scorpius continued: “I have been for a while now. But like I said, I am bloody idiot, a prat. And it wasn’t true what I said, seeing you with Peter Finnigan _did_ bloody affect me. I wish it didn’t but… It did. And…”

More silence. James, Fred and Albus were staring at Scorpius, Scorpius and Lily were staring at Albus and no one said anything. And then the door to Madam Pomfrey's offiece opened and the witch stormed out.

“What have I told you guys!” she roared. “Let the boy rest. Now. Right now.”

Everyone turned their attention to Madam Pomfrey but for a second or two no one moved, they all sat frozen in their seats. Then James got up and looked from Albus to Scorpius and back at Albus. Then he shook his head as if it was all too much for him and left the room.

“Well, bloody hell – “

“Come one, Fred,” Lily interrupted her cousin and pulled him with her. “We’ll just, uh, leave. Yes.”

And then it was just Scorpius and Albus. And Madam Pomfrey of course, and she was still glaring at both of them.

“Out now, Mr. Malfoy,” she said. “I’m warning you, my boy.”

“Yeah,” Scorpius finally said and tore his eyes off Albus and to the old witch. “Yeah. I’ll just. Yeah.”

He turned around and walked quickly to the door and still Albus hadn’t said or done anything. It wasn’t until the door closed behind him he realized that he probably should’ve said something like ‘I’m love with you, too’ but then it was too late.

“Boys,” Madam Pomfrey snorted. “You, back to sleep right now. And if I catch any more relatives in here, I swear to Merlin’s beard I will…” What she’d do Albus or his relatives he didn’t learn, she’d already turned around and left him again. And so Albus was suddenly very, very alone in his bed.

\---

Poor Madam Pomfrey. That same evening Hugo finally showed up. Or: he was being dragged there by Louis and Rose. And judging by their odd looks, Lily and Fred had told them what Scorpius had said. Albus pretended not to notice and kept his focus on Hugo who wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“Hey,” Albus said.

“Hey,” Hugo mumbled.

“Oh for crying out loud,” Rose snorted and hit her brother in the back of his head.

“Scorpius told me you hadn’t left your common room all week,” Albus said and promptly ignored the way Louis and Rose looked at one another when Scorpius was mentioned.

“Well,” Hugo said, “Bella Smith has been trying spells and charms to make her boobs bigger all week, so.”

Albus laughed and Louis joined in. “Oh, she’s brilliant,” Albus chuckled. “Did any of them work?”

“A few were alright,” Hugo said. “But they all stopped working after a few hours. Bloody good hours they were, though.”

More laughter.

“Well,” Albus said. “I just needed to make sure you don’t think any of this is your fault.”

Hugo didn’t answer to that, didn’t even look at Albus.

“Because it isn’t,” Albus said sternly. “I was the one who flew into that bludger, you didn’t force me or anything stupid like that.”

Hugo snorted. “Well, I did force you to – “

“No, stop that,” Albus said. “Stop it or I’ll persuade aunt Hermione to let Gran make all your presents next year.”

All four of the children pulled a face and Louis patted on the back Hugo for moral support.

Hugo inhaled. “Are you sure?” he asked concerned.

“I don’t lie,” Albus said. “It’s a House trait, I think.”

“It’s not,” Rose mumbled but no one paid attention to her.

“Okay,” Hugo said and that was it, really. He smiled at Albus and Albus returned the smile happily and then Madam Pomfrey showed up and threw them all out.

The day after Madame Pomfrey told him he was free to go. Albus was pretty certain it had something to do with the fact she’d had to throw out all of his relatives once more. Albus did actually feel bad for that but not bad enough that he couldn’t enjoy being able to return to his dorm.

Walking was more difficult than he’d thought and it took longer than normally but at least he made it. His muscles were screaming by the time he could finally open the lid and enter the common room. Every face turned to look at him and just about everyone lit up with bright smiles when they saw him.

“You’re alive!” Patrick said and got up from the couch.

“More or less,” Albus shrugged but grinned when his friend pulled him into a hug.

“Seriously, you gave us – “

“A right scare, I know. It was pretty bad and it won’t do it again,” Albus promised.

“Good,” Patrick smiled, then pulled him – slowly – over to where everyone else sat. Albus sat down on the couch in front of the fire with a happy sigh.

“Who won the match?” he asked with his half closed.

“No one, there’s going to be a re-match next week,” Benjamin said.

“They’re going to have to find another seeker,” Albus said dryly and Benjamin and Patrick laughed. “I’m not doing that again.”

“It was bloody heroic, Al,” Patrick said and Albus was sure he could hear a smirk in his tone. “I hope Scorpius repaid you properly – “

“Very funny,” he said without opening his eyes. “You really are a wonder among people, Patty.”

“I try,” Patrick said and patted Albus on the arm. “I really try.”

Albus snorted but couldn’t help but smile. Simon and Keaton joined them and the four of them began arguing whether Hufflepuff would stand a change in the next match or not while Albus kept his eyes closed, enjoying the sound of their laughter and bickering.

“Hey, Al,” someone said and Albus forced his eyes open to look at one of the seventh years – Theresa Black, Zacharias Black’s twin sister.

“Hey, Res,” Albus said.

“Scorpius is waiting for you outside,” she said and gestured toward the lid. “I told him I thought you were too tired – “

“No,” Albus found himself saying rather abruptly. “I, uh, its fine, I can manage.”

“Sure you can,” he heard Patrick said and smirked knowingly. Albus glared at him and stepped past Theresa to head out of the common room. Behind him he heard his classmates laugh louder and he groaned. He pushed the lid open and stepped outside in the dark hallway.

“You are not very talk-active tonight,” Albus heard Sir Prompt tell Scorpius, who was leaning against the wall with his hands buried in his pockets.

“Sorry,” Scorpius mumbled.

“I’ll tell you, young man, a lot of people come here to talk to me, I’m a very interesting portrait. Very well-liked.”

“True,” Albus said and stepped forward. Scorpius turned to look at him, his eyebrows lifted and his lower lip pulled between his teeth.

“Mister Potter,” Sir Prompt greeted. “Always a pleasure. I heard from the fat lady that you were in the must dreadful accident on the quidditch field.”

“I was,” Albus said without looking away from Scorpius who swallowed hard and clenched his fists.

“Terrible sport, I’ve always thought. Dreadful, absolutely dreadful. There are other and better ways to spend one’s time, I always say that!” Sir Prompt continued on.

Albus couldn’t help but smirk and tilt his head slightly. “I have to agree,” he said and saw Scorpius snorted silently. “Theresa told me you were waiting,” Albus continued, ignoring Sir Prompts ranting.

“Yeah, I heard you’d been set free, so to speak,” Scorpius said with a weak smile. “I realized I never got to thank you for what you did.”

That wasn’t what Albus had expected and his heart fluttered, beating way too fast. This was becoming a bad habit of his, he really had to learn a way to control this shit.

“Oh,” Albus said. “Well, there’s nothing to say thanks about. I just reacted.”

“Well, thank you anyway,” Scorpius said and shrugged. “Don’t do anything like that again, it was bloody suicide.”

Albus felt his lips twitch into a silent smile. “Okay, I won’t. It was pretty painful.”

Something like regret or pain flickered over Scorpius’ features and changed his face for a brief second. “Well, that’s was it. Just wanted to see how you were,” he said and shrugged again.

Albus nodded because he didn’t know what else to do, had no idea what to say. He could tell Scorpius the truth, could tell the blond, tall, handsome Gryffindor captain that he, Albus Severus Potter, was madly in love with him and had been for – god, far too long. But, Scorpius had hurt Albus more than anyone else. He'd broken him in a way no one had ever done before and he’d turned him into something Albus had never thought he would be. Sometimes Albus wasn’t sure what he wanted more: Scorpius or never to have kissed Scorpius. Those two scenarios seemed to be what he craved the must and since he couldn’t go back in time, maybe he should just cross the distance between them and throw his arms around the other boy?

He couldn’t. There was too much pain still, too many emotions, too much confusion, not enough trust. God, Albus wanted to give Scorpius his heart but he was so bloody terrified that the other boy would break it between his long, slender fingers.

“I’ll see you around,” Albus heard Scorpius said.

“Yeah,” Albus said and took a step back, away from him. “See you.”

\---

“Are you just going to ignore – “

“Let it go, James!” Albus sneered without looking at his brother.

“He told you – “

“I know what he told me.”

“Then – “

“It’s none of your goddamn business, Jamie,” Albus sighed.

“Oh Merlin’s beard it is my business, Al. You are my brother and Scorpius is my best friend and if you the two of you – “

“Well, we’re not,” Albus said and stood up. He grabbed his books and parchment and shot his brother one quick look before he turned around to leave, heading toward the common room.

“I don’t understand, Al,” he heard James continue.

Albus closed his eyes for a brief second before he opened them again and continued on. It’d been nearly a week – five very long days – and no one seemed to be able to just let it go, least of all James. While Albus had taken to pretending that Scorpius hadn’t said anything that day in the hospital wing, everyone else had taken the approach of dropping not-so-subtle comments every time Scorpius and Albus were in the same room. It was slowly but surely driving the Hufflepuff insane. Their goal, it would seem, was to drive Scorpius and Albus on the verge of tears with their awkwardness. It was certainly the outcome. Albus couldn’t count the times he had to roll his eyes or smack someone on the arm or in the back of the head on a daily basis. Scorpius didn’t say anything, just pretended they weren’t even there.

“You know,” Hugo told him one morning in the Great Hall, “you can’t keep this up.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Albus mumbled while studying his charms essay.

“Oh I thought honesty was a house trait, you prat,” Hugo said. “You and Scorpius.”

“What about us?” Albus asked while grabbing his pen to fix his essay before he had to turn it in.

“Al…” Hugo sounded almost defeated, sad, like Albus was causing him pain. Albus looked up and caught Hugo’s concerned eyes but he quickly looked down again. “You are in love with him,” he whispered, leaning forward as if to grab Albus’ hand in his.

Albus leaned back, ignoring the hurt look in Hugo’s wide eyes, and said: “It doesn’t matter.”

“I just don’t understand,” Hugo mumbled, looking to the Gryffindors. “He’s in love with you too, isn’t he? Wasn’t that what he said? Then why – “

“It doesn’t matter,” Albus mumbled and grabbed his stuff. “I gotta go, see you later.”

Running away, he was becoming increasingly good at that. Avoiding conflicts had never been more difficult and yet he avoided them on a daily basis by simply just refusing to acknowledge their existence. He had this vague idea that it wouldn’t last forever, that sooner or later someone would lose their shit. He wasn’t sure if it would be James, Scorpius or anyone else, but it seemed inevitably that something would happen. The tension between Albus and Scorpius had been bad since forever it seemed but now it was just downright impossible to witness. The problem was, however, that they weren’t fighting anymore. They could sit next to each other in potion and they wouldn’t talk but they also wouldn’t not talk. It was itching, terrible and absolutely suffocating.

It didn’t matter what it was, Albus wouldn’t let that affect him.

And he did alright. He could ignore it, pretend it wasn’t there, he could smack a few heads, roll his eyes, run away and hide every time someone confronted him and he could smile to Scorpius without it meaning anything more than “good morning,” Albus would manage this. He just bloody well had to, because there wasn’t any other options.

He did alright for two weeks and then everything crumbled.

\---

Hogsmead weekend was just another word for "date weekend". It was even worse than those horrific occasional balls they threw on Hogwarts and that was saying a lot. Albus had never before had a date on Hogsmead weekend and he’d never before much cared; it’d always been him and Hugo. But of course faith was cruel and so his fourth-year Hufflepuff cousin got himself his very first date.

“Her name is Natasha Bloom. Ravenclaw. Bloody gorgeous I’m telling you, Al, bloody gorgeous,” Hugo told Albus.

Albus tried to sound happy for Hugo – he really did – it was just that, well, he wasn’t very happy for Hugo. Because Hugo having a date meant that suddenly Albus was very much alone on Hogsmead-just-another-word-for-date-weekend-weekend and it could only mean certain death, he thought. 

James was the first and only one to suggest he ask Scorpius. Albus stared at him, send him this one, long, suffering glare and then he turned around and left, like always. Whether James had suggested the same insane idea for Scorpius, Albus wasn’t sure and he told himself he didn’t much care about it either. On the morning of the Hogsmead-just-another-word-for-date-weekend-weekend Albus’ mood was darkening by the minute. He’d thought about just skipping but when he’d told Patrick the boy had said that he couldn’t since he, Patrick, was going to bring his date, some fifth year skank, to the common room and no, no, no Albus didn’t need to know any more details. Then he asked if maybe he could go with Benjamin but of course he had found himself a date – just like everyone else, god dammit. Not even Keaton who neither was popular, well-liked or handsome wanted to go with Albus.

“I’m going to try and hook up with Theresa Smith,” he told Albus. “You’ll ruin it.”

Albus sighed and sat down in the common room, trying to ignore the people making out around him. He was seriously going to learn some spell he could cast that would make everyone kissing suddenly burst into flames or something equally painful.

“God, you look like you’re planning to take over the world with some evil master plan,” Lily told him.

“How’d you get in here?” he growled instead of commenting.

“Rude,” Lily said and rolled her yes. “It’s none of your business.”

“What do you mean it’s – oh no. Not you too, Lils, don’t tell me you have a – “

“As a matter of fact I have!” she said. “So shut up.”

Albus inhaled sharply and looked away. He was about ready to blow up the entire castle when Hugo appeared in front of him a few minutes later.

“So are you coming or not?” he asked and smiled brightly.

“What are you on about?” Albus said. “You forgotten your own date, Weasley?”

“I’m meeting her in Hogsmead,” Hugo told him. “Now come on!”

Albus debated the pros and cons of following the little redhead out of the common room but when he saw Lily smiling sweetly to Patrick’s little brother and some fresh air suddenly sounded like a good idea.

They made their way to Hogsmead, Hugo going on and on and on about how perfect Natasha was. Albus nodded at all the right times and even came with some encouraging grunts now and again but other than that he stayed silent.

“Where are you going?” Hugo asked just before he walked away to meet the princess of his dreams.

“Maybe to that new place,” Albus shrugged. “I don’t know, I’ll figure something out. Or I’ll go back to the castle and do some of the prefect duties I’ve neglected terribly these last few months.”

“Okay, sure,” Hugo said. “Are you okay, though?”

“Splendid,” Albus said flatly before he waved Hugo off and turned around. In the end he did find himself suddenly inside of the new shop, looking at books about Muggles and Dragons as well as self-helps book about finding your inner witch or wizard. He snorted and pulled out a random one when he heard the door open and he turned to see who’d entered.

Scorpius stood a few feet into the store.

Of course.

And of course he looked absolutely stunning. His cheeks were flushed from the cold, his hair was ruffled and a little wet from the snow, his skin was paler than usual and his eyes seemed almost piercing against his dark robes.

Albus turned around when Scorpius stepped further into the shop.

He was trying to figure out a way to leave without being noticed by the other boy when a hand landed on his shoulder and he turned around and was met with those very same piercing, grey eyes he’d just admired.

“Scorp,” he choked out as a manner of greeting.

“Hey, Al,” the other boy said casually and gave him a short smile. “What are you doing here?”

“Not much,” Albus answered truthfully and shrugged. “Pretending I’m not wandering around utterly alone in Hogsmead, perhaps.”

Scorpius threw his head back and laughed. “Me too,” he admitted. 

This close the boy seemed even more beautiful. Little snowflakes were caught in his blond hair and his eyelashes seemed impossible long, longer than usual and it made his eyes all the more perfect. Albus inhaled sharply and turned his head to the side.

“You want to go somewhere?” he heard Scorpius ask.

Oh no.

“Why?” Albus asked before he could stop himself.

“Well, it beats being alone, doesn’t it?” Scorpius shrugged.

No.

“I supposed so,” Albus mumbled. “Fine, where do you wanna go?”

“Nowhere in particular. Let’s leave this place though,” Scorpius said and gestured toward the door. Albus nodded and put the book back before he followed the other boy, his heart hammering in his chest.

_Dammit._

They left the shop and headed toward the other end of Hogsmead. The snow fell slowly from the white sky above them and the air was so cold they could see their own breaths – flying from their lips as white smoke, filing the grey air. Albus shuddered slightly and buried his hands in his pockets.

“I supposed you aren’t going to fly as seeker for the rematch tomorrow?” Scorpius asked as they turned left and continued away from the shops.

“I’d rather not,” Albus answered, ignoring the way his blood pounded loudly in his ear, so loud he could hardly hear the sweet, crispy sound of their steps in the snow.

“I thought so,” Scorpius nodded. “Good though, Smith isn’t as good as you,” he said and smirked. “He’d had fallen for my maneuver.”

Albus snorted and shuddered again. “He probably would’ve,” he agreed. “Not the brightest one we have, sadly. But he’s a fast flyer.”

“Not as fast as you.” Scorpius sounded matter-of-factly, like he was simply addressing the most obvious thing of all, but the praise still made it suddenly harder for Albus to breathe.

“Well,” the shorter boy said before he could allow his heart to do any more unneeded stunts, “I may be quick but I’m no good at catching the snitch. I always get bored and pay more attention to the other players.”

“Bored?” the other boy sounded absolutely horrified.

“Oh come on, you,” Albus said and rolled his eyes, a small smirk tugging at his lips. “You have to admit it must be funnier to play chaser or even keeper – “

“No,” Scorpius cut him off.

Albus couldn’t help but laugh at the other boy’s stubbornness. “Whatever you say,” Albus murmured and shrugged indifferently. “I’m only the reserve because they have no one else even remotely close to flying as fast as the other teams’ seekers.”

“Should’ve been in Gryffindor, our team is full of fast flyers.”

“Or Ravenclaw,” Albus nodded, “they’ve got a few good once, too.”

“Not to mention Slytherin,” Scorpius said.

Albus laughed again. “Basically anyone but Hufflepuff.”

Scorpius smirked. “You said it.”

Albus nudged him with his shoulder. “Don’t criticize my house, Malfoy,” he said.

“Wouldn’t dream about it,” Scorpius said and bashed his eyes in mock innocence.

Albus snorted. “Sure you wouldn’t.” Albus rolled his eyes for good measure. “I like my house, just so you know it. We may not be the brightest or fastest or – “

“Or anything else, really.”

“Shut up. We are at least good friends. Really, we are the only house with values that matters, you know. What the hell are you supposed to do with courage or knowledge or ambition – “

“What are you supposed to do with friendship?”

Albus didn’t answer; they’d reached a clearing of a sort, close to the forest, just between the castle and Hogsmead. Albus stopped with the feeling they’d reached their destination. Scorpius stopped as well; standing so close his arms brushed Albus’. He swallowed hard and refused to look at the other boy. 

“How are you?” Scorpius suddenly asked.

“What do you mean?” Albus mumbled uncertainly.

“I mean – are you fully recovered from…”

Albus glanced at the other boy and was surprised to see something like pain in his eyes. He was staring at something ahead of him, a look in his eyes as if he was remembering something, seeing something Albus couldn’t see but only guess. He looked away again.

“I am,” he said. “Please don’t worry about it.”

Scorpius turned his head so suddenly Albus almost tumbled. “Of course I worry. You flew in between that Bludger and me! You could’ve gotten yourself killed!”

Albus was so taken aback by the outburst he took a few seconds before he answered: “Of course I couldn’t, you’re overreacting.”

“Albus, you broke your back!”

“I know that!” Albus wasn’t sure why they were shouting. “It doesn’t matter, okay? I wasn’t even thinking. I was just…”

He looked away from Scorpius’ stern eyes, unable to look into his sharp grey eyes all of the sudden. He inhaled sharply and pulled his shoulders up.

“Please don’t do anything like that again.” Scorpius was looking at him, Albus could feel it.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Albus snapped.

“Then, just don’t do anything like again for me,” Scorpius said sternly.

Another sharp intake of breath: “Don’t tell me what to do.”

Scorpius pulled his lip between his teeth and chewed on it thoughtfully. Albus could hear his heavy breathing in the silence that followed, could see his white breath between them. “Don’t say stuff like that,” he whispered. He placed a hand gently – far too gently – on Albus’ shoulder, making the other boy shudder and look up.

“Stuff like what?” Albus said although he knew. God, did he know.

“Stuff that makes me think you care about me,” Scorpius mumbled.

And there it was; the exact reason why spending time alone with Scorpius was a bad idea.

Albus couldn’t look away from his beautiful eyes. There was something mesmerizing about them. They weren’t as absolutely dazzling as Albus’ green once – he’d inherited his father’s hypnotizing eyes. But, even if they weren’t Albus’ eyes they were still _gorgeous_. Albus could just stare at them forever, could just look into them and never look away. And looking into them was frightening. Terrifying.

“Albus,” Scorpius mumbled, his voice so tender is made Albus’ breath hitch. “I – “

“Please don’t,” Albus heard himself beg when Scorpius reached out with the other hand.

“Why not?” Scorpius asked, voice breaking slightly.

“We just can’t – “

His voice was cut off by an abrupt kiss. Albus made a muffled sound against Scorpius red, plumbed lips and Scorpius opened his mouth and swallowed the sound hungrily. Without even noticing it, Albus lifted his hands and buried them in Scorpius' blond hair, yanking at it, pulling him closer. He tasted Scorpius' sweet tongue and felt it run over his teeth and lips. Albus groaned and pulled Scorpius’ lover lip between his teeth, biting and sucking. A gasp left Scorpius and Albus leaned closer until their chests touched, Albus’ arm wrapped around Scorpius’ torso, and Scorpius’ arms rested heavily around Albus’ waist like they could stay there forever.

It took all of Albus' willpower to pull away from the embrace and take a step back. He was breathing heavily, both of them panting like they’d just run a marathon.

“Albus – “ Scorpius began, reaching forward once more.

“Stop,” Albus demanded while swallowing hard, tasting Scorpius on his teeth. The thought made him shiver slightly. “Just… stop.”

“Why? Just, god, tell me why? I don’t have a girlfriend and you don’t have a – “

“That doesn’t matter!” Albus hissed without meeting Scorpius eyes again; he knew he wouldn’t be able to look away. And he had to look away.

“What – Al, what are you talking about? I’m in love with you, okay?”

“Okay,” Albus said, his voice rough and his fingers trembling.

“Al? Why won’t you look at me?!” Scorpius practically screamed.

“Because I’m in love with you, too!” Albus shouted. He was panting worse than before. He tried digging his nails into his palms to stop his hands from shaking, but it didn’t seem to work much so he buried them in his pockets again. “Okay? I’m in love with you, too.”

Scorpius took a step forward and Albus took a step back. “Merlin, what are you even doing?”

Albus thought he’d never heard Scorpius sound so frustrated before. It made something stir inside the Hufflepuff. Some warm and strong and terrifying. “What would you’ve done if Peter hadn’t told Mel?” he suddenly heard himself say.

He was almost as surprised by the question as Scorpius. The taller boy furrowed his eyebrows, shook his head slightly like he hadn’t understood Albus’ question and then licked his lips and swallowed a lump. “W-what – “

“Don’t play that game with me!” Albus’ blood was boiling. His skin felt too tight and warm, like it was burning. His heart was hammering, his head was throbbing and his fingers just wouldn’t stop shaking, god dammit! “You know exactly what I mean, Scorp. Would you’ve told her? It’s a fairly simple question.”

“Why are you – “

“Just answer it!”

“I don’t know!”

Albus inhaled, feeling as if he’d been slapped. No, worse, he felt worse than if Scorpius had just punched him in the face. “You wouldn’t,” Albus concluded when Scorpius wouldn’t.

“You don’t know that,” Scorpius hissed and Albus saw some of the fire in his grey eyes that he knew was also burning in his own eyes. “You don’t know everything, bloody hell, Al.”

“It doesn’t even matter,” Albus lied and took another step back. “This isn’t going to happen.”

“Why do you have to be so melodramatic, Al? We are teenagers for fuck sake! Why can’t you just accept that we are both stupidly, madly in love with each other? You want me and god knows I want you, too and for once, just this once, it might actually be that simple.”

None of them heard the Gryffindors sneaking up on them, spying on them. Had they just turned their heads a little to the right they would’ve seen Molly, Lily, James and Fred standing in the tree line.

“Because I don’t trust you!”

And there it was.

“What?” Scorpius wasn’t shouting anymore. He was just standing there, looking at Albus with all the fire and determination gone from his eyes. He looked defeated.

“I don’t trust you, Scorpius. Yes, you say that we are teenagers and fuck, I know that, okay? I do! I don’t expect you to marry me, I don’t even expect you to introduce me to your family! I just want to not be _afraid_ all the time that you’ll only want me until you find something better. I don’t want to be a replacement. And I don’t trust you, if you say I’m not. I don’t trust you, it’s that – simple.”

Scorpius didn’t say anything; he just kept staring at Albus, as if he thought the other boy would suddenly burst into laughter and tell him it was one big joke.

“The first thing you said, Scorp, was this might just be one big mistake and – and you were right.” Albus felt his eyes burn, but not with fire, with tears. “I’m sorry.”

He turned around before Scorpius to regain his ability to speak. He had to get away as quick as possible. He was going to run as soon as he was sure Scorpius couldn’t see him – he was going to run and just fucking keep running until his knees buckled and he would collapse of the stone-hard, ice-cold ground.

He suddenly froze when he noticed his sister staring at him with wide, stunned eyes. He turned and saw James and Fred and Molly all standing not too far from her. They were all looking at him with big eyes showing a mixture of sympathy, surprise and confuse.

“What are you guys – never mind.”

Albus continued on and luckily for him, no one tried to stop him. And he kept walking and walking. Behind him he heard his family move but when they didn’t approach him, he thought they might’ve walked down to Scorpius. Maybe to comfort him. The thought made Albus feel nauseous.

He started running once he could see the castle. And he didn’t stop until he was in his dormitory, on his bed, covered by several layers of blankets and covers.

\---

“You are a bloody idiot, you know that?”

Albus squeezed his eyes tight and bit down on his lip to keep from saying anything.

“Don’t pretend like you can’t hear me, Al,” James went on, on the other side of the curtains. “I heard what you said to Scorp just now. You really are a bloody idiot.”

“So you’ve said,” Albus finally mumbled, still not opening his eyes.

“You have to talk to us eventually.”

“Okay.”

“I won’t stop talking to Scorp just because you and him aren’t exactly on friendly terms right now.”

“Okay.”

“He’s my best friend and he’ll probably come over for the holidays. You’ll have to speak to him sooner or later, Al.”

“Sure.”

James groaned and clicked his tongue irritated. “Stop being a baby and look at me when I’m talking to you.”

Albus squeezed his eyes close and tightened his lips. He wasn’t going to turn and look at James. His brother wasn’t supposed to see the salty tears on his pale cheeks. James probably thought he was a weak, miserable Hufflepuff already, no reason to give him any proof as well. Beside, James was one out of many reasons why Albus and Scorpius together was far from a brilliant idea. Dating your brother’s best friend was never wise.

“Fine,” James spat and turned around to leave. On his way out he ran into Hugo who had a huge grin on his face and his cheeks flushed from the both the cold weather and his obvious excitement. His smile faltered as soon as he saw the storm in James’ brown eyes.

“What’s the matter?” the third year asked warily.

“Your stupid friend,” James said and left without elaborating. When the door slammed Albus couldn’t help but stir under his covers, drawing Hugo’s attention back to him. Hugo unraveled his scarf and threw it onto one of the others’ bed before he opened his coat and sat down on the bed opposite to Albus’.

“Hey, Al,” he said carefully. “What’s up with you?”

“Don’t treat me like a child,” Albus mumbled, feeling the tears flow more freely. “Please.”

“Okay,” Hugo said, still using his sensible tone he only ever used with Lucy, the youngest of the Weasley children. She was going to attend Hogwarts next year and she was terrified – absolutely terrified – that she wouldn’t end up in Gryffindor like her older sister Molly, not to mention most of her cousins. Hugo and Al had tried to explain to her that being in another house wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

“Look at us,” Albus had grinned. “We’re both just fine where we are. And our parents didn’t disown us, now did they?”

“They didn’t even disown Roxy,” Hugo had continued, “when she ended up in Slytherin. Or Dominique when she was sorted into Ravenclaw.”

“But none of them will be there when I go there,” Lucy had bawled. “I’ll be all alone.”

“Bullocks,” Albus had said. “It’s not like we don’t talk to the other students just because they’re in a different House. I talk to the Gryffindors all the time and I have a few Slytherin and Ravenclaw friends, too. Besides, if you end up if Hufflepuff, you’ll have Hugo and me!”

That had only made her cry harder for some reason and eventually the two boys gave up, accepting that she was damaged goods.

“What happened?” Hugo asked.

Albus didn’t hesitate to answer: “I told him the truth.”

“Who – oh. Oh! Oh, I’m so sorry, Al, I thought he really – “

“No. No you don’t understand. It’s not that!” Albus moved under the covers but didn’t turn around.

Hugo frowned confused. “Then I don’t understand why you’re so upset.”

Albus sighed heavily and finally pulled the covers away, revealing his red, puffy eyes. “It’s just… It’s just not going to work, Hugo.”

There was a short second of silence before Hugo nodded understandingly and said: “Okay if you say so. What do you need?”

Albus smiled and sat up in his bed. He was really beyond grateful for his younger cousin and best friend. Hugo would abandon everything to make Albus happy when he felt miserable. He was true to his Hufflepuff’s traits; he was loyal and kind and above all a good friend.

“Alcohol,” Albus answered. “I could really use some alcohol.”

Hugo smirked and his eyes lit up. In that moment he looked like their uncle George – mischief glimmering in his eyes. “Okay. That can be arranged.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. But you’ll have to help. I’ll need your prefect privileges.” He jumped off the bed, grabbed his coat and his scarf and headed for the door. Albus only hesitated for a brief second before he got up and followed him.

“How was your date with Natasha?” Albus asked once they reached the lid.

Hugo got this dreamy, distant look in his eyes and he sighed happily. “Bloody brilliant, Al. It was bloody brilliant.”

\---

Now, normally Hufflepuff House didn’t throw huge parties. They gathered, sure, and maybe had a drink or two but never anything else. They knew that the younger students hated that they couldn’t attend the crazier parties that the other houses threw, so Hufflepuff tried to be that place where no one felt neglected. With that said, however, every now and again they’d go all in and throw the biggest, wildest party all year. Once rumor started that a Hufflepuff party was happening everyone showed up. So going from House to House asking for liquor – because of course Hufflepuff didn’t have anything hidden anywhere – all Hugo and Albus had to do was promise a) that whoever could attend the party and b) that Albus would use his prefect privileges to make sure whoever didn’t get in trouble for attending said party or for handing out liquor.

After that it was mostly a matter of getting the other Hufflepuffs onboard with the idea. This was fairly more troublesome but since Albus was, well, Albus and well-liked and also Harry Potter’s son who’d just been in a crazy quidditch accident people seemed to agree faster than normally. So after dinner in the Great Hall every Hufflepuff above the age of thirteen gathered in the common room with beers and Firewhiskey and what else. They put on some loud music that seemed to make very room vibrate and made a huge bowl of punch placed the middle of the round common room.

“Hey, everyone!” Hugo shouted. “Cheers!”

Everyone raised their glasses and responded to the toast with loud “Cheers!” echoing throughout the common room. Five minutes later and the first couple of Ravenclaws arrived. Ten minutes later came the Slytherins and at last, nearly an hour later, the Gryffindors.

By the time James, Lily, Fred, Louis, Scorpius and some of the other Gryffindors showed up the party was already going strong. In every non-existing corner sat or laid a couple and snogged shamelessly. On the couch and the various different tables stood girls and boys and jumped to the rhythm of the bass. The walls very literally vibrated, it was no longer just a feeling. And someone had spelled the speakers to blow out smoke in different colors.

Hugo sat in front of the fireplace next to Natasha Bloom. Next to Natasha sat Miranda, her sister, and Albus. Albus was trying to keep a conversation with Miranda going but he had to realize that he had very little in common with the Ravenclaw girl. They could only talk about the forbidden forest for so long, he figured, and he decided to instead drown his miseries in hard liquor and possibly some gillyweed By the time Albus’ and Hugo’s family showed up Albus was pretty drunk and found Miranda and her friend, Markus Flint II, increasingly interesting. He kept throwing his head back, laughing warmly. He kept spilling punch on his robes but someone always did a quick cleaning spell – Albus wasn’t sure who and he found that he didn’t much care.

“You want some more?” Markus asked and nodded to Albus empty glass.

“Please,” Albus smiled, feeling the rush of alcohol in his system, making him light-headed and slightly dizzy.

“Having a good time?” someone asked making Miranda and Albus turn around. James was watching Albus with both eyebrows lifted and his arms folded across his chest.

“Very,” Albus snorted and laughed. Miranda joined him and Markus returned with three glasses of punch. James shook his head but sat down next to his younger brother with a bottle of Firewhiskey and a packet of cigarettes. “Can I have one of those?”

“What, you want a smoke?” James asked and handed him the packet. “Can you even smoke?”

“I assure you dear brother of mine,” Albus said, “that I can. I can do loads of things when I’m drunk enough.” He ended his monologue with a heavy laughter that made his eyes crinkle and his body shake.

“Even sing?” James teased and smirked as he took the bottle to his lips, throwing his head back to pour down some of the liquor. It burned his throat and made his body feel warm and weightless.

“Even that, Jamie,” Albus said, nodding once, twice and then a few more times. “Even that.”

“You sing?” Markus asked.

“No,” Albus laughed just as James said “sure does.”

Albus turned and glared at his brother but he noticed vaguely how his vision was blurry. It was harder to focus and Albus had this distant thought somewhere, that if he stopped drinking now, he’d only be pleasantly tipsy and not overly drunk. He ignored it and emptied his glass. “I do not,” he said. “I cannot,” he corrected.

“Bullocks,” James said and rolled his eyes. “Albus is an amazing singer.”

Albus snorted and shook his head – his world started spinning. “Am not,” he argued. He took one of the cigarettes and lit it with the tip of his wand. Then he inhaled and felt the smoke scratch his throat before he exhaled and saw the almost transparent smoke mix with the yellow and blue currently blasting from the speakers. “Oh, I love this song,” he said and started nodding his head to the music.

“Another drink?” Flint asked, grabbing Albus’ glass before the boy could answer. Albus just waved his hand and Flint went to the punch bowl once more. Another three glasses of punch and the world was definitely spinning. He could hear people laughing and he joined them without having a clue what they were laughing about. He danced with Lily and some of her friends. He made jokes with James and Fred. He had drinking contests with Louis and Melanie. He lost. He danced some more, this time with the Bella and her older sister Esmeralda. He tried to jinx Miranda and Markus when he saw them making out but he accidently hid Hugo and Natasha and they both turned a hideous green color and started to float around like they were lighter than feathers. It took half an hour to get them down. By that time a group of Gryffindors had talked Albus into teaching them the spell and also practice it some more – suddenly six people were floating around in the common room. He sang along to songs he didn’t know and danced with people he had never met before. Minutes felt like hours and hours felt like minutes.

He sat down on an empty couch. He was soaked in something he thought might’ve been punch. He looked toward the bowl and it was indeed empty. He lifted his fingers to his mouth and licked them slowly before nodding. He let his hands fall back in his lap and he sighed heavily. The world wouldn’t stop spinning and he was positive he’d throw up if he had just one more drink.

He could hear James laugh from somewhere and he saw Lily dance too close with some Slytherin boy. Molly had shown up even though she wasn’t old enough. Louis and Fred were arm wrestling with a crowd of people cheering and shouting around them. Miranda and Markus were snogging again. Benjamin and Patrick had fallen asleep on the floor and Theresa was dancing with Keaton – Albus made a mental note that he had to congratulate the bastard. He’d just gotten up from his position to search for Simon Turner when he saw him: Scorpius was leaning against the wall next to the lid, glass in one hand and the other resting on some black-haired girl’s slim waist. Something burned inside of Albus and he felt like he had a lump the size of a fist in his throat. He saw Scorpius lean slightly forward as the girl got on her tiptoes to whisper something in his ear. Suddenly Albus felt nauseous and he wanted to look away but he couldn’t; he was spellbound by the way Scorpius' long, slender fingers curled around the girl’s hipbone, the way his eyes lit up when he smiled, the way he allowed the girl to press her front against his. She said something that made him laugh and then she giggled too – she even ran a hand through her black hair and despite the alcohol and the great distance Albus saw the way Scorpius followed the movement with his eyes intensely. When she bit her lip and bashed her eyelashes Albus dug his nails into his palms but couldn’t even feel the pain. Before he knew what he was doing, he was walking in their directions.

His movements were slow and somewhat clumsy but he tried to focus and break through the fog that clouded his mind; it was as good as impossible and Albus knew that approaching Scorpius and this girl when he was so far from sober wasn’t a good idea – and he didn’t give a shit.

He was too close too suddenly. Scorpius and the girl hadn’t noticed him yet and he was forced to watch her run her fingers up his arm while she smiled seductively. She leaned closer although there literally was no room left between them and Albus had to fight the urge to throw up – unless, maybe, it was on her.

Before he could get so far someone danced into Albus and pushed him forward. The boy managed to catch himself before he fell into the girl but just barely. He straightened his back immediately, keeping his eyes close a little longer than normally before he looked up at caught Scorpius’ grey eyes. God, they seemed even greyer and more beautiful than they had earlier the very same day. God.

“Excuse you.”

Albus’ attention was snapped back to reality as the girl spoke. He turned to face her and he couldn’t help but pull a face. Maybe she could’ve been beautiful but she wasn’t. She was too pale. Paler than Albus but not as pale as Scorpius. Just exactly the wrong kind of pale, Albus decided. And her eyes were too big. Her eyelashes were too long and she wore too much mascara. Her lips were red and normally Albus thought red lipstick was pretty but on her it just seemed pretentious and false. The dress she was wearing was too tight, showing her perfect figure.

“Albus,” Scorpius said and Albus looked from the girl’s too big, too blue eyes and toward Scorpius again.

“Scorp,” Albus greeted. “Enjoying yourself?” he asked a little drowsy.

“Oh we are having a right great time,” the terrible girl answered and tilted her head so it rested on Scorpius’ chest.

Albus gave her a stiff smile. “I’m sure you are,” he said. “But, sadly, I have to talk to Scorpius so if you’ll excuse us for a moment, thank you.”

Albus grabbed Scorpius’ hand before he could second guess – or even guess at all – his actions. He wasn’t thinking but his head was spinning and his world was still a bit uneven. He had to be careful with every step he took but he was already not as drunk as he’d been thirty minutes ago. He could seriously use a glass of water.

He felt Scorpius stumble forward and the girl shrieked when she fell off of him. Scorpius said something that might’ve been “sorry” but Albus really couldn’t care less about that black-haired skank. He was delightfully surprised when he felt Scorpius follow him without saying anything or putting up a fight. It made dragging him out in the hallway a lot easier.

They passed a few drunken third years who were staring at a teddy bear, apparently discussing whether said teddy bear should or should not be convicted an enemy of government. Albus heard Scorpius snort the laughter and couldn’t fight the smile spreading on his lips.

They had to step over a few passed out Slytherins before they could reach the lid. Albus pushed it open and crawled outside. The fresher air and the better smell hit him immediately and he drew in a sharp breath, filling his lung with the toxic-free air that didn’t reek of hormones and liquor.

A few students were sitting in the hallway or kissing against the wall so Albus continued walking again. He walked to the portrait outside the kitchen and he was pleasantly surprised when he was able to tickle the right pear and make it turn into a doorknob the first time. He saw it as proof he was slowly but surely sobering up. He quickly stepped into the kitchen that was almost completely dark.

“Damn,” Albus muttered. “I can’t see – “

“Here,” Scorpius said and lifted his wand. The light from the tab allowed them to see the kitchen and – more importantly – each other.

“Thanks,” Albus mumbled and gave Scorpius a quick smile.

“Anytime,” he answered. “What are we doing in here anyway?”

“I’m hungry,” Albus said and continued into the kitchen. He still hadn’t let go of Scorpius’ had but he pretended not to notice.

“Do you reckon the House Elves will cook you something?” Scorpius asked. He hadn’t pulled his hand back either, Albus noted.

“I don’t doubt it,” Albus said. “I don’t think aunt Hermione will forgive me if I force the poor House Elves out of bed at this hour, however. And believe me, Rose will figure it out and tell her! Speaking of, where was she tonight?”

“I’m surprised you even noticed she was gone given the state you’re in,” Scorpius said dryly but smirked nevertheless.

“Please,” Albus snorted. “I’m sober as I’ll ever be.”

“Sure,” Scorpius said. “Well, believe it or not bur our dear Rosie had a date tonight.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes. You know Flint’s sister – “

“Wait, is Rose gay?”

“Merlin’s beard, how should I know?” Scorpius shook his head. “Anyway, Flint’s sister’s boyfriend’s best friend, whatshisname, we have potions with him, asked her out.”

“Oh,” Albus said as his eyes widened. “He’s the bloke Rose always “accidently” ends up next to, isn’t he?”

“He is,” Scorpius snorted. “That girl,” he sighed.

“Oh, don’t lie to me, you love her.” Albus poked Scorpius chest.

“She’s one of my best friends,” Scorpius answered, looking at the finger Albus hadn’t moved.

“Mine too,” Albus mumbled, also looking at the finger. “Even if she’s irritatingly good at charms.”

Scorpius snorted. “True.”

A silence fell over them where both of them were just staring at the finger between them. No house elves had yet shown up so maybe they hadn’t heard Scorpius and Albus little break-in. The kitchen’s close position was another reason why the Hufflepuff-parties were so popular.

“Albus – “

“Shh,” Albus whispered and looked up at Scorpius. His eyes really were mesmerizing. Anyone who’d ever told Albus he had pretty eyes clearly hadn’t seen Scorpius’. He stood up on his tiptoes slowly. He felt Scorpius’ hand fall to his hip to supports him and he couldn’t help but smile. He lifted his hands and let them fall into Scorpius’ hair. He looked from Scorpius’ eyes to his lips and couldn’t help but lick his own subconsciously. He wanted to devour him, wanted to taste and bite and ruin. Albus made a sound, a noise somewhere between a moan and a whimper and moved forward. He crushed their lips together in what couldn’t be categorized as a gentle kiss. It was clumsier than normally but Albus hadn’t kissed anyone this drunk since – ever. Not even when he’d first kissed Peter had he been this pissed.

Scorpius tasted of Firewhiskey and sweet, juicy punch when he pushed his tongue into Albus’ mouth gently. He wasn’t forceful or rough, he wasn’t clumsy or demanding like Albus. He just put his hands on Albus’ hips to hold him close and tight as their chests pressed together. And Albus yanked as Scorpius hair and bit as his lips and moaned into his mouth. He wanted Scorpius so much – in this moment, in any other moment, every moment of every day. But now he was too drunk to remember why this wasn’t such a good idea. All thoughts about Melanie or Peter or unfaithfulness or anything else had completely vanished from his brain and he tried to push Scorpius against the door and press his knee between his long legs.

They didn’t pull apart until Albus’ lungs were screaming for air. As soon as he leaned back an inch, Scorpius attacked his bare neck with his plump, red, perfect lips. He moved them down his throat, over his Adam’s apple and to his collarbone. Albus threw his head back and moaned low in his throat when Scorpius started sucking and biting.

“Merlin’s beard,” Albus gasped. “Please, Scorpius, I want you so much.”

Scorpius pulled back and looked down at Albus. “I want you, too – so, so much.”

He connected their lips in another kiss. This time it was less clumsy. There was less teeth and more tongue. Albus’ hands weren’t so demanding and more searching as they fell to Scorpius’ shoulder and then traveled further down his body. He let them trail down Scorpius’ long, strong back and down to the hem of his shirt. He lifted it enough that he could push them under and up so they landed on his back. In the meantime Scorpius cupped Albus’ face with his long, white fingers, pulling the other boy as close as it was possible.

The kiss ended abruptly when someone pushed on the door and Scorpius stumbled forward, tripping both of them onto the cold, hard floor. They landed in a tangle of limps, Scorpius on top of Albus who had all the air pushed out of him with a gasp.

The door opened and James, Fred and some other seventh year entered. They were laughing loudly, Fred had his arm around James’ shoulders and the third boy had his head thrown back. They stopped suddenly when they saw the tangle of Scorpius and Albus on the floor.

“Oh,” the nameless boy said.

“Well, well, well,” Fred mumbled, crossed his arm and tilted his head slightly. “Hello.”

“Hey,” Scorpius said and finally managed to sit up. He helped Albus up so they sat shoulder against shoulder and looked up at the older boys. “Hungry?”

“Well, yes, actually. That’s why we headed to the kitchen,” Fred said. “I guess you guys had the very same idea, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Albus mumbled and nodded, glancing from Scorpius to James. The oldest Potter wasn’t saying anything, he just stared at them at them with something in his eyes that told Albus that messing with James right there and then was a bad idea. He swallowed hard, tried with a smile that didn’t do much and managed to get up. “Well, we’ll just, uh, leave then.”

“No, no,” Fred said and gestured with his arm. “Plenty of room for all of us, right? Unless, of course, you weren’t here for the food in which case – “

“Please shut up, Fred,” James growled and glared at his cousin.

Albus felt Scorpius tense next to him and he pulled his lip between his teeth. “We really should – “

“Yes,” Scorpius said, placed a hand between Albus shoulder blades and pushed him forward, guiding him toward the entrance. The stiff silence that followed was only broken by the sound of Albus and Scorpius scrambling outside without looking back at the others.

When they stumbled into the hallway Albus released a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d held. “Merlin,” he mumbled.

“Come on,” Scorpius mumbled and took his hand, guiding him back to the common room where they could hear the party still going strong.

“No, wait,” Albus said. He didn’t want to go back, not yet. Not while Scorpius was holding his hand and he could still taste the other boy on his tongue. “Somewhere else. Anywhere else. Please.”

Scorpius looked absolutely pained when he looked at Albus. Through the fog still clouding Albus’ mind he was able to push forward the thought that maybe Scorpius didn’t want him anymore. He dismissed the thought quickly, couldn’t dwell on it without feeling sick and nauseous again. The thought that Scorpius didn’t want to touch him or kiss him or hold him killed him inside whether he wanted to admit it or not. He absolutely craved the boy and that was why he was slowly losing his mind every time he denied himself what he wanted so much.

“Okay,” Scorpius said in a low murmur. “We can head back to my dormitory. All the fifth years are elsewhere anyway.”

“Yeah, I thought I saw Chris and Ezra inside,” Albus said and gestured toward the Hufflepuff common room. He tried to hide his obvious relief behind a huge grin but it probably only made it worse. Scorpius just nodded as he pulled Albus through the castle.

Scorpius led the way with his wand lifted. It casted a dim light over the wall and paintings, must of whom grunted irritated, and Albus couldn’t really blame them. He wondered what time it was. Last he’d checked it’d been past midnight but that felt like several hours ago, maybe even days. The party had to be dying down, he thought. It couldn’t continue on forever. Even if Hufflepuff parties usually lasted longer than any other’s it couldn’t continue on too long when there were also attenders from other Houses. They had to be able to sneak back to their own common room before the teachers and other students woke up. Not to mention that someone had to clean the Hufflepuff common before everyone went to bed. That was, of course, given that no teacher or Filch found out about the party and shut it down but usually the students were pretty good at keeping a low enough profile that they were hardly ever found out.

Scorpius walked slowly and carefully, always making sure to double check before he rounded a corner. It was during their fifth or sixth turn that Albus realized that Scorpius was practically sober. That was a surprisingly terrifying thought.

They had to be very quiet. They might’ve been safe down in the kitchen corridors but not out here in the castle, wandering around in the middle of the night. It was usually on the journey _back_ home that Filch caught the must students, but there was a secret codex between all four Houses that no one never, ever told Filch about the parties. Had you been caught you bore the punishment and you alone. Hugo had done so when Filch had caught him after Scorpius’ celebration party.

They made it to the Fat Lady without being spotted and Scorpius whispered the password (Sopophorous Bean) and the Fat Lady opened, only vaguely complaining about the fact that Albus wasn’t even a Gryffindor, and they entered the Gryffindor common room.

Despite the late hour there were still a few sixth and seventh years up. They sat on the couches and talked. They all turned their heads when Scorpius and Albus entered and they raised their eyebrows not so subtly.

Scorpius very promptly ignored them and their loud coughs and walked past them and to the fifth year’s dormitory. He opened the boy’s room. It looked more or less like Albus’ own. All the beds were empty and the window stood wide open, allowing the cold February breeze to leap into the room. He shuddered and Scorpius looked at him over his shoulder.

“You want me to close it?” he asked.

“Please,” Albus mumbled. “Though I do think it’s good for my head.”

“Your head?” Scorpius asked as he closed the window.

“It’s very foggy,” Albus groaned. Scorpius threw his head back and laughed before stepping closer. Albus looked up and caught the grey, beloved eyes. He moved, wrapping his arms around Scorpius. He kissed the corner of his mouth and inhaled the sweet and sour smell of alcohol and sharp cologne. “I want you,” Albus mumbled as he kissed down his cheek, over his jawline and down his throat. “Want you so much.”

“God,” Scorpius shuddered and grabbed Albus by neck, pulling him up for a heated, desperate kiss. Albus never wanted to stop kissing Scorpius. He wanted to kiss him until their lips were sore and painful, until they were both panting, gasping and hurting, until he could taste his own blood and Scorpius’ mixing on the tip of his tongue like venom.

“Please,” Albus whispered and pulled at Scorpius shirt. “ _Please_ , Scorp.”

The boy drew back and looked at Albus then, and for a long moment Albus thought the other boy would throw him out. Instead he nodded and pulled his shirt off, tossing it to the floor. Albus exhaled relived and kissed the boy with more eager than before. His fingers moved down Scorpius' stomach and he loved the way he could make the other boy shudder. He reached his belt and started opened. He couldn’t keep the moan from falling from his lips as he finally got the jeans open and could pull them down.

“Please, please, Scorp, please,” Albus said, not even sure what he was begging for anymore. He just knew he needed it and he needed it now.

Scorpius’ mouth was half-open and his eyes half-closed. His cheeks were flushed, his hair a mess and his lips red and swollen and Albus thought he’d never looked more gorgeous than he did in that very moment.

“What do you want?” Scorpius practically stumbled over the words; he seemed so desperate to get them out. “Tell me.”

“You,” Albus said truthfully and leaned closer. “You, Scorpius. I need you so bad right now, I don’t think you understand.”

“God,” Scorpius groaned. “I bloody well understand,” he gasped and swallowed hard. “Shit, I want you too, Al. I want you right now and I’ll want you tomorrow, just like I wanted you yesterday. I want you all the time and it’s driving me insane.”

Albus was still too drunk to do anything but nod and lean even closer. “Yes, yes, good – “

“No, it’s not good,” Scorpius suddenly said and stepped back, grabbing Albus’ arms in the process, holding him back at an arm length. “Al, I can’t do this,” Scorpius said and he sounded so pained and despaired that a little part of Albus broke inside. Scorpius should never feel so much, it wasn’t fair. “I’m not going to use you like this, Al.” He sounded very determined but Albus could still see the pain and uncertainty flicker in his eyes. “I’m not going to make you do something you’ll regret – “

“I won’t regret this!” Albus said desperately.

“You’re too drunk – “

“Or maybe you’re just not drunk enough, how’s that?” Albus suggested.

Scorpius laughed and shook his head. “I’m not going to hurt you like this,” he said without meeting Albus’ eyes. “I’m sorry, Al.”

“Then… why did you drag me here?” Albus asked, feeling his heart beat too fast.

“Because you asked me to,” Scorpius answered with a shrug. “You can stay if you want,” the boy continued and finally let go of Albus.

“As… In your bed?” Albus said the words slowly, as if he tasted them, tested them.

“Yes,” Scorpius said and turned around. He was searching for something in his drawer and he suddenly threw something to Albus. The other boy looked down and saw that it was a shirt. “You can sleep in that if you want.”

“Are you serious?” Albus asked as he stepped forward.

“I’m not going to throw you out,” Scorpius snapped. “You can stay if you want. Or you can go to James’ or Fred’s bed.”

“You wouldn’t mind if I left?” Albus asked, still looking at the shirt.

“Of course I would,” Scorpius said with a shrug. “But I’d never force you to stay if you didn’t want to.”

Albus inhaled sharply and tried to swallow, his mouth dry and his tongue swollen. “Okay, I’ll stay,” he said and pulled his shirt off.

“Okay,” Scorpius nodded and sat down on the edge of his bed, only wearing his boxers.

Albus pretended that he wasn’t shamelessly turned on by the sight of him as he pulled his jeans down and pulled on the white t-shirt. Not only was it a bit too big but it was also warm and soft and smelled of Scorpius. Albus might never give it back, he thought to himself as he crawled into bed with Scorpius. For a brief second he thought about what the other boys would think when they woke up and found Scorpius and Albus in one bed, clothes scattered on the floor, and then he realized that he didn’t care as long as he got to wrap his arms around Scorpius’ torso and press his face against his sharp shoulder. Scorpius sighed happily and Albus felt the sound vibrate through his body.

“Ready for tomorrows match?” Albus mumbled against his pale, soft skin.

“Oh, fuck,” Scorpius groaned. “What time even is it?”

“Don’t know, don’t care, I’m not the one who has a quidditch match to win.”

“Sod off,” Scorpius growled.

Albus just laughed and closed his eyes, breathing in Scorpius and loving every second of it. “I could get use to this,” he whispered and snuggled closer.

Scorpius tensed a second and then relaxed again. “Me too,” he admitted in a low voice. “Albus… we gotta talk tomorrow.”

Albus was too drunk and too sleepy to be concerned. “Okay,” he yawned. “Tomorrow.”

He let sleep pull him away.

\---

They were woken up fifteen minutes later when Chris and Ezra sneaked in and they both shrieked in surprised when they saw Albus.

Scorpius groaned irritated and told them to shut up. Albus just moved closer to Scorpius and smacked his lips contently.

\---

“Scorp? Hey, Scorp. Scorpius!”

“ _What_?”

“James is looking for you, says the entire team is waiting for you.”

Albus woke up when the thing he was leaning against and snuggling closer to suddenly sat up, throwing him off. He groaned irritated and turned around, burying his face in a nice-smelling pillow.

“Why didn’t you wake me up sooner?! What time is it?!”

“Uh, seven thirty?”

“ _Bloody hell_!”

“Stop shouting.”

“Yeah, stop shouting!”

Albus groaned louder. “Bloody…” he mumbled and forced his eyes open. It was impossible to sleep with all these people shouting. He blinked furiously, tried to blink away the sleep. Then he yawned and stressed and sighed happily.

“Glad your boyfriend at least seems to be enjoying himself,” Chris snorted before he finally turned back to his own bed. Someone, maybe Ezra, told them to shut up.

“Fucking fuck,” Scorpius cursed and he flew out of bed and started running around in the room.

“What – what’s the matter?” Albus asked. Despite the growing, throbbing pain behind his eyes and the feeling of being sea-sick he was rather relaxed and comfortable, like he was meant to stay in this very bed for the rest of his life.

“The match!” Scorpius screamed and grabbed something from the floor. “I have to get to my team!”

“Can’t do much without you, can they? You’re the bloody captain,” Albus snorted and closed his eyes again. He planned on getting some more sleep before forcing himself out of bed and dragging himself to the quidditch match. He couldn’t not go or Hugo would kill him.

Scorpius sighed and suddenly sat down on the edge of the bed. Albus opened his eyes again and looked at him. He was beautiful even when he had dark bags under his eyes and his cheeks were dangerously pale.

“You seem in a,” he shrugged, “okay mood today.”

“I am,” Albus answered and licked his dry lips.

Scorpius nodded, chewing on his lower lip thoughtfully. “We still need to talk though. Do you even remember – “

“I remember,” Albus growled and threw a pillow at him. “I remember mostly anything.”

“Oh, okay,” Scorpius nodded and got up. “I have to go but I’ll see you later?”

“Sure,” Albus nodded. “Oh, and Scorpius? Thank you. For last night. Even thought it was stupid and I totally wouldn’t have minded today I still – thanks. For not, you know, taking advantages or anything.”

Scorpius looked surprised but nodded nevertheless and said: “Of course. Now, wish me luck.”

He left before Albus had the chance to answer him.

\---

“The walk of shame!” Benjamin shouted when Albus entered the dormitory an hour later.

“Oh shut up, you,” Albus growled but couldn’t help blushing slightly. He realized that he didn’t care that his classmates Knew he’d spend the night with Scorpius – not at all, actually. He exhaled deeply and sat down on his bed with a heavy sigh.

“Are you ready, Al?” Patrick asked.

“Yeah,” Albus answered and grabbed a pair of clean jeans. He was still wearing Scorpius' too-big t-shirt. “Let me just change these and I’ll be right there.”

“We’ll wait for you in the common room,” Patrick said as him, Benjamin and Simon disappeared. Where Keaton was, Albus had no idea but he had this image in his of him and Theresa grinding against one another. He’d have to investigate that later.

He changed and greeted the others in the common room. The place smelled of puke and alcohol but it looked surprisingly clean. Benjamin gave Albus a sandwich he’d grabbed from the kitchen as they headed outside.

While they walked and ate, Benjamin, Patrick and Simon talked about the party. Albus didn’t pay much attention to them, too occupied thinking about Scorpius. He was thinking about the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, the way he sounded in the morning, the way he felt under Albus’ fingertips. He thought about the way his eyes lit up when he was playing quidditch with the Potter and Weasley children during the summer holidays. He thought about the way he’d beamed when he saw the broom his grandparents (Astoria’s parents) had bought him for Christmas. He thought about the way he tasted, the way he moaned, the way his sounded when he was about to come. He thought about the way he lost his temper too easily, the way he never gave up, the way he could never say no to James or Fred when they wanted him to pull a prank on someone. He thought about the stupid jokes he’d sometimes muttered after they’d extended handjobs in the prefect bathroom. He thought about the pure happiness he’d seen in his grey eyes when James came to greet him at the express at the start of every new year. And he thought about the way his eyes grew colder when he was angry, darker when he was aroused and whiter when he was about to cry.

Most of all he thought about how much he’d miss him. And he knew that was stupid because he had been without him for so long already, had gone without talking with him for months and yet – yet he knew that if he said no this time, this final time, then Scorpius wouldn’t come back. He would accept defeat. He’d move on. And Albus thought about the poison he’d tasted on his tongue when he’d seen Scorpius with that girl last night and he knew he never wanted to see that again. But that what was he feared the most; that some day some boy or girl was going to show up on his doorstep to tell him that Scorpius had cheated – with him, with her, with his or hers boyfriend or girlfriend, it didn’t matter. Albus was terrified. But he also knew that he wanted Scorpius. “I want you right now and I’ll want you tomorrow, just like I wanted you yesterday. I want you all the time and it’s driving me insane.” That was what Scorpius had said. That was exactly how Albus felt.

As they got closer and closer Albus felt his heart miss a beat. Hadn’t Scorpius been right when he said they were just teenagers? They were allowed to fuck up and make mistakes, right? Of course, Albus biggest fear that he was just another one of those – another mistake. But, he thought, did it really matter? He couldn’t predict the future and maybe – just maybe – Albus hadn’t been the mistake but Melanie? Or maybe the real and only mistake had been the cheating and not the fact that Scorpius had fallen in love with Albus.

In reality Albus wasn’t sure about anything as he threw out the rest of his sandwich. All he knew was that he wanted to wake up next to Scorpius again –and again and again and again.

“Hey, Al, where’re you going?” Benjamin called.

“Just,” Albus said as he kept walking, “have to talk to James before the match, that’s all.”

“Sure,” Patrick laughed. “Not Scorpius, hm?”

Albus just laughed and continued walking. He reached the changing room and knocked the door before he entered. He’d been in there enough times that no one cared. The smell of man hit him as soon as he stepped inside.

“Al,” Freddie greeted.

Albus looked at his cousin and couldn’t suppress a smile. “You look about as shitty as I feel,” he said.

“Thanks,” Fred groaned. “I feel pretty shitty, to be honest. We didn’t go to bed before six. James woke us up again at seven. God, I could just die right now.”

Albus laughed. “You look like it.”

“If we lose I blame you,” Fred groaned.

“Don’t worry, the entire Hufflepuff team have hangovers, too,” Albus said and patted Fred’s shoulder. “Besides, you couldn’t lose to Hufflepuff even if they were drunk on liquid luck and you guys had just been resurrected from the dead.”

“And that’s the best pep talk you’ll ever get!” Scorpius shouted and Albus turned to see him stand in his quidditch gear next to James and Molly as he addressed the entire team. “Al is right,” he said and nodded in Albus’ direction without meeting his eyes. “We can beat them – it’s Hufflepuff we are talking about, right? Come on!”

The players cheered and headed to the door. Albus took a deep breath and walked over to Scorpius who was talking to Molly.

“Hey,” he said and grabbed his arm. Molly, James, Scorpius as well as practically everyone else turned to look at him. “Uh, I just wanted to, um – “

“Let’s talk about it after, alright?” Scorpius suggested and lifted his eyebrows.

“Sure, but’s that’s not…” Albus’ voice trailed off and in that moment the doors opened and the players walked onto the pitch.

“Later,” Scorpius promised and followed his team outside. Albus inhaled sharply and watched them leave. Then he bit down on his lip and followed them.

He could see the Hufflepuff players on the other side of the pitch. He’d been right; they looked just as worn out and tired as the Gryffindors. Even the students cheering didn’t sound as engaged as they usually did. Albus swallowed hard as he hurried on. He saw Madam Hooch look at him and he knew she was about to shout at him but he didn’t care.

“Scorpius!” he called and entire bloody school turned their attention to him. He felt a shiver run down his spine but he ignored it.

Scorpius turned to him again and gave him a confused and slightly irritated look. Next to him stood James and he didn’t look as angry as he had last night – instead he looked curious as if he’d figured out what Albus was about to do. The Hufflepuff swallowed again.

“Scorp,” he said as he took the final step toward the boy.

“Al, what – “

He didn’t get to finish the sentence because Albus cut him off with his lips. It wasn’t a heated kiss like they’d shared last night and it wasn’t desperate as it’d been so many countless times before – it was just a kiss.

Albus pulled back quickly and chewed on his lip as if he was still trying to taste Scorpius. He wanted more. “For good luck,” he said and nodded before he turned around hurried away. Not before he caught James’ eyes, of course, and saw his brother smirk and wink. Albus suppressed a sudden laughter as he left the pitch. He could hear people murmur something, whispering or rooting for him, he didn’t care.

He got back to his seat and very promptly ignored the huge grins his friends wore.

And maybe Gryffindor did in fact win.

And maybe Scorpius flew better than he ever had before.

And maybe his maneuver worked on Smith and sent the other Seeker colliding with the ground.

And maybe Albus _accidently_ cheered every time Gryffindors scored.

And maybe he actually got up from his seat and joined the shouting and cheering when Scorpius caught the snitch after just fifteen minutes.

And maybe Scorpius gave him a kiss afterward.

And maybe they had amazing sex in the astronomy tower while everyone else was celebrating in the Gryffindor common room.

Just maybe.

~Finn~

 


End file.
